Work Room - Week 5
Jan. 10th, 2017 10:22 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
clauderainsrm.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
therealljidolThe results are up: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/967722.html
There is another member of our 100 Week Club: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/967458.html
and a new topic: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/968050.html
I also brought you a special treat - one of the most iconic members of the 100 Club, and definitely a bit of a legend in Idol circles.
She is one of those people who I have seen grow as a writer over the years. Which has been awesome, but even better, I've been able to see her life transform. That's one of my favorite things, ever. (and she is one of them as well)
Welcome to your Mentor for this week - the one and only![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gratefuladdict!
***
Hello, Idolers!! Thanks for having me this week. Let's talk about setting the mood!
The ability to create and sustain mood and tone is integral to great writing. This encompasses everything from the chill that permeates a horror story to the impish decadence of pillow talk, from the impassioned persuasive essay to the upbeat, friendly and professional tone of corporate email. It's a skill that draws your reader in as you build your narrative.
So, how do we do that?
For me, the biggest tool is rhythm. When I want to up the stress level in a piece - for suspense, hysteria, etc. - I create disjointed sentences that don't flow well. I'll do several short, staccato sentences in a row, and occasionally throw in a long, run-on sentence, so your reading pace starts to raise your blood pressure a bit.
If you want to see how a master does that, read The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe. If your heart isn't racing by the end, you have nerves of steel!
You can apply that same technique to create other moods. If you're going for surreal disjointed dream state (my personal guilty pleasure), you can write long, stream-of-conscious sentences that observe more than they judge or act. If you're making an argument about human rights or the culinary merit of sweet potato fries, start slow and measured, then build up to a crescendo of impassioned personal statements.
The key is to read it aloud, or have a friend read it to you. Make sure their voice changes where it should. Make sure they speed up or slow down in sync with the piece. If they don't, you might want to look at your sentence flow again. Shift things until your writing evokes that mood from them.
Another big piece is word choice.
If you are writing that a woman is good-looking, for example, there are a lot of words you could choose from. Is she beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, good-looking, handsome?
Take a step back and think about connotation, rather than just the denotation (literal meaning) of the word. For example, when a woman is described as "handsome," most of us tend to imagine someone whose features or dress are not particularly delicate or feminine. I imagine this woman to be someone who sees wardrobe as serviceable, but is neat and well groomed.
Conversely, if you describe her as "beautiful," I get something really different.* I imagine someone with striking feminine features - probably long hair, big eyes, and a curvy shape. I also infer something about the speaker's perspective - calling someone beautiful could suggest that person has "stars in the eyes" and is awed by her beauty.
And it's not only the connotation to consider here. Say your choices aloud, alone and embedded in a sentence, and see how the words feel in your mouth. They become part of that rhythm as well.
One last thought to consider! Don't underestimate the role that empathy plays in creating strong moods in your writing. If you're writing a personal essay, you might be doing this without realizing it! If you're writing fiction, it takes a bit more work. But if you can immerse yourself emotionally in the moment you are describing, a lot of that mood will come through naturally.
That's enough out of me! How do YOU create mood and tone in your pieces? Are there certain voices or rhythms that feel natural or more intimidating?
After ten seasons of Idol, have you mastered the ominous "hippie about to be kicked" tone?
*Disclaimer: Bear in mind that different cultures and subcultures can have very different connotations for words! It helps to have others read your draft and let you know if any of your word choices feel off to them.
There is another member of our 100 Week Club: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/967458.html
and a new topic: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/968050.html
I also brought you a special treat - one of the most iconic members of the 100 Club, and definitely a bit of a legend in Idol circles.
She is one of those people who I have seen grow as a writer over the years. Which has been awesome, but even better, I've been able to see her life transform. That's one of my favorite things, ever. (and she is one of them as well)
Welcome to your Mentor for this week - the one and only
gratefuladdict! ***
Hello, Idolers!! Thanks for having me this week. Let's talk about setting the mood!
The ability to create and sustain mood and tone is integral to great writing. This encompasses everything from the chill that permeates a horror story to the impish decadence of pillow talk, from the impassioned persuasive essay to the upbeat, friendly and professional tone of corporate email. It's a skill that draws your reader in as you build your narrative.
So, how do we do that?
For me, the biggest tool is rhythm. When I want to up the stress level in a piece - for suspense, hysteria, etc. - I create disjointed sentences that don't flow well. I'll do several short, staccato sentences in a row, and occasionally throw in a long, run-on sentence, so your reading pace starts to raise your blood pressure a bit.
If you want to see how a master does that, read The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe. If your heart isn't racing by the end, you have nerves of steel!
You can apply that same technique to create other moods. If you're going for surreal disjointed dream state (my personal guilty pleasure), you can write long, stream-of-conscious sentences that observe more than they judge or act. If you're making an argument about human rights or the culinary merit of sweet potato fries, start slow and measured, then build up to a crescendo of impassioned personal statements.
The key is to read it aloud, or have a friend read it to you. Make sure their voice changes where it should. Make sure they speed up or slow down in sync with the piece. If they don't, you might want to look at your sentence flow again. Shift things until your writing evokes that mood from them.
Another big piece is word choice.
If you are writing that a woman is good-looking, for example, there are a lot of words you could choose from. Is she beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, good-looking, handsome?
Take a step back and think about connotation, rather than just the denotation (literal meaning) of the word. For example, when a woman is described as "handsome," most of us tend to imagine someone whose features or dress are not particularly delicate or feminine. I imagine this woman to be someone who sees wardrobe as serviceable, but is neat and well groomed.
Conversely, if you describe her as "beautiful," I get something really different.* I imagine someone with striking feminine features - probably long hair, big eyes, and a curvy shape. I also infer something about the speaker's perspective - calling someone beautiful could suggest that person has "stars in the eyes" and is awed by her beauty.
And it's not only the connotation to consider here. Say your choices aloud, alone and embedded in a sentence, and see how the words feel in your mouth. They become part of that rhythm as well.
One last thought to consider! Don't underestimate the role that empathy plays in creating strong moods in your writing. If you're writing a personal essay, you might be doing this without realizing it! If you're writing fiction, it takes a bit more work. But if you can immerse yourself emotionally in the moment you are describing, a lot of that mood will come through naturally.
That's enough out of me! How do YOU create mood and tone in your pieces? Are there certain voices or rhythms that feel natural or more intimidating?
After ten seasons of Idol, have you mastered the ominous "hippie about to be kicked" tone?
*Disclaimer: Bear in mind that different cultures and subcultures can have very different connotations for words! It helps to have others read your draft and let you know if any of your word choices feel off to them.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
RE: tone
Date: 2017-01-11 04:28 am (UTC)Re: tone
Date: 2017-01-11 05:28 am (UTC)Re: tone
Date: 2017-01-11 05:35 am (UTC)Or, if you'd like to post it publicly and get more feedback, just link me when it's up!
Re: tone OKAY HERE IT IS
Date: 2017-01-11 05:39 am (UTC)Re: tone OKAY HERE IT IS
Date: 2017-01-11 10:03 pm (UTC)Okay, so here are my thoughts.
I think that when you're creating a stressful mood for the reader - something that will disorient them, or build suspense, etc. - it's helpful to use those tools sparingly, and to bookend those sections in some semblance of normalcy in your prose. I think your average reader can get through a couple of paragraphs in that frantic run-on sentence style, but after awhile they will begin to scan in self-defense. I think the run-on sentence has more impact when it's contrasted with more normal prose here and there to anchor it.
You had a really interesting idea, and some strong imagery. I really liked this line:
these whispers in my dreams your wrinkled cheek like a thousand broken furrows across the dust bowl, this ancient, ragged cheek pressed against mine, her lips sucking at my brow drawing out my life and energy...
It gave me a visceral reaction, imagining this crone, with her dry wrinkled skin, her malevolent intent, putting her lips to someone's brow and stealing their life. This was strong.
You had a lot of description around the house itself, and I found myself eager to get past the layout of each room and on to more action in the story. But then there was one section where you began to describe the people who had lived there, and that perked me right up:
"not the bedrooms one after another where two generations of upper middle-class girls grew up with their cheaper by the dozen brothers and bureaucratic father and social climbing mother struggling to reach toward her betters and be kind to those below her station but not let them in with her no not yet..."
So overall, I would say this is a strong premise with a few things I'd love to see more of (characterizations, breaks in what I'd call "frantic prose"). I can't wait to see the final version!
Re: tone OKAY HERE IT IS
Date: 2017-01-11 10:19 pm (UTC)