Home Game/Killing Floor - Week 27

[clauderainsrm.livejournal.com]

Yes, you read that correctly.

The Home Game and Killing Floor have merged - with a twist! :)

If you are NOT a current contestant, but want to write something and link it at Idol, this is the place to come. That's the Home Game element. It's a chance to still have your writing out there, as a part of this place.

The Killing Floor is where people go to receive constructive advice on their pieces. So, if you post something here, people are expected to do more than just a "Good job", and instead actually give you something that you can use to make the entry even better.

Mixing them is a move, but I wanted to make a *big* move, so here it is:

IF YOU GIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM TO TWO OR MORE PIECES IN THE HG/KF EACH WEEK, YOU WILL BE ELIGIBLE TO VOTE ON WHO WILL RECEIVE IMMUNITY IN THE COMPETITION.

That's right. It's not just submitting entries or giving feedback on entries - there's actually *influence over the game* on the line here. :)

***

Since it's "Open Topic" this week for the main competition, that pretty much covers anything you want it to cover! :)

This thread is for HG entries - and feedback to them - only. Everything else should go to the Green or Work Room.

Comments

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

http://beeker121.livejournal.com/237868.html

It's lonely in here. Does anyone want to come outside and play?

[kehlen-crow.livejournal.com]

I like your generalization of witchiness.

However, as someone unfamiliar with Pratchett's writing, I found the second paragraph heavy and difficult to read as an introduction. Maybe a little less world-specific terminology would be better, or if you explained Headology, even in a couple of words, and also maybe 'house visiting' or something along these lines.

Gave you read Goodkind's 'Sword of Truth' series? It's rather harsh (NC 17) but they have those awesome wizard's rules there on how to do magic without actually doing any magicking, only knowing how people act and think. The first rule is “People are stupid. They will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true.”

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

Thank you for taking the time to read over here, I appreciate it.

I knew that paragraph was a bit of an info dump, and honestly if I were still writing for the competition I would have edited it heavily, or possibly not written this at all. I am sorry it bogged you down. Headology is mostly just being smarter than the people around you, so they think you're doing magic when really you're doing common sense with a little window dressing.

I haven't read Goodkind but based on that rule alone I need to add it to my need to read list, thank you. Though in the witching I'm thinking of the witches try really hard not to think of everyone else as stupid, though sometimes that's hard.

[kehlen-crow.livejournal.com]

Headology is mostly just being smarter than the people around you, so they think you're doing magic when really you're doing common sense with a little window dressing.

It's quite the same in the Sword of Truth. There is a wonderful scene where a wizard makes an angry crowd of men believe he has deprived them of their manhoods :D on the power of suggestion alone.

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

The scale is a little different but yup the same idea. One of my favorites is when Granny gives an old man a magic tin cup and tells him that if he fills it from the head of the stream every morning his back pain will go away. The only magic is that he'll be walking two miles daily instead of sitting.

[tonithegreat.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I like this a lot. I have to say, "I'm with you! Working on these same things!" And it is exciting to want to share in something like this.

In particular, the cadences of the paragraph that ends with They are teaching all the time if you’re smart enough to learn. Witches choose. are really nice.

If anything, I would recommend writing more here. It feels effortless, which I think is both a good and a bad thing. It is a nice length, and leaving it with the feeling of "Come on this journey with me," is a good move, I think. But maybe you coud say more about where you think it might be taking you.

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

It feels effortless

Really? Then I must have done something well because this was a bitch to get down without being overly repetitive or descriptive but still feeling like I had the necessary parts. Thank you, thank you.

That said, this is all there is because that is all there is. I really haven't figured out where this is taking me yet (other than picking back up my knitting which is such a little thing). This came out a little more 'call to action' than I realized, but I think it was mostly because I was trying to incite myself.

It is nifty to know I'm not the only person working on things like this! Thank you for the response and super thank you for coming back here and commenting on something from forever ago (in Idol time), I really appreciate it.