The Killing Floor - Week 11

[clauderainsrm.livejournal.com]

I'm going to open it back up to everyone this week. BUT I will ask that if you HAVE gone before, to wait 24 hours and if there is still one of the 5 spots available, go ahead and take it.

If you haven't though - this is a great chance to come in and get some of that good ole constructive criticism that you have been craving!

Comments

[bleodswean.livejournal.com]

Okay, guys and girls, I wrote a 53,000 word novella last year. Shopping it around has proven frustrating. I'm on the verge of e-booking the damned thing.

Here's the first 5,500 words if anyone is so inclined to read about Death, tattooists, a photographer, and love.

http://bleodswean.livejournal.com/170037.html

Concrit I'm looking for is: flow, characterization, Death's voice, does this first chapter hook and why or why not?

TIA!!!

[theun4givables.livejournal.com]

Going along with the same theme of "Opening Chapters of Books," in this here Killing Room --

This is my potential first chapter of my book "Gray Morning."

http://theun4givables.livejournal.com/179829.html

My questions are the same as bleodswean's below: Is it a good hook? Does it give you a good impression of these characters and their relationship with one another? Does it flow well?

I am also curious about the technical, but I want to know if the emotion comes through or not, more than anything else. Is the dialogue engaging? Is it paced well?

Hit me with everything you've got. :)

Sticking to the theme of opening chapters of books (lol)...

[n3m3sis43.livejournal.com]

This was my week 2 Idol piece this season. It got some really nice comments but performed worse in the polls than almost anything else I have written so far in season 9. So I'm guessing there are lots of ways it could be improved, and would love to hear all about them.

I would love crit of any kind, and be as brutal as you want as long as it is constructive. That said, this is the beginning of larger work, so whether it makes you want to read more is important to me. Always important to me are voice, POV, characterization, and, well, everything else. <3

http://n3m3sis43.livejournal.com/102257.html