Green Room - Week 11 - Day 8
Aug. 9th, 2013 09:49 amA couple of weeks ago, there was a report that George Zimmerman helped some people who were in a car accident. Stop rolling your eyes, and bear with me, as usual, I’m going somewhere with this.
The internet almost instantly divided itself between “OMG, WHAT A HERO!” and “HE KILLED TRAYVON! HE IS A MONSTER AND THIS IS SOME SORT OF PR STUNT!”. It came down pretty much along political lines.
Now, the truth of the matter is something still very much in dispute in some circles, and we may never really know what he did, or why he did it.
But maybe that’s not the point. The facts don’t really matter a lot when you break it down to the gist of “People make some really bad decisions, and sometimes those same ones can make very good ones” – that no one is completely one way or the other – and that maybe caricatures are just that, exaggerated viewpoints that have little to do with the actual person.
These are things that you can talk about. But you put the “Zimmerman” name in there, and the whole conversation shifts into something else entirely.
Which is why I didn’t mention the specifics in my post yesterday. Because chances are, you’ve heard of the story I was talking about. You have an opinion. You didn’t know she was a former Idol contestant. But you either know about her post that went viral – or you’ve seen the stuff that came out after, with her and her life being picked apart on Reddit and dozens of other social media sites.
Some people seemed to miss the bigger point of making that post – that the details *didn’t matter*. I excluded them because there doesn’t need to be another post about the subject. I’ve seen more than enough.
But what I *don’t* see is the idea that a “history of mental illness” DOES NOT EQUAL lying. Heck, from what I’ve seen and/or heard, there are people who scanned what I said and came away thinking that I said just the opposite!
So, I’ll repeat it: Does NOT equal.
Dealing with depression is bad enough without people dragging it all over the internet because you chose to talk about something important to you.
Talking about THAT doesn’t require the details. But considering that I had emails asking me if I *was* going to say something about the subject, I figured that I should at least tell you where my head was at, and why I was suddenly bringing up the subject.
I’m quite sure everyone reading this knows someone who has a “dramatic” life. Things are always happening to them, and at some point you wonder “Why are all of these really bad things happening to them????”
There is usually someone who steps up and “calls BS” on it – saying that they are just making up stuff to get sympathy.
You know what? Sometimes they are. I’ve certainly seen a few of them.
Sometimes they aren’t though. I’d wager the vast majority of times people *aren’t* just “making things up”! Bad stuff can, and does, happen to people. Jumping to the conclusion that someone is lying about an event they are reporting because they have a history of mental illness is akin to saying that someone wasn’t “actually raped” because they have had sex before. The logic just doesn’t hold.
More importantly – it doesn’t matter what the “facts” are. Which is the real story. It’s the only real detail that you (or anyone else) need to have – that people are complex, and regardless of what you *think* you know, if someone is reaching out for support, they probably need it.
It’s NOT “drama” to talk about these things, or to allude to a “developing situation”. It’s nothing that is currently happening in Idol. But rather something that is happening *to* someone who once participated, and as such, is part of our extended family. Which is why it “matters”, and why I need to address it.
I’m not interested in the breaking down of if you believe her or not. In fact, I’d rather avoid that, because it’s taking quite a bit out of me to NOT waltz into some of these sites and start breaking heads. If someone were to decide that they had a negative opinion around *here*, yeah, I’m not sure that I could contain that impulse. Which I don’t want… because those people folks talk about the internet, they are more than just a couple 0s and 1s. There are actual people on the other ends of those interconnected tubes.
Just remember that, and act accordingly.
***
There is a poll that is happening – so act accordingly on that as well: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/682110.html
***
I now return you to your regularly scheduled posting pictures of your cats, already in progress...
The internet almost instantly divided itself between “OMG, WHAT A HERO!” and “HE KILLED TRAYVON! HE IS A MONSTER AND THIS IS SOME SORT OF PR STUNT!”. It came down pretty much along political lines.
Now, the truth of the matter is something still very much in dispute in some circles, and we may never really know what he did, or why he did it.
But maybe that’s not the point. The facts don’t really matter a lot when you break it down to the gist of “People make some really bad decisions, and sometimes those same ones can make very good ones” – that no one is completely one way or the other – and that maybe caricatures are just that, exaggerated viewpoints that have little to do with the actual person.
These are things that you can talk about. But you put the “Zimmerman” name in there, and the whole conversation shifts into something else entirely.
Which is why I didn’t mention the specifics in my post yesterday. Because chances are, you’ve heard of the story I was talking about. You have an opinion. You didn’t know she was a former Idol contestant. But you either know about her post that went viral – or you’ve seen the stuff that came out after, with her and her life being picked apart on Reddit and dozens of other social media sites.
Some people seemed to miss the bigger point of making that post – that the details *didn’t matter*. I excluded them because there doesn’t need to be another post about the subject. I’ve seen more than enough.
But what I *don’t* see is the idea that a “history of mental illness” DOES NOT EQUAL lying. Heck, from what I’ve seen and/or heard, there are people who scanned what I said and came away thinking that I said just the opposite!
So, I’ll repeat it: Does NOT equal.
Dealing with depression is bad enough without people dragging it all over the internet because you chose to talk about something important to you.
Talking about THAT doesn’t require the details. But considering that I had emails asking me if I *was* going to say something about the subject, I figured that I should at least tell you where my head was at, and why I was suddenly bringing up the subject.
I’m quite sure everyone reading this knows someone who has a “dramatic” life. Things are always happening to them, and at some point you wonder “Why are all of these really bad things happening to them????”
There is usually someone who steps up and “calls BS” on it – saying that they are just making up stuff to get sympathy.
You know what? Sometimes they are. I’ve certainly seen a few of them.
Sometimes they aren’t though. I’d wager the vast majority of times people *aren’t* just “making things up”! Bad stuff can, and does, happen to people. Jumping to the conclusion that someone is lying about an event they are reporting because they have a history of mental illness is akin to saying that someone wasn’t “actually raped” because they have had sex before. The logic just doesn’t hold.
More importantly – it doesn’t matter what the “facts” are. Which is the real story. It’s the only real detail that you (or anyone else) need to have – that people are complex, and regardless of what you *think* you know, if someone is reaching out for support, they probably need it.
It’s NOT “drama” to talk about these things, or to allude to a “developing situation”. It’s nothing that is currently happening in Idol. But rather something that is happening *to* someone who once participated, and as such, is part of our extended family. Which is why it “matters”, and why I need to address it.
I’m not interested in the breaking down of if you believe her or not. In fact, I’d rather avoid that, because it’s taking quite a bit out of me to NOT waltz into some of these sites and start breaking heads. If someone were to decide that they had a negative opinion around *here*, yeah, I’m not sure that I could contain that impulse. Which I don’t want… because those people folks talk about the internet, they are more than just a couple 0s and 1s. There are actual people on the other ends of those interconnected tubes.
Just remember that, and act accordingly.
***
There is a poll that is happening – so act accordingly on that as well: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/682110.html
***
I now return you to your regularly scheduled posting pictures of your cats, already in progress...
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 02:22 pm (UTC)::hugs you:: because it sounds like you need one.
::kicks you:: just to set things right again.
ETA - First! Mu-hahhahhahahaha
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 02:32 pm (UTC)Also, I was downloading a coupon for a free bag of Cheetos when the GR got posted, and FREE Cheetos is much better than an illusory First! :)
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 02:33 pm (UTC)About anything.
An entire communtiy of wallflowers without much to say about anything.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 03:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 02:33 pm (UTC)But FREE Cheetos coupon from my local supermarket = WIN!
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 02:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 02:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 02:46 pm (UTC)Bubbles the super dignified
Stranger who is just plain super
(I'm trying to make sure these kitties don't just show up and asplode the GR formatting. It is being pesky. Apologies for many edits.
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 02:56 pm (UTC)Also, clearly your cats are over-stressed. They should learn to relax a little. :)
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 03:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 06:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 03:07 pm (UTC)Hey,..... Topic switch..... Wish me luck! I have a job interview in a few. It's for a big girl teacher job. Not just lowly subbing. I have no idea what my chances are on this.
AW
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 03:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 03:23 pm (UTC)Right. Muesli, cricket, bed.
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 03:28 pm (UTC)I also have my own rl drama going on and that's more then I need already.
I have a couple of things posted but only one is prompt based.
TTFN
A.
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 03:35 pm (UTC)But I could post pictures of my rugrats! :)
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 06:39 pm (UTC)And as an aside, as I read the random comments in the green rooms over the years, I've seen a change in how it feels sometimes. Waaaaay back in the day, there was far less mention of drama. Less snark. Then again, Idol was not the beast it is today. And Gary was a much nicer person then he is today.
Ok, keeping a straight face for that last part just about killed me. He was just as mean and ornery (Spellcheck wanted to change that to ovary. Take from that what you will...) as he is today.
I love watching y'all interact. You truly are this huge, wonderful, sometimes cantankerous family. :) Though I'll admit, after seeing the various comments referring to drama, plots, snark, etc.. I'm glad I've been a lurker/voter all these years, and not a contestant. It lets me enjoy all the wonderful parts of it, and be oblivious to its darker, seamier underside.
(This may be my longest comment in a GR ever)
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 07:00 pm (UTC)I'd agree that there was less mention of drama and snark - but it was there. Two of the three finalists in Season 1 *hated* each other! Several members of the top 5 or so of Season 2 felt the same.
Season 3 was the first "explosion" in Idol of a lot of people that I didn't know, which increased the amount of folks bumping up against each other.
Ultimately though, I think that - compared to the rest of the internet - that Idol is a good place to be. You should definitely sign up for Season 9. Just to say you did! :)
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 07:36 pm (UTC)But I will say that there are people on my f-list and people I have actually known who have more than their share of bad luck. Two of them are just the sweetest people imaginable, but the RL guy I knew did not, for instance, negligently cause his car engine to catch on fire while towing his mother's car to the mechanic (and this was just one of so many unusual and unfortunate things that happened to him). The Internet friend is not living on the financial edge by choice but rather because of a combination of painful auto-immune diseases and helping too many other family members who also don't have money. She's as frugal as they come, and so generous, but really... she's so busy trying to keep her head above water that she can't "get ahead."
It doesn't mean she's channeling drama or any of those things. It just means that life is far more unfair to her than she deserves. How she stays so optimistic is beyond me, but it's part of her sweetness. The unfairness of it kills me. :(
Okay, now I'm all gloomy and work is sucking and flailing badly, so I need to go look at
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 07:52 pm (UTC)Regardless, it isn't my place to call fowl, or accuse someone of lying. I just don't have all of the facts. I hope the situation is properly resolved with as little heartache as possible.
I guess more attention has been drawn to the amber alert that went off a couple of days ago, and so the story mentioned here in GR has only been on the periphery by comparison. It sounds like they may have found the abductor too, or else CNN is jumping the gun.
Totally unrelated- it was mentioned in discussion last week sometime, but a former LJer whom many here were friends with died less than a month ago. If anyone is interested, there is a memorial page, and his father has posted news about the lives he saved as a registered donor.
Also unrelated, I saw the president drive by a couple days ago. It was really cool, and a complete stroke of luck on my part.
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 07:56 pm (UTC)I didn't see that the found the abuctor! I'll have to check that out. Thanks for the heads up. I was listening to a story on NPR about the new Amber Alert system for cell phones this morning.
Send me a link to that memorial page. I'll post it tomorrow/in the next couple of days, if you don't mind. Leaving a legacy is important, and spreading the word about that legacy is the least I can do.
You saw the President drive by? That's awesome! I saw Clinton drive by before, a motorcade is something you dont' forget!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 08:02 pm (UTC)If this is someone I don't know and/or have been in touch with, well... Cthulhu, etc.
No matter what the circumstances are, or who you are dealing with, Wheaton's Law (DBAD) always applies.
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 10:23 pm (UTC)I joke sometimes about being a collection of pixels or a sequence of digits living inside a computer, but I am painfully aware that there are people on the other end of all these screen names (hopefully anyway! If not, then we're in some trouble because either the machines or the insects are WAY smarter than they ought to be. Or maybe it's the cats. Anyway, I digress).
And to tell you the truth, I am scared to death of Drama On The Internet. I have a fairly unique first name, I choose relatively unique screen names (often which ARE my real first name), I have been on teh internets since I was a teenager, and I just cringe thinking "what would people dig up about me? Who would they contact? What would they say? What embarrassing or exaggerated or hurtful things would they pull up and demand I prove or disprove or whatever?" Could I handle being called a liar if I'm unable or unwilling to prove stuff I've said online? Would I have grace under pressure? I doubt it.
People can get into a mob mentality super easily online, and it doesn't take much to push some folks into that. Gain some measure of popularity? You could be subjected to it. Say something controversial? Yep, that could do it. There are a lot of ways that sort of unwanted focus can happen. And I am really, really shy.
So, for the idoler and anyone else out there, whoever they may be, who is having a hard time of it right now because some portion of the internet has morphed mayfly attention into laser beam focus: dude, that sucks. I'm really, really sorry that this is even a thing. It's a terrible aspect of psychology enabled and amplified by technology in terrible ways. Sympathy, and respect.
no subject
Date: 2013-08-10 01:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 10:24 pm (UTC)Miscommunication and misunderstandings happen - they get clarified, and life goes on. And I think the point that was made\clarified here is a good one. Just because someone has struggled with mental illness in the past or is still struggling now doesn't mean they're a wackadoodle batshit liar for whom reality is naught but a distance acquaintance. Sure, some people make shit up, and some people are compulsive liars or professional martyrs. There's plenty to be said for the dangers of crying wolf and the insight that can be gained from noticing certain patterns of behavior from specific individuals, and I do think it's fair to call BS on someone who's been caught lying their ass off on multiple occasions, regularly manipulating people for sympathy points, or whatever the hell else. But. If the only "evidence" against someone is "oh, they're in therapy and\or clinically depressed, therefore we can't trust anything they say"...that's not evidence, that's a stigma and a stereotype and it's complete and total BS.
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 10:45 pm (UTC)This is Zoey. She now lives in Seattle.
Did I mention that Bubbles used to be TINY? It's crazy, yo. She just celebrated her second birthday.
Here Stranger asks "why the hell aren't you petting me?"
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 10:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-10 12:03 am (UTC)Hellllloooo...
:listens for crickets:
no subject
Date: 2013-08-10 12:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-10 02:40 am (UTC)Don't worry, only half of those are mine :p
edit: wtf huge ass image. Begone!
no subject
Date: 2013-08-10 02:55 am (UTC)#inquiringMinds
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2013-08-10 02:52 am (UTC)(Am I the only one who gets really stressed out by these sort of "there is something going on but I won't say what" posts? I mean, not just Gary's, but in general? I spent years getting jerked around by someone's cryptic LJ posts and now it makes me really anxious.)
Anyway, here's a picture of my cat, Moses.
As you can see, Moses is very handsome and dignified (http://meepalicious.livejournal.com/pics/catalog/3994/245115).
no subject
Date: 2013-08-10 03:00 am (UTC)And this reminds me of my favorite cat video. I watch it whenever I need a laugh, because I laugh every time. Goofy cat.
(no subject)
From: