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therealljidol With how the weeks ended up being spaced out, this is the second Weekend Edition of Week 11!
It's also the last day of the poll for the main competition - so make sure that your voice is being heard!
Anything out there that you think needs to be getting more recognition in the votes department? https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1030811.html
With only 3 members of the Jury seated for this vote, this week is going to be interesting to see who receives immunity. I will tell you this, it is coming down to the final Juror to make this decision... unless of course it gets thrown into a tie in which case then it gets thrown into a tie-breaker.... which is pretty rare.
***
Second Chance ie already moving forward with their final topic: https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1031859.html after another brutal round of eliminations: https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1031601.html
***
Tomorrow is going to be the first official day without my least favorite co-worker. I can't recall if I posted this or not - but a couple weeks ago she put in her notice, and then insisted that she be allowed to take her PTO for almost all of those two weeks. It's not "allowed" but she complained loud and long enough at HR that they ended up just letting her do it. I'm guessing they wanted her to go away as much as I did. :)
Which means the last week or so have been great, especially since my second least favorite is on a cruise. I think she comes back this week though, I'm hoping things will be better once she does, because I liked her before she became so close with the "bad one", so maybe without that influence she will go back to being nice again.
Which isn't what I was going to talk about today. It was about work, but not about that. Just before Christmas break, the newest co-worker invited us all out to lunch, her treat. Only two of us took her up on it.
It was nice - until I was confronted with something I didn't see coming. I should have. I'm being purposefully vague, but let's chalk it up that I have food related trauma in my past and leave it at that - to the point that there are things that I actively avoid, but I've gotten better over the years. To the point that I can be at the same table as it. I just position myself so that I'm not looking at it, or smell it. Because everyone has their own triggers and that's one of mine. Probably the biggest.
It ended up right in front of me (directly across) with the person asking if I wanted to share... I tried my best to cover, but I wasn't doing a great jnb of it and my co-workers ended up being concerned asking if I was OK. I said that I was and that I'd tell them later... but it pretty much ruined lunch.
I did end up sharing the bare minimum of the story. Food related issues involving my step-father and that item. One of them chimed in with "Oh, it's PTSD. That makes sense now" and we actually ended up sharing a tiny bit of our own stories with each other.
I'm only bringing this up because since then, the new co-worker and I have actually started talking quite a bit. Not about that day, but in general - about real life, and she's mentioned things she didn't bring up that afternoon.
So what was a really embarrassing moment for me at the time has actually opened up a new friendship.
This is my vague and roundabout way of saying don't be afraid to be vulnerable. In your life, or in your work. There are people around you who can relate, even if you don't always see it right away.
It's also the last day of the poll for the main competition - so make sure that your voice is being heard!
Anything out there that you think needs to be getting more recognition in the votes department? https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1030811.html
With only 3 members of the Jury seated for this vote, this week is going to be interesting to see who receives immunity. I will tell you this, it is coming down to the final Juror to make this decision... unless of course it gets thrown into a tie in which case then it gets thrown into a tie-breaker.... which is pretty rare.
***
Second Chance ie already moving forward with their final topic: https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1031859.html after another brutal round of eliminations: https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1031601.html
***
Tomorrow is going to be the first official day without my least favorite co-worker. I can't recall if I posted this or not - but a couple weeks ago she put in her notice, and then insisted that she be allowed to take her PTO for almost all of those two weeks. It's not "allowed" but she complained loud and long enough at HR that they ended up just letting her do it. I'm guessing they wanted her to go away as much as I did. :)
Which means the last week or so have been great, especially since my second least favorite is on a cruise. I think she comes back this week though, I'm hoping things will be better once she does, because I liked her before she became so close with the "bad one", so maybe without that influence she will go back to being nice again.
Which isn't what I was going to talk about today. It was about work, but not about that. Just before Christmas break, the newest co-worker invited us all out to lunch, her treat. Only two of us took her up on it.
It was nice - until I was confronted with something I didn't see coming. I should have. I'm being purposefully vague, but let's chalk it up that I have food related trauma in my past and leave it at that - to the point that there are things that I actively avoid, but I've gotten better over the years. To the point that I can be at the same table as it. I just position myself so that I'm not looking at it, or smell it. Because everyone has their own triggers and that's one of mine. Probably the biggest.
It ended up right in front of me (directly across) with the person asking if I wanted to share... I tried my best to cover, but I wasn't doing a great jnb of it and my co-workers ended up being concerned asking if I was OK. I said that I was and that I'd tell them later... but it pretty much ruined lunch.
I did end up sharing the bare minimum of the story. Food related issues involving my step-father and that item. One of them chimed in with "Oh, it's PTSD. That makes sense now" and we actually ended up sharing a tiny bit of our own stories with each other.
I'm only bringing this up because since then, the new co-worker and I have actually started talking quite a bit. Not about that day, but in general - about real life, and she's mentioned things she didn't bring up that afternoon.
So what was a really embarrassing moment for me at the time has actually opened up a new friendship.
This is my vague and roundabout way of saying don't be afraid to be vulnerable. In your life, or in your work. There are people around you who can relate, even if you don't always see it right away.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 08:34 pm (UTC)I'm curious how the Jury and voting/immunity is going to go, so I'll be looking for that as the weeks go by, even if I'm voted out.
As for your food-related trauma: that is a valid thing, and I really dislike when people claim it couldn't be. Whatever happened in the past to CAUSE that trauma is why you don't position yourself near that food, or actively avoid it, and it should never be pushed in your face (unless you are in therapy and safely confronting the issue). However, what's nice is that you were able to share part of yourself, and your story, and that allowed others to do the same. You know how strongly I feel about that - that once we talk about trauma, others can do the same - and while I'm sorry you HAVE that trigger, it's good to get it out there. Sometimes, vulnerability is the biggest strength we have.
I'll take one second to be vulnerable and let you, and anyone who read this, in on a small secret: I'm slipping into a hypothermic coma. Please don't think I won't be playing Idol, unless you all vote me out (though my mom wants to open a DW account, so that should be interesting, haha. She's curious about what I write in Idol). I will. Not much to do in the ICU but sleep. My core temp has been between 91 and 93 degrees, which is severe, and it's taken me a VERY long time to type what I know is an incoherent comment. My next post may be from the hospital. If not, I'll just be on my couch, wrapped in heating blankets, thermal blankets, gloves, sweaters, and surrounded by space heaters. It's getting pretty dire. Thanks, cancer! But I'll fight it 'till I can't. As always.
Love to you all. Thanks for supporting me, in case I've never said it. It's an important thing to say. <3
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 09:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 09:34 pm (UTC)My mom wants to join because I deleted my Facebook, so I'm helping her. She saw this comment and thought that DW "seems like a very nice community." She and I have an odd past, but a good current relationship, and I know she's concerned, so I'm helping her set up her account. Thank you for that comment, though. Those words are so meaningful to me, and I value them greatly. <3
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 09:51 pm (UTC)I suspect you mother would not like much of what you've written for Idol, partly because some of it concerns her and things she's done (or failed to do) that have made life so emotionally difficult for you. But (the pie-eyed optimist in me says, SO willing to embrace delusion) maybe she'll learn from it.
Please get better!
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:08 pm (UTC)And NO, no she doesn't. She's here with me and already has an account (she is starting to read Idol entries right now while at my house), and she is super irritated by some of the things I've shared. But I told her I wasn't going to filter anything for her approval, and I didn't expect my friends to do the same. I'll give it a few days - at least throughout a week - and see if there is drama. If not, so be it. Knowing her, she probably won't even use the damn thing. Or if she does, it will be while visiting me while I'm on the couch and she has nothing else to do. So I'm... being very cautious (and will keep some things locked and protected to friends - only public entries will be visible to family, like Idol or health stuff). It's a fair compromise since I deleted Facebook, which was a place that made me miserable but kept me connected to family.
Anyhow, giving it a brief whirl, but no, while she's not happy, she doesn't have a say in what I get to write. If it's true, I write it, and she cannot dispute my truth. And if she wants to comment about it, she can tell me to my face, as I'm sitting right here, or type it out for the world to see, which is also fine. But honestly, as I said, she probably won't get on it much. She's busy in retirement, and I'm happy for her.
And hey, you could be VERY right. Maybe she'll learn from it, and learn more about me, about how I cope with cancer and DID, and who I really am. Sometimes, my written words explain things better than my verbal ones do. :)
Thanks, my friend - I am desperately trying. You know that I'm not ready to just... leave it all behind. I'll be fighting. <3
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:13 pm (UTC)*Hugs*
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 09:52 pm (UTC)I hope the new co-worker you mentioned is not the ablist cousin of that coworker. But if so, maybe she's learning a thing or two.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-14 12:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-14 03:27 pm (UTC)That co-worker, the one on vacation, has filed for FMLA to take care of her Mom. I'm really sad for her Mom. (Although she's been quite vocal about putting in applications elsewhere, so I'm a little suspicious of the timing, but will give her the benefit of the doubt). But I can't say that I'm sad for us. Sure, we're now TWO people down, but I think the team will be stronger for it in the long run.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-14 05:33 pm (UTC)Super happy for you, though. :-)
no subject
Date: 2019-01-17 06:58 pm (UTC)><
Possibly side-eying going on (FMLA from a job you just started is a little "suss," as our son would say).
But I'm sorry about her Mom, if it's a real thing.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 11:08 pm (UTC)That's beautifully put.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 11:49 pm (UTC)Best of luck to everyone--some serious writing this week!
no subject
Date: 2019-01-15 03:52 pm (UTC)