Green Room - Week 5 - Day 2

[clauderainsrm]

For those of you starting new jobs - really, this is a good rule for anyone, at any time, but especially your first day on the job:

If you don't know someone, and you engage them in conversation - and then start having difficulty speaking, don't mock them.

Maybe they stutter. (that was the case this time)

Maybe there is something else going on that is causing them difficulty.

Maybe they were just stumbling over their words because they were nervous.

Regardless, it's probably not a great idea to mock them by repeating sound for sound what they were trying to say.

This message brought to you by what happened to me at work today.

***

Another PSA:

If you see this thing happen, and the person who has been mocked goes to speak to the supervisor to complain about the situation, don't rush into the office as soon they are done to defend the person who did it with "They didn't mean it!"

Sure, they probably didn't "mean it". But an upsetting situation needs to be addressed to the supervisor so that it doesn't fester and can be addressed. Especially with a new employee who deals a very diverse population of children and their adult caregivers. An attitude that doesn't think twice about mocking a stranger's speech is an attitude that will probably think it's OK to make other comments.

By rushing into defend them, you are inserting yourself into a potential HR issue and causing problems with your co-worker going forward.

This message also brought to you by what happened to me at work today.

***

Yet Another PSA:

If the supervisor goes outside to talk to the employee who was mocked, so they can talk through the situation without being overheard - don't follow them out a few minutes later to hear what's going on, so you can go back and tell your friend and coworker (the person in the second scenario) and then go get them so they can come outside with you and listen in.

This message brought to you by... you get the drift.

***

You have 2 more days to get your entries in https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1009402.html

This message brought to you by me.

Comments

[murielle]

Sounds like there was a...an unpleasant, awkward, difficult, unfortunate, disturbing situation at your place of work. Your words are wise.

Cookie?

[clauderainsrm]

Absolutely, I will take a cookie!

[tjoel2]

Yikes! Does not sound like a good day.

*hugs*

[bleodswean]

oh my fucking god

I'm so sorry.

[bleodswean]

Just to put you back in a kicking mood - talk to us again about the byes.

*runs away but stops to listen*

[clauderainsrm]

That's not the discussion that will get me in a kicking mood. But good try. ;)

[flipflop_diva]

Omg! Who does something like that??

Ughh, I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is beyond ridiculous.

[murielle]

This happened to you????!!!

My apologies, Gary. I thought you were talking about this as something you'd seen happen to someone else. Which is bad enough, but...

People make me ashamed to be human some times.

[halfshellvenus]

?????

First, regarding the mocker... what an ass!

Second, regarding the snooping, rushing-to-the-defense-of-asshole-n00bie coworker... what an even bigger ass!

I'm sorry that happened, and even sorrier that it became a toxic spiral of "How your feelings and right to be respected don't matter".

I think the second coworker probably needs to be fired, for so many instances of unprofessional behavior. Though I have little faith that will happen.

Ugh, ugh, ugh. Again, I'm sorry. :(

[clauderainsrm]

There's absolutely no way she is going to be fired.

She's the one who threatened to quit if she wasn't relieved of the bulk of her workload, and it was given to me. Because I'd do it without complaining. If they were going to fire her, they would have let her walk.

[halfshellvenus]

*seethes* Why on earth would you want to keep an employee like that?

If she was severely overworked, that's a reasonable stance, but if it was the BULK of her workload that sounds like a prima donna problem.

Is this the coworker you've previously indicated was a real jerk? Because it sure seems to fit. :(

Immature ablist asshole. :(

[hwango]

What the...?! That's awful.

[bsgsix]

Well... that's some fuckery right there. It's awful and now I'm riled up because people SHOULD BE BETTER. I'm sorry they are not.

*goes to kick someone*

[megatronix]

Uggghhh that's awful! I'm so sorry! Agreeing with everyone above that people should know better and be better and it's a huge shame that they're not.

[clauderainsrm]

New information that now helps the situation make a little more sense, but amps up the potential for this to get much, much worse... the mocker is the *cousin* of person who came outside to spy on what was going on, who is close friends with the one who ran to defend her.

This is from someone on my team who heard everything - including stuff I missed during the rest of the day, where apparently "we aren't allowed to joke around anymore"... yes, their defense went from "she didn't mean it" to "she was joking". I'm not sure what planet that's a *joke*. It's not even an attempt at a joke.


But I digress... this person who heard everything said that she totally agrees with me that it was out of line and unprofessional and that I handled myself well, and that I need to report this to HR, and that if I need her to speak to them about it, to please *not* include her because she is a coward and doesn't like confrontation. So, yeah. There's that.

[clauderainsrm]

I should also point out something that makes me very uncomfortable in this situation. All of the people on "the other side" are African American women". I am the only "white cis guy" on my team and one of the very few in our office. So there's a traditional power imbalance that makes me worry that me going to report someone is going to be taken as another guy who thinks every slight done to him is the worst thing ever.

That said, I do think this environment (social services) and the situation warrants that this person be spoken to by her supervisor to make sure she's not doing that to anyone out in the community, or one of the foster kids. (Given that her job puts her in daily direct contact with populations of people with a lot of trauma)

[halfshellvenus]

Well, that does make things awkward. It shouldn't, but it does.

That other thing you mentioned ^^ is what most of us call a nepocraptic situation. There's a reason workplaces try to avoid that. :(

[murielle]

Horrible situation, Gary!

I agree that someone needs to make sure this woman understands the full weight of what she did, but I totally get your reluctance.

A personal note, I am the world's biggest jellyfish when it comes to any kind of confrontation or agro or defending myself, but when something is wrong you step up (not you you, the woman who doesn't like confrontation you) and you do the right thing. It backfires on me, a lot, but still...

Want me to kayfabe her for ya? Just saying. (Passes you cookies.)

[adoptedwriter]

That's just shitty...So sorry that happened.
Passes the cookie plate to you. (see icon)

[the_eternal_overthinker]

Awful! I am sorry to know about this. *Hugs* And you did the right thing by bringing it to the supervisor's notice.

*Here's some homemade diwali ladoos for a change :) *