Green Room - Week 26 - Day 4

[clauderainsrm.livejournal.com]

In case you missed the ground shaking last night, the results from the final Round Two came in: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/464364.html True to form, they managed to shake things up.

How much will be shaken up (or perhaps stirred, not enough things are stirred these days. Damn you Bond!) when our Top 17 take the stage? http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/462769.html Only time will tell.

***

I'm running low on time this morning - but I did want to start the ball rolling on some meta:

I "get" low self esteem. I get being humble and thinking you can do a better job. But if you are at this point - you are here for a reason.

People like your work.

When you are eliminated. That doesn't mean people have stopped liking your work either. With the sheer talent pool this season, that means someone got a few more butts in the seats for that particular entry. Which is fine, and it is how it works in the "real world" of publishing as well. Publishing, and pretty much every other aspect of life.

The number one thing is that you need to believe in yourself, and writing *for yourself*. Do you need to keep your audience in mind? Of course. Being able to find a successful fusion of those two concepts can separate someone struggling from someone successful at what they are doing. There are plenty of writers who can string together brilliant pieces and don't manage to find that level of connection that they need to have in order to get noticed, and stay noticed.

Comments

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

I shouldn't read yours until I post. Dang you for teasing me! Now I'm so curious!

I am the reverse...I put too much into wanting others (friends are included here). Honestly, I see it as such. I'm writing for the public. That is my goal. I'm not writing for just myself. I'm writing for the public and if the public doesn't like it, I've failed. I take it all too seriously, sure...but I never do anything half way. I hyperfocus and became hardcore about things I care about. So I do take it hard when people aren't responsive to something I've put so much effort into. But yeah, it's no secret I'm too hard on myself. With the good (my almost bootcamp level of motivation to do well, ambition, and not willing to let myself think I can't do something I put my mind to) comes the bad (the outright abusive language I use on myself to get where I want to be, the harsh criticism's of myself, etc).

[comedychick.livejournal.com]

LOL. You can read the friends only post I made a few hours ago linking all of my entries if you want to know the secret early without reading the entry itself ;)

I think it's hard for me to "get" why other people behave that way since it's so foreign from the way I am. Sure, I've probably had occasional spells of it, but they're rarer for me than they are you. I'm generally able to change my focus around, which makes it harder for me to understand why others can't. Though I do accept not everyone can be the same, even if I don't always understand it.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Haha I peeked :P and I figured it was an unofficial intersection, I just wasn't sure who!

Well I'm a dang stubborn person. I believe what I believe and have a hard time changing that. It's gotten me far in life when that something is good to be stubborn about...it holds me back in others that aren't so good.

[comedychick.livejournal.com]

haha, good guess!

Ahh, yes. A lot of good traits do have negative sides to them, too, unfortunately. Just like the whole confident vs. cocky thing ;)

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

There's no doubt a psychological reason for it as well as one's upbringing, I think. I can't speak for Pixie, of course, but with me...

:trying to think how to word this:

I was always unsure of myself growing up. My mother, in particular, was a hard-liner in that I was always expected to excel at everything I did. Whenever I fell short -- and hey, everyone does -- it was doubly shameful for me because not only did I disappoint myself, but I also disappointed her. She didn't take mistakes lightly. Cut to adulthood -- I'm standing on my own two feet, I have my own opinions, my likes/dislikes, but that drive to excel is still as strong as ever. Except this time around I'm not so much into disappointing my mother as I am disappointing myself because I expect myself to be better than everyone else, even though intellectually I know I'm not. And when I do disappoint myself, it's like walking into a firestorm.

Does that make any sense?

There are people who are more prone to this way of thinking than others...chemical/psychological makeup and all that.

[comedychick.livejournal.com]

If you recall this entry (http://comedychick.livejournal.com/500144.html) about my mum, you'll know I did experience a bit of that growing up myself. I have a crippling fear of failure. I honestly can't explain how I manage to work past that and do stuff for myself, that I want to do, despite that. I don't think there's really a logical explanation. I just do it. And I guess that's why I feel like other people should be able to do it too.

That doesn't mean I don't understand the underlying thoughts and not wanting to disappoint yourself. I totally get that.

[momebie.livejournal.com]

I think it's important to strike a balance if you're going to be writing for any audience for any amount of time. Write for yourself first. Write the types of things you enjoy and the types of things that make you passionate, because you'll take the most care with those. And then when you've settled on that, write with diligence. Dot your i's, cross your t's, and make it accessible to the audience you want. Not everyone is going to like everything, but most of the time if I've made my core audience happy, even if it's just one person, I'm pleased.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

I think you've nailed it. I have been pondering this all day and yes, I have to write what makes me happy or personally, I won't write it. I'm selfish like that...if it bores me, I don't do it unless I'm forced. I've had a handful of entries like that this season (where inspiration didn't strike and I just had to write), but for the most part, I only write things that are fun. This whole game is optional to me, I get enough boring work stuff at work...I'm not going to make Idol be like that. It's my fun zone. So ultimately, I write what I like.

But if everyone hates it? I failed at my second goal of writing for an audience. I'm here to write for people after all. I also want people to like me, so there's that bit too :)

[momebie.livejournal.com]

If everyone hates it you may have merely failed at finding or reading your audience, and not at writing the piece itself, which is an important distinction, I think.

Several years ago I wrote a bit of fic for a very small fandom. It was pretty self-indulgent in that I absolutely tortured one of my favorite characters (it's canon that he's tortured, I didn't do it on my own, though I have). I was very, very proud of this fic. Is it the best thing I've ever written? No. Could I do it better now? Maybe. But I did my research and I was careful with my portrayals and a couple people liked it just as much as I did. I don't think any strangers from the fandom actually commented on it, which means that I missed the audience target. And there are a lot of reasons that might have happened that don't have anything to do with me. It's a 13 year old fandom. Maybe at that point they just wanted things to be all adventure and happy jaunts into space. Maybe I came too late. But I was happy, and the other couple of people were happy, so I don't feel like I failed at all.

Honestly, most of this stuff is about our perceptions anyway, which are never hard lines, so failure is only a matter of tilting your head to the left.