LJ Idol Presents:

You are commenting with regards to this friend's only post (excerpted)

ETA:

I think I should have known better.

Everyone deep down, I think, wants to be liked. I need it, because when the paranoia hits I can make the nearest person I am not sure about my number-one-target. I have damaged more than one relationship that way.

Reacting in hurt and anger when a proverbial stone is tossed isn't unusual; keeping the volley going isn't either. Believing one's opponent is suddenly trying to make a sincere effort at stopping the game takes a leap of faith from either side.

Once (or one hundred times) bitten, a tad shy... I am sure.

Laughing? I think not. Apologizing... trying again and again, yep.

But Kelly, you really are trying to win at any cost, just like you said you would.

Gary... when you are not dealing with personal issues, please contact me.

ETA: Note... this was a Friend's only post that you were still able to view. I never hid anything. I never meant to hurt your feelings. I still don't. I think, what was originally intended to be a dual harmless jab/curious poke (I still don't think it is your style and that is a compliment, whether you believe it or not) has gone way over the top. Whether there is more going on here than I can see, I don't know.

I am not lobbing any more snowballs. I am trying, VERY GINGERLY, to stop.

If that means I need to leave the competition, then that is what I need to do. Not because I have something to prove, frankly to you or to any other player, but because I am hurting Gary (at whose invitation I began the game) or I am spoiling the fun (for the contestants and fans who participate).

I should have let this go hours ago, but the mental illness that I might fight (like the blindness, deafness, or whatever-ness that others refuse to let keep them from a so called "normal life") is hitting me kind of hard right now. Unfortunately for me, it can be a more visible condition, through the words that I write.