Green Room - Week 26 - Day 4

[clauderainsrm.livejournal.com]

In case you missed the ground shaking last night, the results from the final Round Two came in: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/464364.html True to form, they managed to shake things up.

How much will be shaken up (or perhaps stirred, not enough things are stirred these days. Damn you Bond!) when our Top 17 take the stage? http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/462769.html Only time will tell.

***

I'm running low on time this morning - but I did want to start the ball rolling on some meta:

I "get" low self esteem. I get being humble and thinking you can do a better job. But if you are at this point - you are here for a reason.

People like your work.

When you are eliminated. That doesn't mean people have stopped liking your work either. With the sheer talent pool this season, that means someone got a few more butts in the seats for that particular entry. Which is fine, and it is how it works in the "real world" of publishing as well. Publishing, and pretty much every other aspect of life.

The number one thing is that you need to believe in yourself, and writing *for yourself*. Do you need to keep your audience in mind? Of course. Being able to find a successful fusion of those two concepts can separate someone struggling from someone successful at what they are doing. There are plenty of writers who can string together brilliant pieces and don't manage to find that level of connection that they need to have in order to get noticed, and stay noticed.

Comments

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

It is easy to fake online. I know I've fooled people even and trust me, I have absolutely no self esteem to speak of. I'm confident in some things though. I'm not a completely miserable self loathing person that I sometimes come off as either...but most of the time, I'm faking it.

I'm very open about talking about my issues. I know most people feel uncomfortable...but I have done some deep self analysis on myself and I understand how I work. It's others who don't always get me :p

[mstrobel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, my whole "I will write what I want and screw what everyone else thinks!" is pretty much a huge cover-up for the fact that I don't think anyone else will like it and I try not to let that bother me... lol. I guess have very little faith in myself, and I can't help but feel like each week there are a whole bunch of people watching the poll and going either "wtf is she still doing here?" or "who even IS that?"

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

First of all, you're amazing and totally kick butt in the polls for a reason. You shouldn't have to second guess your reason for being here. You rock <3

But I know that's easier said than done. I just find it sad that you don't see how adored you really are.

That whole "I write for myself" bit doesn't apply to me. I write for an audience. When I'm not doing well, people try to tell me it's not important because I'm writing for myself. No, I'm writing for the public. Them liking my writing is my goal. If they don't? I failed that week. I know we are human and screw up, that we each have different reasons for being here...but mine? It's to write for an audience and have them enjoy what I write. So yeah, I'm a bit hard on myself if I don't get positive feedback or I'm not doing well in the polls that week...

[comedychick.livejournal.com]

I just find it sad that you don't see how adored you really are.

No one has 100% of the voters voting for them, though. So even I kind of feel like everyone must have at least one person thinking the things mstrobel mentioned, about them. Just because you don't hear it doesn't mean they don't exist. No one publicly states whose entries they don't especially like, but we all have people we've felt that way about, don't we? Even if they've all been voted out by now, I'd bet everyone has at least one person they've thought those things about.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Every single person probably has someone that doesn't like them. Probably multiple people. That's life. I'm not saying everyone adores her, but that people do love and respect her, she's a wonderful writer. If anything, I adore and admire her. You'll never have everyone loving you. It's not possible. Trust me, I've tried :P

[mstrobel.livejournal.com]

Oh, SO much easier said than done! I dunno, I can't help but think it's some kind of crazy fluke... feel like this little kid who's snuck into the popular crowd and no one's yet realized that I don't belong, that I should still be in the sandpit or something XD

It's bizarre, but it is gratifying, and I do occasionally have moments of faith in myself!

I think my *not* writing for an audience thing comes from years of writing fanfiction and finding that my favorite pieces weren't always the most popular, because the fandom was SO geared towards one pairing - a well-written piece about another pairing would get barely a tenth the response a piece of tripe that catered to the masses would get. I went into that new, and terrified, and desperate to please... and came out thinking, screw you guys I'm writing what I want!

Of course I like it best when other people comment and like stuff. I would be gutted if something got no response at all, so I guess I can't say that I'm ONLY writing for myself. I know that there is an audience out there... it's just that I want to first and foremost make sure that I like a piece. And I hope that comes through, that it's visible when something was a joy to write and a wonderful experience, rather than being a forced slog.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

I guess I should say I'm not *not* writing for me. Some weeks when I'm stuck? Sure, maybe I don't. But I've been writing more pieces I enjoy this season than ever before. But I'll never give up and say I'm not writing for an audience either. I am. I'm trying to entertain, while also entertaining myself. I need both to be satisfied. I can't merely throw out a piece I love that everyone hates and feel good about it...and I'm also not happy when I throw out something I hated writing (Bats in the Belfry comes to mind, though I had good feedback on it...I didn't feel good about it. I was just stuck and out of ideas and forced to get something out there even if I wasn't feeling it).

So it's a combo of both...but I do rely heavily on what people thing to gauge my own strengths and weaknesses. I write for the public, their opinions matter to me too.

[mstrobel.livejournal.com]

I think, in years past, I have thrown out enough pieces I loved that others hated that I learned to care less about that ;) I'll be sad that no one else likes it of course but it won't make me like it any less.

Also, I have this thing that when I get an idea for a prompt... 99% of the time that's IT and I have to write it, and I literally can not think of any other ideas in any case - once that one is there, it takes over my brain and I have to see it through to the end, I can't change tack midway! So having three different ideas flitting around my head this week kind of drove me batshit insane, lol.