Green Room - Week 15 Weekend Edition
Nov. 17th, 2024 09:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
clauderainsrm posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
therealljidol I kept meaning to post a Green Room, but honestly right now I'm not really sure what to say to people.
I've been posting a lot more of my thoughts on my Facebook, but it's mostly been about politics and I'm not even going to pretend that I don't know that there are some pretty "diverse" opinions on the subject here, the same way there are everywhere. :) So I really haven't wanted to wade into that here.
I will say though that up until Friday night, even though I've been posting things pretty frequently, I hadn't had a single person unfriend me. Sure, maybe they "hid" me months ago. I don't do that with my feed... but I completely get why someone else would. I *might* need to do it at some point because one of my friend's husband tags her in *every single thing* he posts. Some of it is political (very right wing) and some is what he ate... the joke with his daughter (who I also know) is that he tags her when he goes to the bathroom. It's become a running joke but it does mean there are a LOT of posts from someone that I *didn't* friend and I've never met.
I say "until Friday night" because that's when my brother unfriended me. It wasn't over a political post, but he thought it was... and he was getting tired of the posts I was making. (One of his comments was that I should "concentrate on my life/career and I'd be more happy"... I should point out that he was CLEARLY drinking heavily, alone in his apartment, on a Friday night. Whereas I was sitting on the couch next to my wife. But that might be petty to point out. :D)
The post? "I wonder which rapist is going to win the fight tonight? The old rapist or the young rapist?"
Which was a reference to the Mike Tyson - Jake Paul "fight" and about how both of them have multiple accusations against them, Tyson actually went to jail for it. (and *still* has more accusations since he got out) Which was an angle that I haven't seen a lot of people talking about in terms of the excitement leading up to what turned out to be (from people I've seen reacting to it after the fact) more of a marketing stunt than an actual boxing match.
Clearly my brother thought at least one of these rapists I was referring to was a political figure that he admires. (I did point out In the comments to that post about how, being a Steelers fan, I *completely* understand. I ended up having a rapist on my favorite team, as one of the main figures/leaders and had to come to some sort of peace with the idea of if I could still root for the team, and had to decide - for myself - that it was bigger than one guy. So I "get" how you might try to separate those two thoughts into separate categories.)
All of this got me thinking about what I found out about my brother from my Dad and Step Mom back in the '90s vs what I found out by hanging out with him for the first time as an adult about a decade ago.
(For those who don't know, I moved away from Ohio as a pre-teen, pre-internet days and pretty much lost touch for the entire side of the family)
My stepmom actually called me in the mid-90s to let me know that my brother had been discharged from the military because he threw a party, and someone underage showed up to the party, got drunk, fell off the balcony and died. There was an investigation and my brother was being kicked out of the Air Force as a result.
Which seemed weird, even at the time. But saying "Your brother was responsible for some kid dying" is a lot to wrap your brain around. I felt sorry for him, but again, we weren't close so there was never really a time to talk to him about it. He had other people he would go to to talk about serious stuff.
It wasn't until we were able to hang out a decade ago that the subject came up and he looked really confused. He literally didn't know what I was talking about. When I explained, he got a disgusted looked on his face and told me, no, he was discharged because his commanding officer found out he was gay during Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
My Dad and Step Mom would have rather me think that my brother had been responsible for a kid dying than the reality of him being gay. Think about that for a moment. Let it sink in.
It's pretty much when I realized how grateful I was that I *had* moved away and wasn't close to that side of the family. That sort of "love" and "acceptance" was what helped lead him to the point where he's sitting alone on a Friday night, drinking heavily, and defending the people THEY love, because he IS close with them,and he DOES want them to love him... I can't quite understand it. But I do know it makes me sad to think about.
Anyway... how is YOUR week been going?
I'm bad at these transitions. So here's this week's poll: therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1173701.html
I've been posting a lot more of my thoughts on my Facebook, but it's mostly been about politics and I'm not even going to pretend that I don't know that there are some pretty "diverse" opinions on the subject here, the same way there are everywhere. :) So I really haven't wanted to wade into that here.
I will say though that up until Friday night, even though I've been posting things pretty frequently, I hadn't had a single person unfriend me. Sure, maybe they "hid" me months ago. I don't do that with my feed... but I completely get why someone else would. I *might* need to do it at some point because one of my friend's husband tags her in *every single thing* he posts. Some of it is political (very right wing) and some is what he ate... the joke with his daughter (who I also know) is that he tags her when he goes to the bathroom. It's become a running joke but it does mean there are a LOT of posts from someone that I *didn't* friend and I've never met.
I say "until Friday night" because that's when my brother unfriended me. It wasn't over a political post, but he thought it was... and he was getting tired of the posts I was making. (One of his comments was that I should "concentrate on my life/career and I'd be more happy"... I should point out that he was CLEARLY drinking heavily, alone in his apartment, on a Friday night. Whereas I was sitting on the couch next to my wife. But that might be petty to point out. :D)
The post? "I wonder which rapist is going to win the fight tonight? The old rapist or the young rapist?"
Which was a reference to the Mike Tyson - Jake Paul "fight" and about how both of them have multiple accusations against them, Tyson actually went to jail for it. (and *still* has more accusations since he got out) Which was an angle that I haven't seen a lot of people talking about in terms of the excitement leading up to what turned out to be (from people I've seen reacting to it after the fact) more of a marketing stunt than an actual boxing match.
Clearly my brother thought at least one of these rapists I was referring to was a political figure that he admires. (I did point out In the comments to that post about how, being a Steelers fan, I *completely* understand. I ended up having a rapist on my favorite team, as one of the main figures/leaders and had to come to some sort of peace with the idea of if I could still root for the team, and had to decide - for myself - that it was bigger than one guy. So I "get" how you might try to separate those two thoughts into separate categories.)
All of this got me thinking about what I found out about my brother from my Dad and Step Mom back in the '90s vs what I found out by hanging out with him for the first time as an adult about a decade ago.
(For those who don't know, I moved away from Ohio as a pre-teen, pre-internet days and pretty much lost touch for the entire side of the family)
My stepmom actually called me in the mid-90s to let me know that my brother had been discharged from the military because he threw a party, and someone underage showed up to the party, got drunk, fell off the balcony and died. There was an investigation and my brother was being kicked out of the Air Force as a result.
Which seemed weird, even at the time. But saying "Your brother was responsible for some kid dying" is a lot to wrap your brain around. I felt sorry for him, but again, we weren't close so there was never really a time to talk to him about it. He had other people he would go to to talk about serious stuff.
It wasn't until we were able to hang out a decade ago that the subject came up and he looked really confused. He literally didn't know what I was talking about. When I explained, he got a disgusted looked on his face and told me, no, he was discharged because his commanding officer found out he was gay during Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
My Dad and Step Mom would have rather me think that my brother had been responsible for a kid dying than the reality of him being gay. Think about that for a moment. Let it sink in.
It's pretty much when I realized how grateful I was that I *had* moved away and wasn't close to that side of the family. That sort of "love" and "acceptance" was what helped lead him to the point where he's sitting alone on a Friday night, drinking heavily, and defending the people THEY love, because he IS close with them,and he DOES want them to love him... I can't quite understand it. But I do know it makes me sad to think about.
Anyway... how is YOUR week been going?
I'm bad at these transitions. So here's this week's poll: therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1173701.html
no subject
Date: 2024-11-18 11:06 pm (UTC)I pay 0 attention to sports, unless it is sports in which my nieces and nephews are participating, so I had no idea their was a fight. I have only ever unfriended one person on Facebook and it was because she was obnoxious and treated me like crap, nothing to do with politics.
I'm so sorry your brother unfriended you. I have been very upset by some things friends with whom I disagree have posted, but I wouldn't unfriend them for it.
And yeah. Your step mom telling you your brother indirectly got a kid killed rather than telling you he was gay is more messed up than I even have words for right now. It makes me sad for your brother that he's had to deal with so much discrimination especially from parents. *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2024-11-18 11:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-11-19 10:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-11-19 09:01 pm (UTC)Thanks for the take on Tyson. I'm also shocked at just what people can forget and forgive. For similar reasons, I didn't shed a tear when Kobe Bryant died but did feel bad for his daughter and for his family.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-20 09:57 pm (UTC)