Green Room - Week 36 - Day 6

[clauderainsrm.livejournal.com]

You suck.

No, really, you do.

I know that it’s true, because I’ve read it from a reliable source: You!

I understand humility. I appreciate and value it. I do think that the person who ends up winning should have the ability to be humble. There’s nothing attractive about arrogance.

Confidence? Sure. Arrogance? No.

But there’s nothing attractive about self-deprecation either.

It’s insulting to the over 300 contestants you have fallen before you, many of them who would love to have a spot in the Top 7!

That also goes for anyone who would try to make someone feel bad about themselves because they made it to this point, and someone else didn’t.

Guess what? You can talk all you want – the bottom line is (insert name here) didn’t make it here and (insert other name here) did. That’s something to be celebrated.

I actually haven’t, personally, heard any of the latter example. Which is why there are still people breathing. Because if I did I would be shoving my foot so far up their deluded mouths that it would come out the end that things like that deserve to be coming out of…

But the former? The self-deprecation? I’ve been hearing far too much, from far too many corners.

I’ve also seen a few “well-meaning” folks encouraging it, and even trying to get people to knock themselves out of the running “for their own good”. I understand, it’s difficult to see someone else succeed. But that doesn’t mean you need to set them up to fail.

There’s a difference between setting realistic expectations and the ability to simply visualize something good happening.

I’m not saying that anyone should get focused on being THE WINNER. There are still six more contestants to get through after all! ;) And all of them are potentially worthy of that spot.
There is also a lot more to write: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/593207.html
(and work out: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/591795.html and when you are done with that, there’s always plenty of Home Game to go around: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/592005.html

If you do too much of that, you’re setting yourself up for a fall when you don’t achieve it. Because, there is a good chance that you won’t.

I’m simply saying, believe in yourself and that you could potentially win. Believe in each other – that they could potentially win.
If you do that, regardless of the vote totals- you have already won.

Comments

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

The less sleep I get and the more topics you assign, the more I believe in myself. Apparently, my response to stress is to become completely unreasonable. It's fun in here, though. :D

ALSO, FRIST! HAHAHAHAHA

Once more, with feeling

[ellakite.livejournal.com]

You're *DEAD* to me!

help yourself to a cookie.

[alien-infinity.livejournal.com]

FRIST!!! ^_^

[myrna-bird.livejournal.com]

Yay for Frist!

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

You're First! *boogies*

[ashgaelsonaria.livejournal.com]

Yes - but only on special occasions.
Oh wait you were talking about writing.
Well I admit that I suck at that too.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

A lot of deep thoughts there, that's for sure. I don't think I've really talked badly about myself overall? A bit stressed this week and worried about the quality of my writing with how busy I am, but I certainly don't think I'll be terrible. Just stressed a bit. And very tired. I've been neglecting sleep to finish my pieces so yeah, a bit sleepy over here :)

But hey, I've always wanted to make it to Hell Week, so while tough and stressful, I am proud to be here and know that being here is a privilege. And no one is forcing me to stay.... I could drop, sure, but I won't. Not that I'm really thinking about the winning spot (there are 6 others that I agree about deserving it), but I will aim to keep going for as long as I can. I forgot where I was going with this; my brain is tired.

But I have rough drafts of 4 of the 5 completely done, which surprises the heck out of me. I finished three last night. They're very rough, but that's what tonight is for. That and finishing the last one up, which I at least have an idea for now. Now if only today at work wasn't busy so I could write there... Though I know it won't be. Ugh.

But I'll get it all done somehow.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

It's going to be hard when it gets down to deciding between you and Java! =-P

[theun4givables.livejournal.com]

No one should be beating themselves up at this stage of the game. I say they all certainly deserve to have made it this far. :)

[sarcasmoqueen.livejournal.com]

I think it's human nature to be depreciating, unfortunately. But I'll say it - WAY TO GO TOP SEVEN! You all kick so much ass!!

(and I don't think I suck either, just because I'm not there, for the record, lol)

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You kick ass. :D

[kathrynrose.livejournal.com]

But there’s nothing attractive about self-deprecation either.

It’s insulting to the over 300 contestants you have fallen before you, many of them who would love to have a spot in the Top 7!

Word!


Because if I did I would be shoving my foot so far up their deluded mouths

Dude! Have some chamomile.


I’ve also seen a few “well-meaning” folks encouraging it, and even trying to get people to knock themselves out of the running “for their own good”.

wtf... do the same people also profess they aren't into the strategy aspect of the game at all?

[porn-this-way.livejournal.com]

Apparently this is the Jedi Mind Trick endgame strategy. "You do not want to compete in Idol. You want to go home and re-think your life."

[clauderainsrm.livejournal.com]

*looks at the 7 left*

Yeah, there's not a single one of them who should argue that they haven't also played a strong strategic game.

Not saying that they won't. Or that there aren't various ways to go about that, and that they were differently kinds of strategy, but it's a competitive bunch. :)

I'm not going to say it.

[ellakite.livejournal.com]

You all should be familiar with my self-depreciating nature by now. So you all know my knee-jerk reaction to Gary's initial statement.

I'm not blaming Gary for my reaction. This is entirely my issue, and I'm honestly trying not to be a killjoy.

So: As tempted as I am, I am *NOT* going to "say" what I am thinking… and I am working very hard at proving that my thoughts are wrong.

PS: All the best to the Top 7.

Re: I'm not going to say it.

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

It is my first impulse, always, to feel the same way. Like, I am pretty much high on sleep deprivation and ridiculousness right now, and the first thing I thought when I read Gary's post - want to know what it was?

HE MEANS ME. PEOPLE WONDER WHY I'M STILL IN THE GAME.

Of course the second thing I thought was this:

TOO BAD BECAUSE I AM STILL IN ANYWAY HAHAHAHAHAHA.

So yeah, maybe I'm getting better. :D

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

Word on the self-deprecstion :nodding: There's always a flavor of it every season, but it seems, to me, to be particularly ramped up this season.

On the one hand I think it's part human nature in that one tends to play down one's talent(s) (or whatever) in the name of not wanting to stick out. Because if you sick out, one is more liable to be cut down (aka the "tall poppy" syndrome).

On the other hand, continually talking about one's self deprecation tends to make one stick out. Maybe it's intentional, maybe it isn't, but sometimes I want to reach into the computer and gently shake people into realizing that there's a reason you got to [whatever], so STOP IT! Please believe in yourself because obviously others believe in you! I know it can be difficult to do so, but only you can find that place within yourself that will tell you that, yes, you deserve to be where you are!

FWIW I have the same reaction IRL.

Anyway....

Good Morning GR!

[alien-infinity.livejournal.com]

I'll admit, IRL my first reaction was to think actually, yeah, I really DO suck.

I'm trying to keep from acting on the impulse to put myself down, but that's HARD. :/ I am working on it, though.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

That's what I think a lot of people forget. When you're this low on yourself, it's hard to see yourself in a positive light. It's not a switch we can turn on or off just because someone tells us it's not true. It's ingrained in our Garda so deeply, we can't just say "Oh so and so says I'm good, so it must be true!"

If it only worked that way, life would be a heck of a lot easier. But that's just not the way it works.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

On self-deprecation, I think some people don't get how the minds of others work. We all don't have similar brains with similar life experiences. Im talking first hand about my own experiences, and people getting annoyed with me because "I won't listen to them" when they tell me I'm good at something or I don't suck.

I've been living with a brain that has been mean to me for 29 years. I see things differently. Someone telling me I'm wrong about how I feel, and insisting that I suddenly feel good about myself has the opposite effect. Mithras fights back. It makes excuses. It sees things others are willing to overlook when they're looking at me.

It's not a switch that can be shut off whenever someone tells me otherwise. My opinion of myself matters most of all, and until I can change that... Yeah, your opinion will be great and awesome and make me feel good for a minute, but it doesn't suddenly switch my brain into liking myself.

That part? That has to come from within. And if you think that's easy.. Well it's not. I've been in therapy for a year now and while I'm getting better, I still have a long way to go before I like myself.

That being said, I do feel it's awesome to be in the Top 7 and I do think I deserve to be here because I've seen the support come from all over and I've only recently had to start promoting myself. That makes me feel good and I'd never say "I don't deserve to be here" because that's a lie. I'm here. I deserve it. I'll own it.

See? Getting better :)

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

And there you go!
;)

That part? That has to come fro within. And if you think that's easy.. Well it's not.

:nodding: I still have my moments, but it's taken me a very long time to realize that it's OK to pat myself on the back and that I don't need to second guess myself every single time I put "whatever" out there ("whatever being from an Idol entry to something at work to...well, whatever). I'd be lying if I said therapy didn't help because it certainly did, but it wasn't the only ingredient.

:trying to think of a way to word this:

I think there comes a point in everyone's life when the self-deprecation switch either turns off or you learn to modulate it like a dimmer switch. Maybe age has something to do with it, maybe reaching the point where you're comfortable in your own skin -- that's the part I'm having trouble wording because I'm not sure when it happens because it has to be different for everybody. For instance, it's only in the last few years I've felt like I'm truly hitting my stride in many areas. Sure, I'm better at some things than I am at others, but for some reason I don't let the latter affect me as much as I would have let it years ago. I can't tell you why this is. I can only tell you how freeing it feels, though, not to be so caught up in self-examination, self-deprecating mode. I don't obsess about it very much. Whatever will be, wlll be. Now maybe that's a bit of self-deprecation for all I know!

[whipchick.livejournal.com]

Some days I'm so thankful I don't have much time in the Green Room - every now and then I see something and go, huh, there was controversy? Hope it was fun!

[kathrynrose.livejournal.com]

This is less controversy, and more group therapy session. :)

We haven't had a fun controversy in ages.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

I wish I'd gotten further in the game (at least ONE MORE WEEK) but I support everyone who has made it this far - y'all are awesome! *Group Hugs*

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

But just think -- you'll be the first 100-Weeker next season!

[teenagewitch.livejournal.com]

Honestly its easy to get down on yourself for not making it very far. I personally love the entries that have been submitted by our top seven but at the same time, I read them and I think "your right Gary, I suck, my writing will never be at the caliber of these guys", then I wonder why I even attempt to write anything. However, that's my self-doubt and I would NEVER put that on anyone else.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

You know, I've been there and I get like that too. I still read entries by others here and go "wow. I'll never be that good."

But you know what's awesome about writing? It's a skill. The more you practice and push yourself and see what you like that others are doing... The better you'll get. I'm not sure if you remember my season 6 entries, the early ones? Yeah.... Not very good.

Writing isn't one of those things you either have or you don't. Some people start out with a natural gift, others work harder, but it's not a race... You have all the time in the world to still get as good as you want to be.

I'm always willing to offer content editing, advice, anything.... I love doing that sort of thing. I've sought it out and it has seriously improved my writing from Season 6 until now. Even my creativity has grown, my ideas are more unique. All from practice.

*hugs* I think you have what it takes to be a very awesome writer, but like I've done for so long... I've left my lack of confidence hold me back.

[kathrynrose.livejournal.com]

Well, now I've started but not finished 3 HG entries this week, and it's starting to get hot in my house again, so...

[lilycobalt.livejournal.com]

To the Top 7: I think you are all fantastic. I know you can do this. I have absolutely no idea who I will vote for when it's time to choose the winner!

The thing is that when I look at the writing I did this season and the writing I continue to do for the Home Game, I don't think that I sucked. Some of what I did sucked, but I like some of it a lot. But I do think that I choked this season, and I still haven't forgiven myself for it.

[sweeny-todd.livejournal.com]

I enjoy what the idol peepz are putting out. I think the top 7 are awesome, and I think there is still some great stuff in the homegame (not to detract from our wonderful top 7!!!)

Self deprecation... I think it is a reflection of everything else. Stress levels, overwhelm, tiredness etc. I hadn't seen any, but I am also really MIA at the moment (what's that? real life shizzle???)

As for my writing? You know, I had a great time this season. I wrote some funny stuff, and have made some new friends, and have gotten to read some great stuff. (full disclosure: I like reading). So yeah - well done everyone *chucks glitter around generally*

now off to *actually* do some hirigana study (unless someone wants to distract me.....)