The Wheelhouse - Week 3 - Weekend Edition

[clauderainsrm]

Greetings from Ohio. I came up for two different family reunions. Well, one "Cousin's Day" and the other is a cookout because they were looking for an excuse to have one, and since I was coming up and no one has seen me in years, a lot of different subgroups of the family are coming together (so in other words, a "family reunion" but only one of them was planned years in advance!

Don't forget to read, comment and vote for your favorites?  therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1188979.html

The trip so far has been nice at points, but emotionally rough. Definitely some difficult insights into family dynamics. 

Such as, it turns out that yes, my Dad IS just weirdly distant from the kids, family and pretty much everyone.  But he *specifically* doesn't like me and doesn't want to talk to me because he "can't understand a word (I) say" and is embarrassed by me. (Due to my stutter) Found that out from my siblings after they were drinking a lot and speaking candidly about the issues in the family. One of them had the courage to say it out loud (after I said that I was positive my Dad didn't like me) and no one contradicted him. Maybe I can finally stop trying to gain his approval!  It's just one more reason to be glad that I started therapy and have a session that afternoon I get back (Tuesday) 

***

How has YOUR week/weekend been going?  Hopefully all of you are positive that I want to kick you!!! Because I do. 

Comments

[roina_arwen]

I’m sorry your dad isn’t willing to put in the effort with you and your relationship. I’ve met you (ages ago) and honestly I don’t recall having any major issues understanding you. I have a few other friends (one with a stammer and one with a stutter) and they are both extremely smart guys, like you.

We finally got the garage cleaned out enough for hubby to park his car in it (there was already enough room for mine), so that’s been nice!

I have read and voted, so now we wait.

[bleodswean]

Families are so often broken things that have sharp edges that hurt. I'm sorry this is the case for you, G. You are an AMAZING human being and certainly deserve more than that.

Idol is fun so far! I don't understand the KILLERS bit and am not sure our role in that part of the chaos...

Weekend is busy for me. I'm finishing the last Tell Your Park Fire Story so that we can post i on the one-year anniversary in a week and a half. It's a ton of work but very rewarding.

[adoptedwriter]

That sux about your dad. So sorry. I can relate. Hugs.

[adoptedwriter]

Spending the lions share if my weekend w my bro watching The Mothership slowly sail off into the sunset. She's still among us but this is bad. Wish I had more positive news, but…
Oh yeah, my zucchini are coming in and we had some yummy salad n green beans from my garden a few days ago. So there is that.

[murielle]

I am so sorry, P. Been there a couple of times, it's just hard. ((Gentle hugs))

[murielle]

I am so sorry about your dad, Gary. Bottom line, parents are human, flawed, etc. He is so wrong about you, and as hurtful as that is, it is his loss. Since I've known you through Idol, I've seen a caring, giving man who is out there doing good in this mixed-up, crazy world. You're a hero! That's the truth.

Me? I'm holding on, hanging in, and just finished what's been released, so far, on Netflix of The Sandman. Wow! What a series!

Need a lot of mindless stuff in my life right now. Any suggestions?

[bleodswean]

I'm so conflicted about WATCHING The Sandman because it is Important to me and I don't want that to change. Feel the same about watching anything Cormac McCarthy wrote as Literature.

And yes yes I know Gaiman is BAD MAN now, but you know, I've followed the guy since 1987 and he was always exactly who he's been exposed to be.

Glad to hear you enjoyed the show, M!

[murielle]

LOL! Just read what I wrote about Sandman and then the need for mindless stuff. Sandman is not mindless, far from it.

I understand why you don't want your experience with the book(s) to be spoiled. I do.

This may surprise you, but I've grown weary of all the pseudo-moralizing these days. If it were genuine, maybe I'd be more sympathetic, but people who knew all along suddenly all aghast because it's made public doesn't impress me much. (I'm not talking about folks like us. I'm talking about the professional hypocrites. You know what I mean?)

I think you'd be pleased with it. It's very, very well done. I can't see Gaiman agreeing to anything that would demean his work or his vision.

I feel the same about McCarthy. All the Pretty Horses went right over my head. I suppose I ought to read the book, then watch the movie again. :-) The Road, which will always be on my "favorite read" list, was a brilliant movie.

We readers are a delicate breed. ;-)

[hafnia]

If you have a need for mindless stuff, I recommend "Detroiters", on Netflix. It's a slightly absurd comedy about two men who run an ad agency together. The cast is really lovely and it's very low-stakes. :)

[murielle]

Thank you, Jenn! ❤

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! I think we could all use some feel-good happiness about now.

We just started Murderbot, which is not feel-good but is unexpectedly hilarious. \o/

[kizzy]

:wanders in and collapses in a heap:

I've had exactly 2 days off in the past 2 weeks. Things almost came to a head today because of that. I held my ground. I want ice cream and a nap.

[eeyore_grrl]

(hugs) i hear you loud and clear. i was never the fave. blatantly. it hurts and it sucks and it is what it is... hopefully we come out healthier with therapy.

[hafnia]

Once I stopped trying to gain my mom's approval, my life got a lot better. I hope that your therapist can help you find peace with it, Gary ♥

My weekend has been fine! HOT, but it's July and the PNW is in a heat wave. Ran D&D and now I'm working on a side project, glad to be back from traveling (hence why I had a bye this week), hoping that work isn't a total nightmare this week.

[static_abyss]

I'm glad you have someone to talk to when you get back home, Gary. Family insights can be rough, but you've almost made it! Have a good trip back home.

I had a very inspiring and active weekend! On Thursday, I had class and did some therapy sessions with a few clients and had a nice nap. Then Friday, as I was catching up on work, my dad decided he wanted to spice things up a bit. He had a seizure. First in his life. Never had one before. No family history of seizures. No drug or alcohol use. No high blood pressure. Now low sugar. Perfectly healthy man. So that was a very interesting day. We ended up at the ER from Friday to Saturday afternoon when he was finally given a bed on a different floor. He had a second seizure on Saturday and was put on seizure medication which he'll now take for the rest of his life. But since he's healthy, he's pretty much here until Monday to ensure the pill version of his medication is working.

So, that was an adventure. But I was just glad it happened when my sister and I were home, and he wasn't alone.

Otherwise, it's been a perfectly pleasant weekend. The AC is nice at the hospital and I'm never too hot.

[murielle]

So sorry about your dad. Glad you were there to get him the help he needed.❤

[static_abyss]

Thank you ❤️ Everything is okay now and he's back home.

[halfshellvenus]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad! But it sounds as if the attack was at least timely, and he's been diagnosed and treated now, so that part is good.

[static_abyss]

Thank you ❤️

I'm very glad it happened when he wasn't alone and during the summer so my sister can be with him when I have to leave for work. He's back home so that's also good.

[simplyn2deep]

I’m glad you got to see family, even if some parts were bittersweet. I think there's a certain power in having the truth out in the open, rather than carrying around self-doubt and wondering why things felt off. It takes a lot of strength to sit with that truth rather than turning away from it.

It’s also good to hear you have therapy lined up right after you get back—that timing couldn’t be better, and it shows real self-care on your part. I hope the trip still gives you a few warm moments with family, even among the tough realizations.

My weekend was okay. I had a couple of early morning errands that I rushed through, as I was borrowing my roommate's car. She said she had something to do in the early afternoon, but she actually did it until the early evening, so I rushed for nothing. Then I thought today I could do the errands I put off yesterday, but again, she said she had some errands, so I didn't do what I wanted. I need to figure out how to get a car. It's cool only having to contribute towards gas and pay my share of car insurance, but I need my own wheels

[muchtooarrogant]

Sorry parts of your time in Ohio with your family have been stressful, but as others have said, at least the truth you suspected was confirmed and out in the open now. For me, family gatherings as an adult were always difficult because there were all those assigned roles I didn't fit into anymore, and although my friends and coworkers knew it, my family was still locked in the past. That's why family visits should always be short. (grin)

It's been a nice quiet weekend here for the most part. I discovered that one of my favorite Authors, Lois McMaster Bujold, had released a new novela in her Penric and Desdemona series, and so I naturally consumed that at the speed of light. :) Then, since I admire her writing and wanted more, I started rereading her book The Curse of Chalion.

Yesterday, Amanda, my youngest kid, asked if a group of her friends could come over from around 8:00 pm until 11:00 pm and watch a movie upstairs. Lizbeth and I both agreed. Now guys, it's admittedly been a while since I was in my 20's, but I don't recall watching movies with friends involving that much screaming, stamping, and otherwise hell-raising. LOL Lizbeth was in the living room and said she only heard an occasional shout, whereas I was under them in our bedroom, but still ...

Dan

[xeena]

Now guys, it's admittedly been a while since I was in my 20's, but I don't recall watching movies with friends involving that much screaming, stamping, and otherwise hell-raising. LOL bahaha what was the movie?

[muchtooarrogant]

I wasn't sure, so texted her and asked.

Dan: Hey, what was the movie you were watching with your friends last night? With all the screaming/stomping, I'm wondering if it's something me and your mom should watch?

Amanda: LOL We were actually watching a show, it was the season finale of Love Island. It's a dating show like the Bachelorette!

Dan: LOL Never mind!

Lizbeth: LOL Oh goody! I would love to scream and stomp with your Dad!

*SHUDDER*

Dan

[murielle]

Thank you! You made me laugh. I needed that. :-D <3

[muchtooarrogant]

:) You're welcome! I gotta say, I never would've suspected "that" would be her answer.

Dan

[murielle]

I stopped watching reality shows when I realized I wouldn't have any contestants in my home in RL, so why on TV? Of course, I no longer watch TV either. LOL!

[halfshellvenus]

Ahahahaha! I was wondering what the movie was too, but instead it was all blatant ridiculousness! And that does sound kind of scream-worthy, maybe for completely different reasons. :D

[muchtooarrogant]

Hahaha, yeah. Further down in the texts I said that the ONLY screaming I'd be doing would be as I ran for the nearest exit. (grin)

Dan

[xeena]

i've been subjected to it before haha you hit the nail on the head with this that does sound kind of scream-worthy, maybe for completely different reasons. :D

[muchtooarrogant]

The Love Island name has me remembering Fantasy Island with some amusement. When I was a kid and we visited my Grandma, she would always watch Love Boat, then Fantasy Island. I think sometimes The Dukes of Hazard would air before those two, but one of my aunts would always object to it saying, "My kids already drive bad enough!"

Dan

[xeena]

bahaha this is hilarious, I love your bantering together :D <3

[muchtooarrogant]

As parents, we've been incredibly fortunate with both of our daughters. There's occasional bickering and hurt feelings, but we've always been able to work things out given time. :) Of course, when they all lived here and it was their three females to my one male, I will admit to sometimes hiding until the screaming was over, and then stepping in to moderate the piece treaty. (grin)

Dan

[tonithegreat]

I need to check out that series. I love the Vorkosigan books.

[muchtooarrogant]

Yes, I loved the Vorkosigan series, and although she only got to be a supporting character in the later ones, I was a huge fan of Captain/Countess Cordelia. Curse of Chalion and Paladin of Souls are different because they're fantasy, but her world building and depth of character development are still excellent. She also wrote a series called The Sharing Knife which was a fantasy as well, but it was a bit too romancey for my taste.

Dan

[muchtooarrogant]

Oh sorry, also meant to say that the Penric and Desdemona series is in the same world as Curse of Chalion and Paladin of Souls, but a bit earlier in that timeline.

[swirlsofpurple]

Sorry about your dad *hugs*

[xeena]

ughhh, I'm so sorry Gary. I basically dislike almost of my relatives and know what it's like to be the odd one out. ngl I'm glad to be the odd one out of racist homophobic xenophobes but still, it sucks that families can't always be the loving supportive units everyone deserves.
I hope you have fun with your other family and cynthia and that your therapy session on tuesday is fruitful and helpful to you <3

[oxymoron67]

I'm sorry about your dad.

I didn't;t do much this weekend because I had intestinal issues.

[murielle]

I'm sorry. That sucks. Hope you're feeling better.

[tonithegreat]

My weekend was back to normal life catching up after returning from my daughter’s big Texas trip. I’m still not totally caught up, either, but it felt good to rest some at home.

Gary, that’s crazy about your dad. I cannot imagine being twisted up like that. I’m super glad you share your crazy visions here in idol-land where I deeply enjoy your brand of kick-heavy communication. My husband is starting to get harder to understand in conversation because of his Parkinson’s and even though I sometimes get frustrated when I can’t understand him, I find myself wanting to cut a bitch when other people don’t have the patience to communicate with him.

[halfshellvenus]

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. :( But the jackassery is all him, and yes-- I think giving up trying to please him in any way will prove to be very liberating for you. It just takes work to get there.

We went to a celebration of life this weekend, which was very nice and very in keeping with the person being honored. We'd been dreading it, but it was less painful than I think any of us had feared.

On the plus side, our daughter was here for the day-- and then immediately flew out again the next day. It's very hard to get much of her time, and she mentioned that July was all booked up and also pretty much August at this point. I need to be living HER life instead of mine! I envy all of her adventures. :)

Your Daughter

[muchtooarrogant]

That's exactly how Lizbeth and I feel. It's good to see their growing independence, but it's so challenging to squeeze into their schedules. We're lucky though, both of ours are still in the same city.

Dan

Re: Your Daughter

[halfshellvenus]

Having them in the same city is lucky! My sister's two girls are in the larger metro area of where she lives.

Our son is staying with us right now while he studies for the bar, and then will move back in afterward for the first year of his job. The pay is less than it was initially supposed to be (blame Trump), and it's only a one-year position, so he needs to see where he'll be employed long-term. Hopefully, in our metro area.

Our daughter was the shyer of the two kids, but extremely independent. More than we would probably like, LOL! But I was exactly the same way, so it's hard to complain...

[xeena]

We'd been dreading it, but it was less painful than I think any of us had feared. oh no , i'm sorry for your loss bt i'm glad the celebration of their life was easier than you expected and a nice one <3

[halfshellvenus]

It was, thank you. So much love, from so many people she'd touched in her lifetime. That really helps.

[drippedonpaper]

Hugs! Your dad is wrong. You are wonderful and your dad is missing out by feeling that way, Gary.

[marjorica]

As someone with a truly despicable father, after the obligatory but heartfelt “Aw, man!”s etc I can impart great (sic) wisdom, but I am not going to pile more on.

All I will say is that you have done nothing wrong. Parents don’t have to like their children, but they are sort of meant to have some instinct to want to help them at least. Sorry that the silly sod has stuck this on all of you.

It’s his problem and flaw. I hope you can navigate a way through the hurt.