therealljidol | Member Posts

Ha. So — so far at 3/4 for rejections (for jobs and writing submissions) over the last, er, month. Jobs — one I just did not hear from (the posting was removed and then relisted), and the other was a mismatch between what their ad said and what they actually wanted (they were nice about it, but it wasn't a fit). The writing thing I figured I would be rejected for, too, since right after I submitted, they shared on their social media, "we're especially interested in stories about [SOMETHING I DID NOT WRITE], as we've been inundated with stories about [WHAT I DID WRITE]", which...oops.

It's...I dunno. As I said to Ed in therapy yesterday, I know that if you don't submit stuff, you can't, like, expect to have any chance of getting stuff published, and if you don't apply to jobs, you won't get hired, but both processes suck a lot and I am not a fan.

I have one more piece currently out for publication. It was an even longer shot than the first one, so, er. I'm preemptively going, "yeah, I'm going to guess I didn't get in for this one, either" and shrugging. At least I tried?

Right, anyway.

The upshot to this is that while I was very much In My Feelings yesterday re: rejections and just feeling low, I got a very nice comment on one of the things I have on AO3 that I'm most proud of (The Road Through the Mountains, because...yeah, anyway). Like, nice enough that it made me teary, because it came in very shortly after the extremely impersonal writing rejection (like, they misspelled my name, that's how impersonal we're talking, ha), and it was very clear from what they'd written that they loved the piece, which was a great feeling. ♥

And, er, well.

The auctions for Fandom Trumps Hate opened for bidding today — they'll be open through Friday — so imagine my complete and total shock when I opened the bidding sheet for the writing I'm offering and saw that there is, in fact, a bid — one placed pretty early, even, for 5x what my minimum bid listing is, from someone I don't know.

I had sort of half-expected that I was going to need to send someone $5 to bid on me, so this is a very pleasant surprise. ♥ Almost offsets the "ugh, applying for stuff is the WORST" feelings. :)

If you're wanting to bid, then, looks like you have to donate more than $25.

If you want tabletop (bespoke tabletop!!), that one is open and doesn't have any bids yet — you can find it here.

halfshellvenus

I don't think I mentioned that HalfshellHusband got me a fantastic Lumibricks Time-Rift Library set for Valentine's Day. I'm really looking forward to putting it together!

In the meantime, I just finished a Starry Night set I got 2-3 years ago and never put together because of all the time spent on the house rebuild or (after moving back home) because it was still in an unopened box. I picked this set out as a birthday present however many years ago, partly because of the Starry Night theme (I have a LOT of Starry Night "merch") and also because it includes a Van Gogh minifigure with his painting. \o/

What I failed to notice at the time was that it was a mini-brick set. I haven't worked with those before, and the danger of something rebounding off the other pieces (or just falling) is very high. The smallest pieces are extremely hard to find on our Oriental-patterned rug. I didn't lose anything permanently, though the set had a few missing pieces (I improvised) and a LOT of extra pieces. The instructions were all pictures, with the number 1, 2, and 3 being the only non-Japanese (Chinese?) parts, and one of the blues was REALLY hard to make out on the diagrams— I had to get out a flashlight. This was a super-challenging build. :O

Midway through the build:

Three-quarters of the way done:

Final product with mini-artist:

I would recommend this set, except that it's no longer being made. There are other Starry Night sets, but the resulting "pictures" are usually less accurate than this one. Someone did a very creative job designing this! But if you're tempted, there's the original LEGO set (expensive!). And also these three knockoff sets at varying prices (all of which have a mini-painting, and you could add your own made-up mini-figure)! That last set is actually pretty good. All are mini-bricks, though, so be warned.

In other news, I put the coffee table together. That amounted to screwing in the legs, which were in two pieces to accommodate a flat lower section. The biggest challenge? Breaking down all that styrofoam to get it in our garbage can. It'll probably take 2-3 weeks to get rid of it.

hafnia

I signed up to do work for

fandomtrumpshate this year. So, er.

Two different auctions, one for writing (obvs) and one for fan labor.

Writing auction is here — 20-50k words, up to E rating, original work. There's more details at the link, but basically, if you want a bespoke romance novel, you get a bespoke romance novel. Or, you know, SFF action-adventure or whatnot, it's really up to you.

People who are familiar with The Road Through the Mountains or In the Lord's Manor: YEAH, YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT I LIKE TO WRITE, AND IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, I'M FUCKING THRILLED.

(People that liked the House Ilizana stuff in particular — you know who you are — I have a planned-but-not-written longfic about Jastira and her lady's maid and what they got up to prior to her marriage to Mal's dad that I have been itching for an excuse to write, so if you look at this and go, "man, $5, that's pretty reasonable, I wonder if she'd be willing to...", the answer is YES.)

Genuinely, though, if there's anything I've done that you've liked and wanted more of, bids start at $5! It goes to charity! I will write basically anything as long as it doesn't hit my DNWs!

Bidder's choice as to which charity stuff goes to, please bid on me? Ha ♥

The fan labor action is here, and it's the one I imagine more people will be interested in. Ever wanted to play one of my campaigns but not had a chance to because of timing, wanting to play solely with people you know, or similar? GOOD NEWS. I'm offering a bespoke ttrpg one-shot. Limited in system (D&D 5e, Monster of the Week, Blades in the Dark), but 3-4 hours depending on players and what people want, I will work with the bidder on what themes they want present, etc. Again, details are at the link, but if you've ever been like, "the games you run sound cool, I want to play with you", good news!

Bidding for that starts at $20, again bidder's choice as to which charity you donate to. ♥ Please note that $20 total for tabletop for up to 6 people is a fucking steal, for most DMs/GMs it's more like $15-20 per person at the table, on the low end, so!

Bidding will open on March 3rd (and you bet your sweet bippy that I'm going to advertise again, so!).

I really doubt there'll be much competition for bids, so! Keep an eye out, if you want to bid, please do so, or if you know someone who would be interested in what I'm offering, point 'em at the auctions, yeah? :D

ofearthandstars

From this week's

thefridayfive:

1. What made you happy this week?
I managed to knock out a fair amount of tasks at work, and also achieved some monthly goals (planning for upcoming trips/birthdays). Feeling accomplished is good.

2. What made you sad?
I can't say that I've felt particularly sad over the last week, but I've been doing a lot of continued grieving over work and personal life changes in the last year.

3. What made you angry?
The news—from Kansas, from Minnesota, from EPA, from Iran, from everywhere. I'm so tired of terrible people being terrible.

4. What are you looking forward to in the next week?
My SO has a birthday next weekend, and we'll be celebrating that as best we can.

5. What are you not looking forward to?
My daily work is a bit of a slog right now, and it's hard to stay mentally motivated and engaged.

hafnia

27 is late, of course, because I saw friends last night and didn't get home til late :D

27: If I had unlimited resources (including time), what hobby would I pursue?

There are two!

1). I learned how to oil paint when I was a teenager, I loved it (I was not very good at it, but that's fine), and I miss it. Would love to do it again at some point!

2). Stained glass.

Both are specifically, "money/having a space to do it in"; would also love to learn to blow glass someday (there's a bunch of workshops for it out here, oddly enough), but that's something where it's like, "I fully expect that I will try doing this and go, 'hmm, cool, not for me!'", whereas the other two are things I know I like. :D

28: Best moment of the last month?

Oh, seeing that my fucking sourdough worked and being able to make myself a sandwich with it (which was very good), almost definitely! :D

ryl

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has marked as possibly inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18. )

hafnia

if I could travel anywhere, where would I go/what would I do?

I mean, honestly? I'm kind of boring. I'd go back to Spain and spend a week or two doing nothing more important than eating good food and visiting all the historical sites, maybe hit up Portugal while out there.

Max wants to visit Japan, someday I would like to visit Chile, but like — for the most part, "go back to Europe now that I'm older and theoretically have money" is near the top of the list. :D

Anyway, er — the sourdough adventures continue! I made crackers from discard (very good, worth doing again), and today I experimented and did a weird loaf (this recipe).

It turned out pretty well, actually!

It's very high hydration, which means it stuck awfully to my brotforms, but I'm going to drop it for next time, I think, and try again. "Next time" as in, "I'm probably going to make more bread this weekend, because Why Not".

We are moving ever closer to the cranberry walnut loaf of my dreams, which is the Important part. :D

halfshellvenus

In fact, I own two of them! I purchased a random LEGO Harry Potter minifigure from ebay, and it also wound up being this: Professor Sprout with mandrake. How cute is that?

It is, of course, all about the mandrake. Because I love absurdity. AND I just discovered that there is also a Sirius Black minifigure with ball and chain! Ahahahahaha!

After our random winter day last week (53^o), we're now having more springlike weather. A little TOO springlike—Saturday's high is supposed to be 76^o, which is awfully warm for the end of February. It makes me worry that the summer temps will come early, like in March or April. Please, no!

I finished Station Eternity recently, which was a fun read. It's a combination of comedy, mystery, and sci-fi. The main character is a young woman with an uncanny gift for solving murder mysteries, who notices that a LOT of those murders involve people who are somehow connected to her. She pleads with a sentient space station to grant her refuge, so she can get away from humanity and stop triggering more murders. There are only two other humans on the space station with her... until the station decides to invite a human contingent for a visit. More murder ensues!

I also finished T. Kingfisher's Hemlock and Silver, which is kind of a desert-based light fantasy with loose ties to the Snow White fairy tale. The main character is a poison expert, which is unusual. An enjoyable read over all. Someday, I'll get around to reading The Raven and the Reindeer, which I forgot I bought on Kindle at some point. This is good, as our county library still refuses to buy the digital version of it.

This weekend: I'll be building the coffee table, gathering some more items for Goodwill, and I might finish my pseudo-LEGO mini-brick Starry Night set! \o/

ofearthandstars

"Today, transgender people across Kansas are reporting receiving letters from the Kansas Division of Vehicles stating that they must surrender their driver's licenses and that their current credentials will be considered invalid upon the law's publication in the Kansas Register on Thursday. Should any transgender person be caught driving without a valid license, they could face a class B misdemeanor carrying up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine.

...In addition to the driver's license provisions, the law bans transgender people from using bathrooms matching their gender identity in public buildings and creates a bathroom bounty hunter system allowing citizens to sue transgender people they encounter in restrooms for at least $1,000 in damages, including potentially in private restrooms."

We ran Pat McCrory out of the governor's seat for a lot less.

hafnia

talk about a TTRPG system other than Dungeons and Dragons

Easy — there's a number of them I like. Blades in the Dark and Monster of the Week/Thirsty Sword Lesbians/Apocalypse World/every other PbtA game out there come to mind, as do some lovely GMless indie ones (Stewpot! Rusalka! Fiasco! The Quiet Year!), BUT.

Honestly, okay, the top complaint I get about tabletop?

"I don't want to play online, I don't want to play with strangers, and I don't know anyone offline that wants to play with me, where do I even start?"

The answer for that is:

SOLO GAMES.

There's a bunch. I'm not talking about the weird D&D hacks, either, though those do exist (and I don't recommend them!). Solo tabletop as a genre has expanded a lot and there's a bunch of wonderful stuff out there now. I've played a few, but my favorite, by and large, is Thousand Year Old Vampire.

In TYOV, you play as a vampire made sometime in history. You pick when, give yourself a handful of possessions, and then roll dice and respond to prompts to figure out what happens to you. Do you survive and thrive, or do you die? What do you remember, what do you forget, and how do you adapt to being a vampire? It's extraordinarily well-done, and unlike a lot of journaling games, which can feel like writing prompts, it manages to capture the experience of roleplay extremely well. I played it for the first time a couple of years ago, and ended up documenting what happened to a Roman peasant girl as she lived through the collapse of the empire and into the Middle Ages. Some of the choices I was faced with and things that my character had to do were among the hardest I've ever made as a player, and it required a great amount of consideration and thought to move from point A to point B. The game broke my heart (in a good way), and I highly recommend it. It is, to this day, one of my favorite games. ♥

In non-Talking Meme Month news: reveals happened for the January round of a remix exchange I'm involved in, so I now have something new on AO3 that is (surprise!) not rated E.

And I Awoke on the Cold Hill's Side (rated T, 7.5k words) is a love letter to growing up queer in Salt Lake. It's set around the time that I would have been in undergrad. It's not perfect (what is?), but I hit the mark for what I set out to do, and, well, yeah. People familiar with the valley can probably pinpoint exactly which warehouse I'm talking about for where the party toward the middle of the piece takes place.

...I also have another piece up that is, uh, rated E. Slaying the Dragon (E, 14k words) is about grief and how we recover from it and come back to ourselves. It's set in the same universe as The Road Through the Mountains, though it's obviously not the same characters or set-up, and no familiarity with it is required. ♥

Not much happening. Have thus far been ghosted or rejected by every job I've applied to. I feel mostly okay about that. I have some freelance work lined up for the fall (we're drawing up contracts), so I am perhaps less worried about money coming in than I should be. Still noodling on various and sundry stuff; been dealing with some pretty awful chronic pain things lately so that's taken most of my focus, and I'm trying to like, gently remind myself that I can in fact take this time to simply Be and not worry about, you know. Everything.

( talking about FOSS/software stuff, probably not interesting to most people. )

halfshellvenus

You've probably heard of "theater of the absurd." Well, someone has extended that idea into an anti-Trump opera. With Vampires. And other weirdness. All in German:

Watch on YouTube

And yes, I would totally go see that!

hafnia

what book(s) have you read only once that have stayed with you so long that you can never stop thinking about them? (Good and bad)

Ha, I'm a compulsive re-reader, so it's more like, "what have I read only once?"

Two come immediately to mind:

1). Atonement. If you know, you know. I don't know that it is possible to reread this book considering what the ending reveals — I mean, perhaps people do, but...lord.

2). A Fine Balance. It's a historical fiction novel about The Emergency declared in India in the 1970s. It's a brutal book. You end up caring for all the characters and, well. Given the time period and who they are socially, nothing good happens. It's not bleak per se (looking at you, A Little Life), but it's realistic in what was likely to have happened to each of them given considerations like caste, etc. It's a lot. I don't regret reading it, but I won't reread it. Once was enough.

I will say that for the most part, I don't finish stuff I'm not enjoying — life is short, there are many books, if I'm not into something I usually don't make it all the way through.

With that said, though, I absolutely loathed Blindsight by Peter Watts, and I am still annoyed that for a few years there it was held up as the piece of Science Fiction For Scientists.

(These days it seems to be stuff by Andy Weir, which I by and large haven't read, because The Martian was aggressively fine, and I could not get into Artemis.)

hafnia

favorite tarot card (whether for art, meaning, or something else)?

(As per usual, I will do the writing ones when I get my shit together, preferably on a day when I'm not dealing with a migraine.)

I have a few favorite cards, less because of art, and more because of meaning. As per usual, in no particular order:

The Magician: The Magician represents ambition, manifestation, resourcefulness and inspired action. I have a lot of fondness for this one simply because it was one of the major arcana I used to pull most frequently when doing readings for myself. One of the potential interpretations of the Magician is that it represents balance and having the ability to do things because you have all the resources at your disposal — and, yeah, I liked that. Ha. In my favorite (goblin) deck, he's a juggler and it's quite pretty art, but it doesn't appear to be online (boo), so I suppose you'll have to take my word for it.

Death: Not literally about death; also the card I tend to pull the most these days. Er, hmm. Death is about change, transformation, endings — it's a pretty positive card and it is only rarely about literal death. One of my favorite books about tarot talks about accepting Death as part of life, and I think about it a lot in that context — there are constant deaths in the form of endings around us every day, and part of finding meaning and purpose in life is learning to accept this.

The Ten of Cups: Cups as a suit are meant to represent relationships and connections, both romantic and not. The Ten of Cups is specifically about having those relationships/connections in abundance and feeling connected and cared for — it's basically "happiness: the card".

At one point, one of my very good friends, who does tarot, offered to tell each of us what cards in her deck she associated with us. She left it to us to figure out the "why". Most of my friends were major arcana — I still remember being mildly jealous of the person who was told theirs was 'the Star' — and I was sort of upset at the time that I was the 10 of Cups.

Now that I do tarot, I think it may be one of the best compliments I've ever been given. So. Yeah.

halfshellvenus

I took the books to the library this weekend, and our bonus room has space in it again! There are a couple of boxes and bags in there with stuff to take to Goodwill (we seem to always have a running box for that), but all the books are gone now. Huzzah!

This was a weekend in which I actually got some things done. In addition to getting those books out, I cleaned up an office chair that I need to sell, and I assembled a couple of end tables I bought from Overstock last week. They were easy to put together, and they look pretty nice. But it took almost as long to get all of the tape off the boxes (for recycling) and break up the styrofoam they shipped with! I really wish styrofoam was recyclable. :(

While working on the end-tables, I started watching Euphoria on Hulu. This was mainly because someone recommended Eric Dane's performance in it (sadly, he passed away this weekend from ALS), and it also has Jacob Elordi. It's a high-school-age drama, and really well-written, though the kids lives are messy. It's full of things you would really hope teenagers aren't doing. It's also much more sexually explicit than I would like, especially given the age of the characters. I realize all the actors are in their 20s, but they're supposed to be kids, so it's kind of skeevy on top of being TMI. But I will say that Jacob Elordi was gorgeous even in his early 20s, and looked much the same as he does now. This isn't always true, especially for men— Gregory Peck, Cary Grant, and even Mel Gibson weren't really good-looking until after about age 30. For some, it's needing to lose a little of the baby fat that makes their faces less distinctive. For Gregory Peck, I think most of it was needing to put on about 20 pounds!

We also watched Sinners, which we enjoyed but I wouldn't consider Oscar-worthy— mainly because of the vampires! The period detail was really good, though, and Michael B. Jordan (as twins) lived up to all the reasons I have a weakness for him. :)

Next weekend: the coffee table I also bought last week. \o/

xeena

( FEBRUARY )

adore

I posted here about Amazon behaving oddly with my KDP account. I have since got wind of more information about Amazon and some recent choices it's been making.

Firstly, I subscribe to the I Heart SapphFic newsletter. They spotlight sapphic fiction and queer authors, and keep the lights on through user donations, author ads, but mostly Amazon Affiliate links. Well, turns out that Amazon has recently taken to removing queer books and books they guess are steamy from their Affiliate Program.

Amazon has also "suppressed their findability" as I found out via a newsletter from Lissette Marshall, a romantasy author. Lissette and several other romantasy authors made a charity anthology to fight book bans (the proceeds go to PEN America) in response to these changes at the Zon and other tech giants. The anthology, Romantasy Rebels, was banned twice by the Zon, and the second time, they terminated the KDP account of the author uploading it.

Not only was Romantasy Rebels unavailable a second time, but my good friend Vela Roth, who had volunteered to host the anthology on her account, lost her entire livelihood between one moment and the next.

Between you and me -- I don't think I've ever been so angry in my life.

The upside is that, as always, the bookish community stands up for each other! Thanks to friends with helpful connections, from Amazon reps to legal advice, we've managed to reverse the (unfounded) decision on their end and get Vela's books and our anthology back 🔥 (But my goodness, it was a long, long 24 hours that I hope to never experience again.)

Reading that and imagining myself in Vela's shoes, I feel indescribable. Anger, terror, and I don't know the words for what else. Vela Roth is in Kindle Unlimited, and she's a full-time romantasy author, which means her entire livelihood was on Amazon. And Amazon just deleted it all, just like that. I'm so relieved that the bookish community was able to help her and that her books and livelihood are reinstated now. Quoting Lissette again:

Amazon fuckery took down our charity anthology twice, and almost ended a wonderful author's career in the process. In addition to all else, the experience has been a frightening reminder of just how dependent indie authors are on a very small number of tech companies who don't particularly like spice, or marginalised people, or, you know, democracy.

So, yeah. That's what's going on. I feel better about having to unpublish Bloodhunt Academy now, because it was a queer book and Amazon is clearly not a home for it.

As for Romantasy Rebels, it's being sold wide (so it's on all the major ebook retailers, not just Amazon) and will be available until the end of the month. Proceeds will go to PEN America. There's also a charity auction organised by romantasy authors, called The Books They Can't Burn, and its proceeds will also go to PEN America. The charity auction has a variety of items that one can bid on, including ebook omnibuses, signed special editions, Zoom chats with authors, etc. I even saw a fight scene consult with a martial artist, how fun. It looks like several people are bidding on everything so I'm glad it's going well!

Current Mood: discontent

jake67jake

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Location: Baptist Hosp
Current Music: Closing ceremonies of Olympic

ofearthandstars

I finished Otherworldly, and I think by the end I loved it. My review is here.

I checked out Patchwork Dolls by Ysabelle Cheung from Libby and so far, am enjoying it immensely! The first story in the collection is a wonderful exploration of a brain fungus.

I am only on finishing book 7 this year, which means I'm 10% through my reading goal. I may be a little behind, but work has kept me busier in the evenings lately.

Last night we had a line of storms move through around 4 am. I know this because lightning struck somewhere very close around that time and the thunderous boom shook the windows and woke us. The dog then shivered and practically crawled underneath me for the next hour while the heavy rain continued. Thankfully, things calmed down after that, but I did not sleep as well as I would have liked due to the atmospheric rudeness.

adore

Was reading a fic and laughed out loud at it.

Am delighting myself writing Dollshops & Deathmages. I'm halfway done and happy with how it's shaping up.

Had an excellent peach kombucha to drink.

Have the house to myself for a glorious while, because my relatives are travelling.

Am enjoying a k-drama tremendously. Undercover Miss Hong. It's halfway aired, let's hope the rest of it is just as good. (You know those silly Hollywood action movies where there's a guy doing some kind of secret operation, and women who are in the narrative all have crushes on him, and he's too busy doing Important Stuff to notice? Imagine if it was the heroine doing stuff too Secret and Important to pay much mind to the men growing feelings for her, and you have Undercover Miss Hong. Trust k-drama to make something assuming *I* am watching the way other media industries make things assuming men are watching. And it features strong female friendships!)

Three out of the five things I have put down here are related to stories. 역시, whenever I'm happy, stories are usually at the heart of my happiness.

hafnia

What is my favorite place in the world?

God. Uh. Hmm.

I want to toss some far-flung locales on here, but I haven't been there in over twenty years and God only knows if they're still nice, so. I guess we'll go with the places I have known well and loved.

It's a toss-up between:

The Salt Lake City Public Library, at least as I remember it circa 2010 (which, God, was a long time ago...!) — I went to a bunch of poetry readings etc here and always loved it and felt very in my element whenever I was there, and the rooftop garden is super neat.

Cape Perpetua, because it's fucking beautiful.

Swan Lake, Montana, because I spent just about every childhood here from the time I was 4 to the time I was 14.

Mesa Verde, because it's just fucking cool.

SF MoMA, because I adore it and have a lot of great memories of visiting different exhibits there (for several years in a row I had business stuff that took me to San Francisco at least once if not twice a year, and I always hit up SF MoMA when I went).

Anyway yes, I am Indecisive, you are welcome :D

Profile

LJ Idol Presents: Idol Mini

January 2026

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
				1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29	30	31

The Audience

Member Posts

(no subject)

More pseudo-LEGOs

I will post about this again, but...

Friday Five Feelings Edition

Talking Meme Month - 27 and 28!

Eclectic Reviewer February Wrap-Up

Talking Meme Month - day 26

I now own this...

Morning Rage.

Talking Meme Month - day 25

German Anti-Trump Opera

Talking Meme Month - day 24

Talking Meme Month - day 23

And they're gone!

FEBRUARY 2026 ICONS MASTERPOST.

The Zon is up to more nonsense + romantasy authors resisting

Have I mentioned that I hate hospitals?

Books.

Good things recently

Talking Meme Month - day 21

Profile

January 2026

Links

The Wheel of Chaos Winner

In Memoriam

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags