Green Room - Week 16 - Day 2

[clauderainsrm.livejournal.com]

I went to see the Lemonheads tonight, and I really wish that I hadn't.

For those not up on your 90s music trivia, there was a time when the Lemonheads were a fairly big name. Nirvana was opening up the mainstream, and scores of "alternative bands" were streaming in behind them. The Lemonheads were one of the better known of those.

It was the worst show that I've ever seen.

Keep in mind, I go to a lot of shows, so one of them would have to be the worst.

But this was the first time that I've ever seen someone who so very clearly didn't want to be there. Watching him as he sang, the distance in his eyes was heartbreaking.

We ended up leaving halfway through the set, it was getting so hard to not just stand there crying. I'll admit, I did my share of that before we left.

It wasn't just that he was "on something", although I'm sure that he was. It was that something so joyous as music was doing nothing for him. All of these wonderful songs that he had created and recorded, all of this happiness that he had been giving to other people, it wasn't reaching him any longer.

If it ever did. I hope that it did, because the idea that you could tap into that spark, that life that exists in your own work and come back with nothing. . . that's incredibly depressing. The fact that it seems to be the case now, well, that's pretty darn depressing as well. Maybe more so if it was something that he lost.

It's late, I'm exhausted - but I felt like I should share that. Why? Because you should be loving what you do.

Even if it gets tough. Especially if it gets tough.

Even if you aren't quite happy with what you are putting out in a particular week. Because being able to create something, and share it with others is an incredible gift. Never forget that.

Relish it.

Please.