Green Room - Week 10 - Day 3

[clauderainsrm.livejournal.com]

Confidence is a funny thing.

I've seen people with amazing gifts who don't seem to have any, and people BSing their way through life on a interesting turn of praise and not much more.

It's not just what you have, or develop over the years - it's how you decide to use it.

It's making that decision to believe in yourself, and to trust your own voice rather that the ones in the back of your head telling you that you can't do it.

One of the delights over the years of doing Idol has been seeing people find that spark inside of them, and turning around and doing something with it. Maybe they thought it was gone, or never thought too much about it - but suddenly there are possibilities in the words and in the direction you might want to take it.

If I could tell you one thing - it would be to TRUST YOUR VOICE and don't let anyone else sidetrack you.

Great things can happen.

Not just in writing either.

***
If I could tell you TWO things - it would be to remind you about the poll going on http://community.livejournal.com/therealljidol/415823.html for Second Chance Idol
The topic post for the main competition http://community.livejournal.com/therealljidol/415742.html
and of course the Work Room http://community.livejournal.com/therealljidol/416104.html

***
If I could tell you a third, it would be for everyone in the Philadelphia area, or if you KNOW SOMEONE in that area, who loves animals, to take a look at http://team-jessie.livejournal.com/724304.html

and boost the signal to give a Bulldog a chance at a new life.

***

The last thing I would do is to wish you all a Happy What-Used-To-Be beeker121's birthday! Unfortunately, we had to confiscate it when it didn't get through the new screening procedures. But the rest of you can enjoy it for her!!!

Comments

[sweeny-todd.livejournal.com]

it is good advice that is hard to take!

[sweeny-todd.livejournal.com]

and happy non-birthday to beeker121. I mean.. it can't really be an unbirthday, can it??

[michikatinski.livejournal.com]

You're speaking to me tonight! Thanks for the encouragement.

[creature-girl08.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday beeker121. I love telling people happy birthday. A small joy in my life. Yes, I'm strange and very ok with this.

Now, sleepy meds are taking effect so off to bed.

Ta ta folks.

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

Well I enjoy receiving birthday wishes so we're both happy. That works out well.

[comedychick.livejournal.com]

The funny thing is, I posted my entry today without hearing back from my usual person who looks over my entries and said to him I need to remember to trust my instincts more. Gary, have you hacked my email? :P I hope not, I probably have a lot of incriminating things in there >.> *thinks about all the Gary references and freaks out* ;)

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

He probably has ;)

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

You're right -- I need to trust my gut instinct voice a bit more, especially IRL. Besides, I'm tired of always dithering. Or being so much in tizzy that I'm dizzy :p

I need new work shoes.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

Kizzy in a dizzy tizzy? =)

[joeymichaels.livejournal.com]

So busy the last few days. Plus, a certain segment of my students proved to be idiots today. Minor details at my journal.

I have tons of unfounded confidence. Fortunately, I have a cat who constantly puts me in my place.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

That's what cats do best!

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

In untrelated news I'm quite pleased with this secondary idol thing, being on the inverse cycle from the main one means being in both I always have an idol entry or two under production. I sure am glad I entered my three two selves into the idolsphere ;)

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

Or the idiotsphere, which is how I first read that, LOL.

[mstrobel.livejournal.com]

I totally found my niche and style and voice and all that writing for idol last season. I don't know if I trusted the voice though, so much as I just told the you-can't-do-this one to just shut up, I was gonna do things MY way and screw whatever happened :P

[vaguelyclear.livejournal.com]

Freaky - I had a conversation with my mother last night about confidence! Very true words though, Gary, and definitely something I need to tell myself more often.

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

I've lately felt like serendipity has struck me. I've never thought of myself as a creative writer before starting Idol this season, and only in the most recent weeks felt as though I had any actual talent at it. It always felt like when I wrote I couldn't switch off "paper/business memo mode". I've been trained for years in how to write concisely, getting my points across in as few words as possible. It's a kind of canon that strips language of most of its other functions. We write for an audience here that doesn't want just bare physical facts; they want to be entertained, enriched, empowered.

I don't know what's going to happen next week. I might lose my muse and struggle again. I might feel like I've hit another one out of the park. I could hit it to the back wall and still barely make it to first base. I could power it out of the park and not have the nerve to run the bases. Life's not a track meet; it's a marathon. So in all of these ways Idol is like life.

But it's not. Our arbiter of success in Idol is our peers and their collective opinion. We are playing in a popularity contest and I'm grateful that life isn't based on that - I wouldn't have survived my childhood if it were. Which makes me think, finally, that confidence is a solo act that if you have it people will often follow. Besides, what's the worst that can happen if you're like me, with no byes remaining - either I strike out looking and get eliminated, or I make a base hit out of it. Might as well swing, even if it feels like I'm swinging at crap.

[tigrkittn.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure you can equate "creative writing" to "using more words than necessary". I'm not an Idol star getting a million votes or anything, but I've survived this long - and I always write as economically as possible. My edits and rewrites are nearly always taking extraneous words out rather than adding further description.

Just a $.02 thought.

[imafarmgirl.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I want to listen to the voices in my head.


What I am happy about though is that I have a snow day! Woohoo! Maybe I'll get an entry written after all because for a while it was looking like I'd be taking a bye.

[dreamchaser.livejournal.com]

Hooray for having a snow day!

[tamaraland.livejournal.com]

I'm struggling with writing at the moment, which is evident in my entry this week. I hated the idea of taking two byes in a row and figured I would get out of the habit of writing anything besides work stuff if I didn't crank out something. I'm just so consumed by other things at the moment that my brain can barely see to the end of the day, much less beyond into creating anything.

[tigrkittn.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm the exception, but misplaced confidence has gotten me into more trouble over the years than I care to think about! Trouble at work, trouble with men, trouble in a writing competition...! Funny you should bring this up today, though, because I started my entry last night and it's about a time I had lots of confidence when I shouldn't have and, well, embarrassing hilarity ensued.

In other news I was actually in bed by 12:30 last night, because I had to get up at 6:30am today. Now I've been at work for 45 minutes and all I've done is read email and LJ. I am the slackest of slackers. Time for more coffee! :D

[comedychick.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a fun story to read. Can't wait!

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

Good thoughts all, Gary. And happy whatever to beeker121!

I'm nomming some instant oatmeal for breakfast, then it's off to work. Hopefully my car will make it through the snowy streets without too much slippin' and slidin'!

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the good wishes. I rather like "happy whatever" I may need to borrow that. Hopefully all your travels today are safe.

[lawchicky.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday beeker121!

I tend to lack confidence in most of the things I do. It's sad, but I'm working on it. I have to feign confidence in court frequently because for per diem work I often know very little about the case (only what the law firm bothers to send me) and need to act as though I'm well versed in the matter.

[tigrkittn.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine in law school here started taking an improv class to help her be confident in the courtroom. I thought that was kind of brilliant ;)

Happy Birthday Beeker121!!!

[tigrkittn.livejournal.com]

Hippo Birdie Two Ewes,
Hippo Birdie Two Ewes,
Hippo Birdie Dear Beeker,
Hippo Birdie Two Ewes!!

Re: Happy Birthday Beeker121!!!

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks so much! You even managed to avoid the confiscated birthday word! *Hugs*

[cheshire23.livejournal.com]

This makes me think. If I am confident, then I am arrogant and pushy, and nobody likes that.

If I am not, then I am putting myself down or whining, and nobody likes *that*.

It's kind of a no-win. :(

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Man, you describe exactly how I feel about it all...

[beldar.livejournal.com]

The voices in the back of my head can be real bastards sometimes, and as I don't want to spend the rest of my life in Supermax prison, I try to be very selective about taking their advice. =)

I think the important thing about self-confidence in the context of Idol is that it's what gets you through when the comments and votes don't come. I remember a past season in which an entry I was quite impressed with only generated a couple of comments, and then a scary-low number of votes. Inwardly I freaked, "What did I do wrong?" I said to myself. But finally I had to consider, did *I* like what I wrote? To be honest, yes. So, fine, I put the disappointment behind me and put my attention to writing the next entry. The only lesson from this was a sense of what does/doesn't appeal to the "audience," so I took that without blowing the setback out of proportion.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

It seems like the entries of mine that I like the most, often lag in the polls more than ones I'm not as confident about...it's strange and I always beat myself up. I'm working on thinking the way you do though :)

[dizzydog.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday beeker121!! Gary's new screening procedures for those scary foreigners (those that aren't him) is mean, so I'll let you have one of my upcoming birthdays. I won't miss it :D

And a Happy Friday to everyone else!

I have confidence in my ability to be a complete slacker. I've got most of my entry written in my head and know where I'm going with it, but haven't put a word of it down anywhere yet :) Gonna be a long night and tomorrow morning getting this one out! I'm a little concerned because it's an actual piece of fiction which I don't often do, and may be longer than my usual entry, and actually means something to me so I hope it doesn't fall completely flat. But if you don't do, you don't know, so into the breach I go :D

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

Just because my birthday had a nail file... Though I'm hoping the confiscation means I can count backwards for the year. I'm at the stage where I wouldn't miss it much either - thanks!

Woosh, I wrote my first fiction piece for this season this round, so I totally understand your butterflies. I look forward to reading it.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Confidence in one self. Something I really seriously lack in this game. I'm better about not publicly trashing myself this season, which does seem to make me feel more confident... But trust me, my doubts and insecurities are there until the very end of the polls. Especially if I'm not doing so well in the polls (but I realize I've done really well overall, and I'm shocked and flattered).

I'm overly critical of myself and as java_fiend calls it, I'm mean to myself. It's no secret that I want to be liked and I want my writing to be liked. I work my butt off for most of the entries I write. It's why I have no time for most other things like getting to work on time.

But I'm getting better about being nicer to myself. No public bashing of myself has been allowed this season. Whining isn't attractive and it doesn't do any good for anyone. I put myself out there and hope people like me :)

[java-fiend.livejournal.com]

You are *very* mean to yourself sometimes and it makes me sad. You are getting a *little* bit better about being nicer to you. Which is good. I do hope in time, you'll see just how awesome you really are.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

For some reason, my phone is omitting letters at weird places, so excuse typos. Argh.

Happy birthday to Beeker too!

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the birthday wishes! And to combine responses - I think your writing is getting stronger all the time. I know what's it like to be hyper-critcal of oneself, and it just takes time to train yourself out of it. (Well some of it, it's not a habit I'll ever break entirely.)

[comedychick.livejournal.com]

And since I'm thinking about it... anyone else doing anything for Chinese New Year? I'm going to be heading down to Singapore with my family, checking out the Universal Studios there, as well as catching up with a friend who moved there a few months ago. So glad I still have my byes saved! I doubt we'll be down to our top 75 by then and the timing of it all means I'll probably need to use one!

[quoting-mungo.livejournal.com]

I'm not doing anything celebrate-ey, that I know of, but I will be doing up a pin-up of Sarah's mother as bonus art for my comic. What with her being a rabbit.


-Alexandra

[java-fiend.livejournal.com]

Confidence you say? Hmmmmmm... *checks pockets* Nope, ain't got it. :-p

Some days actually, I do feel very confident... like I can do anything I want to do/conquer the world. Most days however, I feel the distinct lack of confidence in anything/everything I do. It doesn't matter how complimentary people are about what I do, I rarely ever feel *good enough*.

I know where it all comes from. I just don't know how to exorcise that particular demon from my life just yet. But I'm working on it. And I'm hoping I can get there sooner rather than later.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

*hugs* you and me both sweetie. But you know I understand all too well.

Some days (or weeks) I'm confident, others I'm so insecure that I feel I could break if things turn out a certain way. I just want to curl up in a ball and hide. But then I get over it, pick myself up and feel better next week.

I realize that it's linked to stress. When I feel like everything around me is spinning out of control and I can't do anything about it, my confidence drops. Realizing the cause is the first step. It's a good sign that you'll get there...

It just takes time to develop new thought processes.

[worldofcharlie.livejournal.com]

*nods*...Carrie (my headmate) is very skilled in what she does, former bosses will say that she's good at what she does...

the problem is - she has a hard time articulating what that is...that'll help her get a job...

Well...interviews are tough in general. But sometimes I think the knowledge and the stories she can tell about how "she was able to accomplish x goal" is slipping like time does. She just needs to reconnect with what she's good at, find out good words or better ways of articulating it to someone that doesn't know her.

Overconfidence can kill getting a job....so it works both ways...

[worldofcharlie.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday to beeker... :) Forgot to mention that in my first comment.

thecuteone33 who's my headmate, her birthday's this Sunday...Yes..I don't have the same birthday as the body (don't ask, I think it was a mathematical goof-up about 30 years back, some multiples share same birthday as the body, some don't)...she turns 41.

January's an interesting month for Birthdays though..

So as for Beeker...capricorn or Aquarius? Depends on who you believe...

[dizzydog.livejournal.com]

I figured since signs were changing anyway, I'll pick my own and I'm now a Merge Left.