Results, Topic, and a Surprise

[onyxblue1.livejournal.com]

(Posting for clauderainsrm.)

This week we lose two more personal AND fan favorites: dydan and johnmill79.

At this point that is something that will be happening every week. . . we have now reached the TOP 15!!!

Next week we will be at the TOP 10.

Yes. You read that correctly. 5 of you will be going this week.

Which 5? Well that's going to be up to you.

Not entirely though.

It's going to be up to you and 5 JUDGES (Who will be revealed later in the week).

They will comment on your entries with some constructive criticism - and most importantly they will select 5 of you to be EXEMPT FROM VOTING, thereby giving you an automatic spot in the final 10.

The 10 of you NOT selected will battle it out as normal for the final 5 spots.

So what topic are you going to have for this important week? Why your own of course! This is an open topic week. So make your choice wisely - your future in the game is riding on it.

You have until Friday June 8th at 2pm EST (gmt-4) to post your entries back here. GOOD LUCK!

(ETA, for anyone interested, this is week n-n-n-nineteen.)

Comments

[ewok-626.livejournal.com]

Talk about twists and turns...

[bettybaker.livejournal.com]

*Flails* Okay. Here's mine. Kiss Me in the Kitchen. (http://bettybaker.livejournal.com/91045.html)

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Well, I'll certainly never view the kitchen in quite the same way. I commend you on your ability to give the kitchen an actual presence. I wasn't just reading about a kitchen; rather, I was in that kitchen, that Everykitchen. This is what writing is all about, in my opinion: creating with words a world, a feeling, a moment, whatever to the point of its being tangible to the reader. You achieved this with excellence. I'd also like to give you two thumbs up on grammar and the correct usage of "its," not putting an apostrophe where it doesn't belong, even though I'm guilty of it myself at times.

So, yeah. Kudos to you!

My thoughts

[tru2myart.livejournal.com]

Wow!! I don’t think I’ve ever read an LJ Idol post that started out immediately turning me on. It had me going from HAWT to AWWW in under a minute. Very very good entry, well thought out with a killer opening line. In the past I've loved those entries of yours with the comedic tones but I have to admit I love it more when you really pull from your depths and write from your soul. This was definitely one of those soulful posts. I loved the imagery throughout and I kept finding myself itching to get out in my herb garden. :)

Good stuff Betty.

[spydielives.livejournal.com]

Summertime Blues (http://spydielives.livejournal.com/1481662.html)

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I promised to be objective and honest, so that's what I'm gonna do. Here's hoping you don't hate me for it.

Honestly, I would never have finished this post had it been on my friends list. This is not because of anything you did or that I think your writing is no good. On the contrary! It's just that I tend to skim or skip family-related posts that especially include children. That's just me on account of my misanthropic bad attitude.

But, because I have a job to do here, I stuck with the post and I'm GLAD I did! You set the story up marvelously and the manner in which you described the confused reaction of the urgent care staff is quite simply priceless. Good job! I have to say that you have to be the most accident prone family in your corner of the world. If I could, I'd send you some bubble wrap and duct tape for the holidays.

Technically, the set-up of the account is excellent, your word usage is relaxed and easy to follow, and your grammar is impressive! I can't say I'd be a regular reader if all your posts were family or kid-related but, like I said, that hasn't a thing to do with you, so please don't take offence.

All in all, I give you two thumbs up.

My thoughts

[tru2myart.livejournal.com]

A very sweet funny entry. I have to admit I didn’t see the ending coming. Maybe it was just me but as you started to describe your experience in the emergency room I got this kind of Twilight Zone feeling. I half expected there to be an M. Night "tweest" where you suddenly remembered that you had been abused and your brain had made up the baseball game while you were out cold.

I was happily relieved that that wasn't the case. :)

I loved the structure. The only thing that bothered me, and this is probably just me, was the last line. This one: "I would not ask Blues if he has stopped abusing his wife yet." For some reason that sentence keeps throwing me off. I don't know if it's the way it's set up or what but I'm having trouble reading/understanding it if that makes sense.

Other than that, very good.

[beldar.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, this won't self-destruct in 10 seconds. (http://beldar.livejournal.com/242290.html)

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

You alarm me more than I can possibly express. While reading this, I envisioned a man in a long trench coat (as opposed to those micro-mini trenchies made popular by the go-go dancer spies of the late 60s) whispering in my ear: "If I tell you, I'll have to kill you."

Written work that gives me visions, any kind of visions, of this sort of intensity impresses me. That said, your post really impressed me. Some of the spacing issues threw me off a tad, but not so much that I have to call you bad names for typing or grammar discrepancies.

Considering the subject matter, your self-deprecation was both amusing and endearing. Knowing that folks like you were/are involved in security matters in this country actually gives me a bit more faith in the entire system. It's depressing to think that the TS people are all like The X-Files' Cancer Man.

Out of a possible 5 waving flags, I give you 4.

My thoughts

[tru2myart.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, I was anxious for you this week. You're my friend and I love you dearly and you entries have varied from surprisingly good to mediocre. This was astoundingly good. I found myself wanting to sit and listen to you talk about you past around a campfire on a starry night in the woods.

I think you just found your niche hon. This is interesting, intriguing stuff. I would love to hear more.

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

Naughty, naughty. (http://deyaniera.livejournal.com/1045625.html)

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I know I've told you this before, but I have to say again: honey, you have a serious way with words!

This story piqued my interest and that's saying a lot, considering I have no libido of which to speak. I'm in awe of your ability to trigger this.

There's only one problem I see with your post, and this is just a personal preference of mine, so take it with a block of salt, not just a grain. There's a certain inconsistency in your usage of erotic language. It's like, at a certain point, you're reaching for the dreamy/high art erotica writing style (i.e. My fantasies were waiting for the chance for me to kiss and caress another woman. I didn't have to wait long.) but, at another point, you're immersing yourself in the pornographic/deep stimulation writing style (i.e. She came first, and I think it made me cum just from knowing I'd made another woman cum.). I have no problem with either writing style. In fact, I enjoy them both immensely. The issue I have with combining them is that it's like having a speed bump on the Autobahn. It breaks the stride of the reading experience.

Either style would have worked for the tale you had to share. It could have been expressed in a way to emphasise the beauty, wonder, and eroticism of such an experience or it could have been expressed to achieve maximum climax not only for yourself, but for any lucky would who read it. I'm not saying you didn't achieve this with the manner in which you wrote it, using both methods of expression. All I'm saying is that the combining of forms diminished the full effect. I'd personally like to see you write this account in both styles just to see how they would be received by readers.

So that's my only beef regarding your post. I can't say anything about your grammar or spelling. Yours is an immaculate writing achievement. I envy you.

I give this two nipples and a cock way up.

[oberonia.livejournal.com]

Washing Baby (http://oberonia.livejournal.com/782391.html)

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

The title of your link had me groaning. Oh no! Am I gonna have to suffer through another "aw isn't she the kyoootist infant ever, splashing about in her bubble bath? I'm such a happeh mumsie!" Gag.

Imagine my joy to find a short story/scenario featuring Holy Rollers! This was the coolest surprise ever! Thank you! That's all I can say about this, 'cos I enjoyed the tale and couldn't pay attention to any grammar issues as a result. I don't know if you have any, and I don't care.

Out of five raised Bibles, I give you 4.8.

[twirlandswirl.livejournal.com]

THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! (http://twirlandswirl.livejournal.com/346690.html)

Why, yes, I AM posting before the last minute! Shock of shocks! ;)

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I found a couple of typos in your post, but no glaring mistakes made in the spirit of ignorance, so I'm not going to poke at you because of these. Just mentioning them.

With the technicalities out of the way, I must commend you on a fine story of horror told extremely well for maximum humour effect. When something like this happens, a person tends not to suffer from embarrassment afterward. It's a truly desensitizing moment in your life, eh?

Anyway, your construction of the scenario and all involved parties was spot on. I was there with you, suffering the mortification of the opening door and the frustration with the possessed computer. This is quite an achievement you've made, placing the reader in your shoes and having him/her experience every nuance of the sitcom-level Moment of Dread.

I give you 4 sanitary napkins out of a possible 5. .....and a new laptop, if only virtually.

The Scent of Submission

[shannon-elaine.livejournal.com]

http://shannihilation.livejournal.com/1310237.html

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Maybe if you hadn't started out saying that the scenario was inspired by a BPAL scent, I wouldn't have been so inclined to view this as a kind of advertisement for the scent instead of an erotic rhapsody brought about by the presence of the scent.

It's extremely well-written, though, and it made me all tingly and wanting to be collared again .... someday. I noticed one typo: you meant "do," but you have "so" near the beginning of the entry. I do that all the time because the damned keys are beside each other! Ah well.

Out of 10 lashes, I give you 6. And I would love to read more of your BDSM-related erotica if you're inclined to share. :)

[oceansedge.livejournal.com]

That ol' white magic has me in it's spell... (http://oceansedge.livejournal.com/552917.html)

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Wow. Just wow.

I could find no grammatical problems with your post. I could find no spelling mistakes. Here, you are flawless.

The post itself is flawless. It comes across as a research paper, documenting sources to back up your theories, and stating those theories clearly for anyone, Pagan or otherwise, to have the opportunity to comprehend. I may be a bit biased here, because I wholeheartedly agree with your viewpoints. Quantum Physics is the key to Everything IMHO. Once we break the secret code of Quantum Physics, everything will be understood and everything will end, so we can begin again to solve a new mystery.

You're a brilliant writer and a potentially brilliant philosopher. Out of 5 spinning pentagrams, I give you.... FIVE.

[tryslora]

It's all about choice

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Your post is a true eye-opener for anyone who thinks they have all the answers they'll ever need. The way you've set up your entry, giving the history of your present position and taking the reader through how you reached your conclusions is both insightful and engrossing. I was held by your words from the beginning of your post to the very end. To be honest, I was left with wanting more of your world views. Dr. Bob most assuredly did his job successfully with you, but he couldn't have achieved such success if you hadn't been open and willing to receiving the gift of wisdom he imparted.

My only problem with the post is the name of the instructor: Dr. Bob. Any Muppet Show aficionado would be sidetracked with the sound of Janice in their minds saying "Doctah BOB Doctah BOB!" If he has a different name you could use, that'd be great. If not, well then, us Muppet fans will just have to cope.

You've done well here, dear. I'll be re-reading this post many times in the future.

[wbahner.livejournal.com]

http://wbahner.livejournal.com/2426735.html

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

You should make more posts like this in your journal proper. It's an excellent verbal painting of life in Midwestern America, and is therefore very educational to anyone who has never visited or lived there, especially non-Americans. It's something to consider. I give you 3.5 out of 5 grilled kebabs.

[agirlnamedluna.livejournal.com]

choices (http://agirlnamedluna.livejournal.com/391713.html)

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Of all the entries I've been charged to judge, yours is the most intimate. It took an extreme level of bravery and self awareness to not only write this, but to write it for public consumption. There were some grammatical oddities, but I attribute that to English being a second language. You write better English than many English speakers I know. This means that your post is pretty much perfect from where I'm standing.

Your courage to express the dysfunction in your family indicates to me a very special soul worthy of recognition. It wouldn't surprise me in the least to discover years down the road that someone read your journal entry and was saved by it, literally. What you've done here is both cathartic and compassionate, and I salute you.

[welfy.livejournal.com]

http://welfy.livejournal.com/2332498.html

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

This is pretty much the post I needed to read right now, considering I lost my dad a year ago this month. It was both heartbreaking and comforting, so thanks for that.

Usually, this isn't the kind of post of which I'm very fond. Family-oriented posts are just not my cuppa, but this is a personal hang-up of mine and I refuse to let it colour my opinions of your LJ Idol offering.

Technically, the entry is wonderful. Your schooling in writing is more than evident, although I suspect you taught your instructors a thing or two as well. Good students are almost always good because they're already exceptional at what it is they're studying. It's obvious that writing is a passion and a natural talent on your part. Congratulations!

The construction of your tribute to Dad is flawless, how you allow your younger brother's own written tribute carry the story forward. Did you give this thought before writing it, or did you feel it was just the right route to take when you picked up the virtual pen? Either way, I feel it's a brilliant move.

All in all, a treasure for any reader, both emotionally and technically!

[the-dark-snack.livejournal.com]

Welcome to My Breakdown ... (http://the-dark-snack.livejournal.com/168275.html)

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I read agirlnamedluna's entry before reading yours, and dubbed it the most intimate of the posts I'd so far read. You tie her in this arena, m'dear.

To possess such courage to discuss the people and events in your life that put you on the path you now tread amazes and humbles me. Your language is not technically the best in the world, as I found a few grammatical errors here and there, but the emotion that drives the post overshadows any constructive issues found therein.

You'd do well leading a support group here on LJ, or anywhere, to be honest. Your candor and openness could be of so much help to a bevy of individuals and, in turn, their input by be beneficial to you.

[jesterstear.livejournal.com]

Time to abandom my trademark humor and get serious... (http://jesterstear.livejournal.com/1457861.html)

It's the longest one yet, and quite possibly the one I'm most proud of and attached to.

You've been judged!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Excellent excellent rant! It's intelligent, well-written, concise, supported with solid statistics and evidence, and communicated in a language only morons would have difficulty understanding. I'm deeply impressed with both the subject and the method in which it is argued. Not only did you successfully write a very brilliant post, but you also gained my respect, for what that's worth.

Out of five loaded guns, I give you five!