Green Room - Week 10 - Day 2

[clauderainsrm.livejournal.com]

Good almost-afternoon Idol!

How is your weekend going so far?

We have the new topic http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/516745.html and of course the Work Room, which has sparked some interesting conversations. So if you've missed the action, head on over there! http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/516905.html

Including one thread that seems to be leaning toward self-responsibility. How much of a responsibility do you have in creating the sort of atmosphere you want to have (In Idol and everywhere else)?

How is that impacted by people who want a different type of experience? That's one of the questions of Idol after all, can an extremely diverse group of individuals come together as a community? (while avoiding the tigers armed with chain saws roaming the grounds)

Comments

[notodette.livejournal.com]

Still in my jammies. Time to get a move on, for real.

ETA: But, you know, first in the green room, so maybe putting off getting dressed was a good decision...

Once you become an adult, you have to take responsibility for your own self and atmosphere, but you also have to take into account the people with whom you interact and realize that their atmosphere comfort is probably very different from yours. Coming together over the internet is easy, since you can take what you like and ignore the rest. Real life is a bit harder, but part of being all grown is the give and take of this constant dance where comfort levels compromise.

[noodledays.livejournal.com]

this is a good assessment, and I agree with it. :)

and YAY for your first!

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Yay for first :)


I agree with what you say here. People can choose to ignore things they don't like over the internet, but of course, some people like stirring up drama!

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

I'm still in my jammies too! And yay, first!

Also, you're right about it being much easier to "come together" over the Internets. One's 'net persona can often be much different than in real life.

Not mine, of course, but some! ;)

[beldarzfixon.livejournal.com]

Still in my jammies, too. Being a grown-up, that's my prerogitive, like having ice cream any time I want =)

[fading-light.livejournal.com]

I just want to state that I love your icon.

[rattsu.livejournal.com]

Of course very different people can come together to create a community! People do it all the time. It all comes down to managing conflict, and realizing that just because people might hold different views on some things, they might agree on others.

There will always be arguments. There will always be conflicts. But things do not need to escalate beyond the normal into the realm of crazy. In real life this seems to be easier, but for some reason on the net people reach for the crazy club quicker than normal.

[noodledays.livejournal.com]

I agree with your second paragraph for the most part, but sadly when they reach for the crazy club irl, the consequences seem to be so much more dire than in ye olde days of yore.

[imafarmgirl.livejournal.com]

Not much going on here accept laundry. I need to find something more exciting to do, like drink more coffee. All caught up on entries but I don't think that'll last long.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

I need to find more exciting things to do too... but maybe later. I always procrastinate that part.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

Isn't it sad how exciting a good cup of coffee can be? *smile*

[vaudy.livejournal.com]

Well, LJ ate my comment. Anyway, I gotta leave for work in about twenty minutes, and since I'm finally hanging out with waveform_delta and heading out to his place straight from work, I have extra pre-work prep to do, so I'll have to catch up on that Work Room thread later.

Looking forward to a fun evening of Chinese take-out, exchanging presents, watching old cartoons on DVD, and playing with kitties.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a wonderful evening to me. Have fun!

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

I think Idol has proven time and time again that a diverse group of people can come together and make it work. Yes, there are the drama starters, there's one or two in every group at least. That's just what they do. It's up to those of us not interested in drama to learn to not add fuel to the fire, unless of course, that's what we want to do too.

It does come down to personal responsibility, just like it does in RL. We are the only one who can control the experiences we have in life. We can take what we like, choose to ignore the rest and make decisions on how to respond to people in different situations. Sure, others also impact our experience too... but it doesn't have to be in a bad way! It's all in how we react to those people that can determine our experience.

I hope that makes sense. I feel kinda icky today thanks to sinus congestion. My head is pounding. I need to take a shower and call the vet, Annabelle may have an ear infection and something growing between her toes (again). I just hate it because it seems like I can never get out of the vet for less than $300, even for mild things :/

Wish me luck! I also need to get my car serviced, so I am going to be broke this month! Which reminds me, gotta pay those pesky bills too.

But java_fiend will be over later and that makes me happy.

[copyright1983.livejournal.com]

Just because I did theater in high school doesn't mean I want to be involved in drama. :)

Dad and I are going to the playoff game today--go Niners!

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

That is so true. I hate being involved with drama, so I avoid it. Though I love theater! :)

Have fun at the game!

[similiesslip.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure anyone can "create" atmosphere. I always figured I arrive in whatever atmosphere already exists and then learn to deal with it.

I think Idol is different things to different people. The main thing I feel I create in Idol is my entries. The other things are created by others and I respond to them.

One thing I really like about Idol is choice. To stay in the game, I must link my entries in time. Everything else is optional. Some of it is, of course, recommended and encouraged but it's a "pick your own" type of thing.

I'm sure there might be negative stuff going on but, for the most part, I try to choose to focus on the positive. There are so many positives, I don't need to spend time on the negative.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure anyone can "create" atmosphere. I always figured I arrive in whatever atmosphere already exists and then learn to deal with it.

I think that comment speaks of your confidence. I may have said that at one time too. That I have no control in the environment around me. That really is not the case, you have more control than you likely realize.

How you respond to something can change the environment for you. If you see drama going on and you choose to stay out of it, it creates one atmosphere for you. If you decide to stand up for what you believe in, it creates a new experience not only for you, but those around you.

If you stand up to someone who is bullying someone else, that effects far more than just you. If you give concrit, that affects more than just you too... it affects the writer, the readers who read the piece that you have helped make better, etc.

I hope that makes sense. Just saying the environment of a group is really created by every single person within the group and how they choose to react and respond to things. Or at least that's how I see it. I just think every single person really matters and you never know who can influence the outcome of this game...

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

I think all members of any group are responsible for creating the atmosphere they want to have. In my opinion, Idol proves that a diverse group of folks can indeed come together to create a marvelous experience! It's been an honor to be part of this community for so many years, and to have made the acquaintance of so many interesting people. *GROUP HUG* ♥

So far my weekend has been relaxing, but it's still early days. I made some delicious cheesy scrambled eggs & corned beef hash for brunch, with a slice of raisin toast and half a Honeybell orange on the side. Yummo!

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

The only problem with the GR is that for the most part you *don't* see faces, unless folks have them in their icon (like this one of me) or post a photo.

Hi, I'm Laura - nice to meet you!

*tosses out a raw steak for the tiger to nom*

[genesisdesire.livejournal.com]

http://genesisdesire.livejournal.com/274648.html Home Game Entry. Feel free to leave comments, I'll still respond.

More available now than ever to beta, if people like. I'll go make the same offer in the Work Room.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

When I get an entry written, I might take you up on the beta offer. I really like getting a variety of people to beta for me. The more feedback, the merrier!

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

:trying not to shiver:

Tonight it's supposed to go down to near 0F :brr: I have the heat turned on as low as can be withstood (tl:dr I owe $ I don't have to the oil delivery people, so they won't give any until I make a dent in what I owe. I have just under a quarter tank). SO and I are both sitting here bundled up in our winter coats and hats!

However, now is VACATION! WOOT!

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Enjoy that vacation time and try not to freeze while you're at it! Yikes! I don't miss the cold at all. Not that kind of cold. Kevin thinks it's cold today and it's in the 60's!

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

Good afternoon, GR!

Great concert last night, fabulous writing group this morning (I've got my funny back! Any day I'm compared to Tina Fey is a good one), shrimp stock on the stove. Too tired and addled for a real post.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

I love that my funny has come back this season! Or at least I think I have been funny, but that's all that matters, right? :)

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Try to squeeze some rest in there too. Sounds like a lot of exhausting fun!

[medleymisty.livejournal.com]

I want to write a deep and thoughtful answer to the questions in the OP, but I need to get this home game entry done before Monday night. :)

I think that's one of the central questions in life really - how much we create our own world and how much we're created by it. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this.

I have a very strong internal locus of control. I wasn't raised in any particular religion or ideology or anything. As a result, I really have a hard time understanding the way that people who were raised in more strict environments think. Like I'll hear people say that they feel pressured to be a certain way because of media messages or American culture or something, and I just don't get it. So I've done a lot of research into psychology and ego development and moral development and everything, and I think...

It's like other dichotomies, like space and time and nature and nurture. Both realities exist together, intertwined. After all - I am more mentally free and responsible for my opinions and beliefs than many other people I see around me, but that's a result of the way I was raised just as much as their external locus of control is the result of the way they were raised.

Also I think the internet is srs bzns! ;) We're all flesh and blood people here. We may be able to scroll past and delete and avoid the stuff that we don't like, but I think it still leaves an impression. I know the bullying and pile-ons in the Sims community left a deep impression on me. Kids do kill themselves as a result of cyber bullying. So I don't think "oh, it's just the internet" is an excuse for being horrible to other humans or for minimizing the pain of those who are bullied online.

In general, I guess I think that our responsibility for creating the atmosphere we want varies with our personal histories, experiences, level of development, and genes. Like a baby can't be responsible for creating its environment, but as it grows and learns it becomes more and more responsible. And we're all at different points in our own paths and so we all have varying levels of personal responsibility.

And in dealing with people who want a different type of experience...hmm. I'm very outspoken and will call people out on bullying, but most people in the Sims community are very well socialized upper middle class American females, which means they're all "nice" and never want to offend anyone and they deny their shadow and then let it out in really hurtful and awful passive aggressive ways, with anonymous hate secrets in the Sims secret community. I tried to speak up on the bullying, and I think it worked to some extent (the rules of the secret community were changed a bit to cut down on the really vicious stuff) but in the end it just wasn't the community for me and I didn't fit, so I've had to move on.

I think that maybe getting along with people who are different is about respect and boundaries. But even there, we're all different in our understanding and personal definition of respect and boundaries.

I don't know. I just try to be open to everything and everyone and I try to look at myself honestly and work on my flaws, and if any drama does come up during my time with Idol I'll just deal with it when it comes, which I'll have all the mistakes I made dealing with Sims drama to learn from. And that's all we can ask of other humans, I think - that we all keep learning from our mistakes.

Oh, yeah. Home game entry. Gonna go work on that now. LOL. :)

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Wow, a lot of deep thoughts there. I like it :)

It really does come down o everyone being different. Our backgrounds are all different, we respond to thinks different. It comes down to understanding that people will respond differently, and that it's okay. It makes the world interesting and unique. Just because I say something with an intended meaning, does not mean everyone will take it as a mean it to be. I have issues with people misinterpreting what I say a lot because I have a unique way of saying things, plus I have a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor.

But yes, get that home game entry in. I have an entry to write myself. Where did the time go? Yikes!

[alien-infinity.livejournal.com]

All humans have a responsibility to be decent beings and work towards the atmosphere they want (within reason), but I dislike the "you don't have to let X make you feel bad!" kind of self-responsibility advice because it seems to blame whomever for their unpleasant feelings, which are often automatic. When somebody tries to cheer me up or make me stop being upset by saying "others have it worse!" or "get over it!" that just makes me feel worse.

That's not quite the question you asked, but the phrases "self-responsibility" or "personal responsibility" are...not my favorite phrases at all. Attempts to tell me I must be 100% grateful for my life and am not allowed to be depressed or even just sad about something piss me off. I'm getting off-topic, but those "responsibility" phrases are almost triggering to me.

I'm not saying everyone has a license to be a jerk with no consequences when they're having a bad day or anything. It's just...feelings aren't easy or simple to control.

I don't know if I'm quite getting my point across. :/

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

I do get your point and I agree. I don't like when someone tries to say "suck it up, you have it easy compared to others!". It makes light of what that person is going through. We all have different life experiences. I know I have it better than starving kids in Africa. I know that by a long shot, and when I think about that... it just makes me feel worse because I feel guilty I can't just cheer myself up on command.

Emotions aren't always under our own control. I can be hurt by something and not understand it, and not be able to pull myself out of it even if I understand it's silly. With therapy, I am getting better... but it's not an easy process and I can't always control what gets me down or bothers me.

I meant to e-mail you and ask... Are you doing okay with getting something written? I wanted to nudge you along because I know you are out of byes and I don't want you to bye out. That would make me very sad!

[jacq22.livejournal.com]

As a normal and very annoying 'Pollyanna' I am really delighted to see that a few have put the positives about being part of our group.

They have given me views of life I might have missed, stories that touched me, made me cry, made me rage, made me sick, the chink of light is growing, you see it involves letting others in.

I have been so full of things in stories (Copralite was one that brought diverse knowledge) that I have been bursting to share it with my friends, so the spread of knowledge goes even further, like ripples in a pool.

So don't let the odd bad day when something get under your skin put you off. I am easily hurt, but learning all the time even now..in old age, which of course as a Pollyanna I refuse to admit. People have different views, I can deal with that, as long as they don't force feed them down my throat, I have the choice to delete, or whizz past them.
It is a hot morning in Australia, I have a sick cat, an empty purse, and some boring stuff to do before I get to my art, but the world is still beautiful.

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

Gary, when do our byes expire?

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

I'm not Gary... but if I recall correctly, it's at top 100.