Green Room - Week 10 - Day 6

[clauderainsrm.livejournal.com]

Imagine that this is a blacked out space with a link to information about the dangers of SOPA.

There are enough of them everywhere else on the internet, so I don't think it's all that difficult for you to imagine!

Just picture one more. There, now I can actually post a Green Room while you are busy imagining the one that I didn't post.

***

I judge people.

All the time.

Not by anything other than the content of their character. As seen by me. Which, is a limited sample, but is really all I have to go by. But when dealing with people on the internet, "content of their character" is often the only piece of information you have in front of you.

There are people out there in Internetland who are hailed as saints, who I think are completely phony asshats. Because that is who they were when I encountered them.

There are others who may be auditioning for The Next Top Troll, who because I never got anything other than positive things from them, I think are A-OK.

It's about deciding who you want to be, and being it. And no one is going to succeed at that every single moment. But then, I don't have every single free moment of my time to watch your every move and decide how I feel about you. I'm going to go by what I see when we encounter each other, and form opinions from there.

I'll freely admit that, over the years of running Idol, there have been people that I have simply found to be top-notched. Folks that I was proud to know.

There have been others who have been asshats, who I would rather not know.

There have been people who are asshats, but I understand why they are. . . and may only be that way under circumstances.

There are good people who turn into sanctimonious pricks the moment they think they have an advantage. There are people that I originally didn't care for who turn out to, when the chips are down, have a really good heart and general perspective - and of course the sweet hearts who turn into jackasses the moment they are eliminated, or things don't go their way.

Stress does things to do you.

Survivor has been called the "ultimate truth serum". I think Idol has a way of bringing out that same aspect. You can hide who you are, for a little bit. But not forever. Obviously these are all part of their personalities. Maybe not the most pretty parts. But part of them nevertheless.

Conflict is going to happen. It's a fact of life. Regardless of where you are. I expect most adults are capable of figuring it out on their own. (at least when it's two contestants... when it's a contestant and a non-contestant, that's a different story! ;) )

Which isn't to say that I haven't judged everyone involved, and come to my own conclusions. ;) I probably have. I just trust you to be able to sort through it. I hope that trust is not misplaced.

***

The one thing that can never be misplaced is the link to Week 10's voting! http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/517954.html

Comments

[tigrkittn.livejournal.com]

Good morning, Green Room! I'm on my way to bed now. Maybe by the time I get up we'll have figured out what Gary's little rant was about - or does everyone else know and I just missed the drama??

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

You're FIRST!!!!

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

First?!? Second!

I should be in bed. However, I woke up a little while ago from a 3-hour nap underneath my fluffy comfy electric lap robe and missed all the TV shows I'd wanted to watch!

[sweeny-todd.livejournal.com]

I am so out of the loop TV wise at the moment - but I manage my weekly anime, so that is all good. :-D

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

I'm not a fan of conflict, or asshattery.

I'll be over here in my pretty little bubble if anyone wants to chat.

Actually, now that I look at the time, I'll be heading off to bed very soon, which is its own pretty little bubble. G'night, greenies! :)

[sweeny-todd.livejournal.com]

I stress out a bit over conflict... even about things that are stressful! (such as asking for a contract extension... oh dear oh dear... don't think I will end up asking!)

*ahem*

anyway!

point being I also am not a fna of conflict :-)

[sweeny-todd.livejournal.com]

Ia m about to leave work for the day!!!! the earliest I have left in an age (5.30pm). so happy *tears of joy*

If idol shows who you really are... then I must be really funny :-) (at least, I hope I am! :-D)

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

If idol shows who I really am, I hope people think I'm funny after the attempts I've made this season!

[kickthehobbit.livejournal.com]

...if Idol shows who you really are, then I need to stop moping, I guess?

(I don't mope much off LJ, which is why looking back on my Idol entries I'm surprised to see how mopey they are.)

[snack-size.livejournal.com]

I think moping on the Internet is just fine. :) Better to do it here than in real life, right?

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Oh noes. A late GR I can play in... Just as I was going to bed.

I have stuff I could add... But I think Gary nailed it. I have no bad opinions about anyone involved, believe it or not. I'm pretty good about not judging people based on a glimpse and I like to give the benefit of the doubt to most people (look at my ex, perfect example of where that was a bad thing).

That being said, I'm sure there were people who thought I was trouble for things I did and people I hung around early on. I'm sure there's people who think that even now. I realize that every little thing I do is up for interpretation both in RL and online. It makes me paranoid, really. I hate when things get misinterpreted (and it happens a lot with me since I just don't understand most social norms. I may be almost 30, but I may as well be a dumb, shy teenager who doesn't think before they speak). It's likely why I tend to overlook a lot of things in others.

I really just like everyone. Well everyone who isn't a complete asshat to me or a loved one personally. Then I tend to get vicious. Again, talk to my ex about that :P

In happier news, I think I found an awesome job posting I'm qualified for in urban planning (which is the part if my degree I actually like) that's nearby and pays a lot more than my current job. I hadn't expected it... But I'm keeping my fingers crossed this could work out.

So much for going to bed before 11 pm. Thanks Gary :)

[spydielives.livejournal.com]

2am...local and I am just now thinking bed. sheeh.

(and oh-so-happy that I have el-zippo-idea of what's going on meta wise after so many seasons of being tied to the post)

eta er... sorry for replying to you and not the GR at large... my fingers slipped.

which is why i have to go to bed now, ya see...

[wookiewife.livejournal.com]

GR, today was no bueno, all because of asshats. I sincerely hope that tomorrow is better because, honestly, I don't think I can restrain myself if another asshat crosses my path.

I feel as though kittens would help this situation, but I don't like cats, so I'm not sure what to do.

Voting, must get my votes in, yes yes.

(And oh-ho! I still have the appropriate icon!)

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

Cool icon indeed!

Is this an appropriate (big) cat icon? :)

[liret.livejournal.com]

I wonder if the reason the polls won't register my votes because they're protesting SOPA? If so, they started a day too early.

Also, Idol has not yet reveled that I am, in fact, a highly advanced computer program. I mean, hardly anyone has guessed!

[ecosopher.livejournal.com]

I'm fond of computer programmes :)

[ecosopher.livejournal.com]

I know you don't like me Gary. After all, I'm both a foreigner and a hippie, so what hope is there for me?

Anyway, I hope the conflict goes away as quickly as it

It's really hot here today. There was the chance of a thunderstorm which always makes me excited unless there is no thunderstorm, like today, and then I feel let down :(

Good news? It's stone-fruit season! Yum! Plums!

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

Damn hippies. :-p

[mstrobel.livejournal.com]

...I feel like I've missed something.

*goes back to working on rewriting novel*

[theafaye.livejournal.com]

And that's why there are very few people on the internet whose opinion matters to me...

Philosophy first thing in the morning - I haven't even had my tea! Far too heavy for this bear of little brain.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

And that's why the idea of having few opinions that matter is a good thing. I'm working on that one myself ;)

[poppetawoppet.livejournal.com]

IAWTC

Having been in the middle of fandom wank, and having friends on both sides of the issue who have both acted like immature teenagers in some respects, but been absolutely lovely in others, it's frustrating at times. Because I've seen the good side of these people, and I wish it would come out more.

That said, there are days I wonder how I'm perceived in my actions (I know on Twitter I come across as much younger and immature, but for me for you, that's the point of Twitter?)

I'm babysitting today, so let's see how much reading I get done

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Apparently I come off as much younger too... Someone just told me yesterday that they thought I was younger because of my personality online. I think that's interesting :)

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

Whoa whoa WHOA. I missed a lot yesterday, apparently.

I have a question, you guys. Is it considered poor form to ask questions if you don't understand someone's concrit? I don't mean a situation where you don't agree with it, just one where you don't understand what they're getting at (and want to). I don't want to come off as an ass, and I think maybe I am doing so.

Other than that, all I can say is WAH. My baby slept through the night for the first time ever over the weekend, then did it again 2 more nights in a row. Unfortunately, my husband was on call, so I only got to sleep through the night ONE of those nights. And how he is back to waking up twice a night. :-p

[poppetawoppet.livejournal.com]

I think it's totally appropriate to ask someone to clarify what they mean

[fizz.livejournal.com]

I don't tend to worry about how lj-idol (or anyone on the internet for that matter) sees me. Sometimes I think it's easier to 'be yourself' online; especially if none/few of the people you know offline can see your journal or writing or online persona.

I think offline, we worry so much about how people do see us and whether we're 'good enough' that online is a place to escape.

Like, for me, with my writing, I am so nervous of people seeing it (aside from educational situations), that to be able to share it through something like lj-idol, where you can't see the other person's face as they're reading it. That to me is something special. That you can connect with people in ways you can't necessarily face to face.

There's no etiquette or social chit-chat, it's just straight there for other people to read and comment on if they wish. And sometimes you can touch a stranger's heart, or read something from someone else and think "Wow, that person is inspirational/honest/brave/etc".

I think I went off on a tangent there and my thought train got a bit wonky, but hopefully you got what I was trying to say.

Hmm, my uni assignment later is going to be fun. I don't even feel like I'm typing coherently :P

[sra33.livejournal.com]

It's easier to get away on the interwebs. We don't have to work together.. And while sometimes our social circles might run together, we're not just going to happen upon one another at the store unexpected. So it's easier to be yourself and go "Don't like it? Don't visit my journal! Bye!" than to attempt that in real life.

And ugh I agree with you about watching people read your stuff. It's awful and nerve wracking on both ends! I always feel like going "here" then running away or start playing solitaire on my phone hahaha

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

Hello there, GR. Wow, I guess I missed some LJI internal conflict or other. Sorry I've been so quiet, I'm traveling for work most of this week. I hope everyone has a splendid day.

Dan

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

It's about a comment thread on diagenou's post, apparently. I missed it, too.

[sra33.livejournal.com]

My problem is when people assume someone's being a jackass when all they're doing is pointing out the truth. People just can't handle the truth sometimes and/or they can't hold intelligent debate about what their stance is on any given issue, so they get all self-defensive and immediately call the other person out as an asshole.

Hey so nobody's perfect, but I go back to the character Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory, and he'll say things that people will say "man, what a jerk" but he's just throwing out what he's seeing and interpreting at that time. It might not be socially appropriate, and it doesn't earn him many friends, but who wants to hide yourself to be buddies with everyone?

I just wish people would all be a little more honest and forthcoming with each other, even if it might make you seem "mean".

Also, my phone is making me an incredibly sad panda, (not sending or receiving ANY calls, and very few texts) and I'm going to try my hardest to have it fixed. I don't know what I'm going to do if it's still buggy during my trip :(

[sra33.livejournal.com]

P.S. this has absolutely nothing to do with any thread on any entry, I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten there yet...

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

I didn't fall asleep until almost 4AM. I just woke up. I now definitely have no heat. It's probably 20F in here.

Two things this meta upon meta brought up for me:

1. Gary is correct -- people tend to perceive you through your words on the internets. IMO I think it's moreso in a social setting like here, for instance, than it is in a piece of writing. A piece of writing can be edited. What you say off the cuff can't in that you can backtrack/apologize/whatever, but your initial reaction still stands.

2. We all jump to conclusions at one time or another. Sometimes we do with without having all the facts. Sometimes those facts are omitted for numerous reasons. When we jump to conclusions, we tend to judge, especially if what we're judging is something near and dear to us. It's a rational response, but it can go haywire.

One thing I've always loved about Idol is the underlying study of human behavior. It's just like Survivor in that instance. Gary illustrated it better than I ever could.

You can edit a piece of writing until it's picture-perfect and "pretty". The issue I've always had with that -- especially in Idol -- I could be reading it and think it's great on technical merit and/or illustrates the prompt and/or is wildly creative, but it may leave me empty if I don't know the person behind it. We're not writing books right here right now. We're playing a game. I want to get to know people. I realize some don't like socializing or they can't socialize because of work or whatever (I'm one of those when I'm not here), but when you come right down to it...how else are you going to get to know people? But that's just me.

I need to make coffee and plug in my yummy electric lap robe, so I'll step off my soapbox.

[spydielives.livejournal.com]

I have to say I absolutely miss the social aspects of Idol, and of LJ as a whole.

I have met some absolutely beautiful, fabulous people through this medium. I've gone on road trips, driving over a thousand miles in rental cars, to meet face-to-face as many as wanted to in a single trip.

I've cried over entries, I've ranted with the best. I've judged. I've been judged. I've misjudged. I've been taken in by deliberate misrepresentations.

It happens.

I've more to say, but medical appointments await.

(edited for spelling)

[rt-sparrow.livejournal.com]

Regardless of skill level of the parties involved in any interaction on the internet, there is what the writer meant by what they wrote in a post or a comment, and what the reader interprets the writer's meaning to have been. Those two things are never going to be exactly the same. The interpretation is always going to be filtered through the reader's life experience. And without knowing the writer's offline life experience, the reader doesn't have the information to adjust that interpretation.

Even when the topic of discussion is completely without controversy, the reader will hear his/her own voice -- literally, because most people subvocalize while they are reading -- and this will be colored by caffeine level and whether the reader's kid/cat/boss/significant other has been sweet to them or pissed in their cornflakes that morning.

When the subject matter is emotional, or it touches our buttons, it is much more volitile. So, it's not surprising that in a forum like LJ Idol, where people are writing about their personal experiences in their own journals and putting those writings out there for public consumption, that once or twice a season something is going to explode. And when that happens, it doesn't mean anyone has been an asshole, or that any trolling or flaming has taken place, beyond the perception of the people involved.

And for the people caught up in it, it is personal and emotional and a big damned deal, and for the people who are not, it just isn't. And from the middle of it, it's impossible to understand why people don't get it or don't care the way they do. And it hurts. And people will deal with it the way people deal with emotionally painful situations.

And then it becomes a piece of history, and people go back to celebrating firsts and baking cookies and watching polls. This is the life of LJ Idol.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

I think you have a very good point here. We do put so much of ourselves into our writing here, it often goes very personal and deep. When people judge our pieces, it feels like they are judging us as a person. It's one reason I struggle with emotional pieces. I don't want people (not just Idol people) seeing the dark side of me. I try to control that, more so these days. But I let it slip now and again... And people will make of it what they will. It does bother me when I open myself up and I feel people took it completely the wrong way. It hurts.

Drama is inevitable when we get so personal, put our hearts into our writing. It happens. In the end it's about growing, learning and moving on. We can't always like everyone and not everyone is always going to like us. That's just the way life is.

[notodette.livejournal.com]

This has been my favorite green room introduction.

[noodledays.livejournal.com]

it's definitely up there among mine too.

...and now for something completely different...

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

I've been rescued by a dear local friend I don't see very often. She's offered me a hot shower and dinner tonight.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

:wipes tear from eye:

Re: ...and now for something completely different...

[tjoel2]

That's so cool! Enjoy the long hot shower for sure. We did manage to get the gas back on yesterday, so it's nice and toasty in here today. Paying $580 for it still hurts though. Ouch!

[tjoel2]

Thought I'd comment now before the entire internet goes down today, so here goes: Comment, comment, comment, comment, comment, comment, comment, comment, comment, comment!!!

Whew, glad that I got that in there. :}

[poppetawoppet.livejournal.com]

thoughtful reply thoughtful reply thoughtful reply appropriate gif funky emoticon

[ceiphiedknight.livejournal.com]

I own a t-shirt that proudly states, "Silently Judging You."

I have my eye on one that says, "Haters Gonna Hate."

It's all relative. Judging and having opinions and being like, "I beg to differ!" is all part of human nature. I like to roll with it.

And that is all I have to offer the Green Room today.

[sweeny-todd.livejournal.com]

I love t-shirt messages - I want "not that kind of doctor"

[noodledays.livejournal.com]

I just trust you to be able to sort through it. I hope that trust is not misplaced. - I like to hope/think you're going to find out it's not misplaced for the most part. :D

[rt-sparrow.livejournal.com]

I know "happy thing" day was yesterday, but holy crap I just read pixie117's entry and it made me laugh so hard my muscles hurt. (Look at you being all personal trainer already.)

If you haven't read it, go read it now.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, thank you! I'm glad you thought it was funny and got a good laugh. I was hoping people would be amused :)

[ilea.livejournal.com]

Diagenou is not real. That journal is a joint project between kitty and her girlfriend jessica aka dorie (who I used to know IRL) Diagenou was a character in jess' head that she used to write about which became "real" when she moved in with kitty. 10 to 1 that incident they wrote about never happened.

[team-jessie.livejournal.com]

I find that there is almost no tactful way to respond here, so I'll simply say that I've sometimes wondered about this (and other accounts over my time here).

I suppose if this is truly an "alt" journal, Gary ought to have been informed, and inded he may already have been. Part of the mystique of the "alt" is that the audience generally doesn't know until the author chooses to reveal themselves.