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clauderainsrm ([personal profile] clauderainsrm) wrote in [community profile] therealljidol2021-01-09 11:50 am

Tribal Council - Merge Tribe 2

Welcome back to Tribal Council. Line up your torches in the back and take a seat.




I'll bring in the members of the Jury.

jenwithapen, bittyjane, megatronix, impoetry, n3m3sis43, minikin25 and wolfden, voted out at the last tribal council.

They are here to gather information only. They will have a big decision to make at the end of the game, and what you saw and do here will play into that.

Let's get started.

bsgsix - Congratulations on your second immunity win. There was a lot of talk at the last tribal council about how you could end up running the table with immunity wins and get to the end. Which, is possible. But what I didn't see mentioned is that it doesn't guarantee victory. You could get the voters on your entries but not win over the support of your fellow contestants. Someone else could easily say "I never had immunity. I had to work harder to get here." How do you navigate that aspect? Winning challenges without risking alienating the people who will ultimately be making the decision on who wins this game?

lawchicky819  - You were on the hot seat last time, and if the talk can be believed about how people are making their decisions, you are on the hot seat once again this time around.  Is there anything you can say at this point to sway the undecided to keep you around?  What are the advantages that might not be immediately on someone's mind? 

murielle - You've said several times that you don't want to "pick off the weak".  The original Asaga tribe has gone from being dominant to now being down in numbers.  Does that mean you aren't going to be sending one of them home this week?  Can an original Luzon be expecting to see their name on your parchment?  Or is that decision going to be based on week to week, regardless of other bonds in the game? 

adoptedwriter - There was talk last week about "wanting to keep the entertaining people around" to keep things interesting as the game progresses.  Is that something you think about when you are responding to these questions?  

bleodswean - In a regular season of Idol, and even during the mini seasons over here at DW, vote totals have been a lot higher for most people. Do you think that since no one is eliminated directly due to votes that it impacts the "get out the vote" aspect?  Only the person with the most votes benefits with immunity, so anyone else who might otherwise be fighting for every vote doesn't bother?   Do you think that will change the closer we get to the end, when people feel less "safe"? 

eeyore_grrl  -   Last week the vote ended up being split between the two people with the fewest number of votes, with some scattered among random members of the tribe.   If that ends up happening again - that means you are a target.  How do you shift the target off yourself, knowing that you are also in their sights? 

gunwithoutmusic -  Back in Borneo, Dr Sean had his "alphabetic strategy" where he would vote for people in alphabetical order. Part of that is that he wanted to be seen as "a good guy" and it kept him from alienating anyone.  But "coincidentally" everyone from the original Pagong tribe had names in at the front of the alphabet.  Do you think the "vote for the lowest" might change once the person with the lowest number of votes is a member of the original Luzon tribe? 

swirlsofpurple - How much of the decision on who to vote for is already made before you come here, and how much of a factor are the answers you are hearing?  How important is it to "read the room" in trying to make sure you are on the right side of the numbers? 

halfshellvenus - Your name showed up on a ballot last week. How does it feel to see that, especially when it's the first vote? Would it be better to be voted out and see it coming, or for it to be a blindside? 

alycewilson  - In the conversation of  "fairness" vs "threat" -  if you end up going home would you rather it be because people thought it was "fair" to vote you out, or would you rather them get rid of you because they saw you as a threat to their plans to win to the game? 

flipflop_diva - What were your biggest takeaways from the last tribal council?

 
Round Two 


alycewilson -  I'm so glad to see you writing poetry again.  It feels like there is an entire "class" of Idol participants who don't know this side of you.  I was wondering who would go with this take for the prompt, and in retrospect, I probably should have put money on it being you.   Other people have mentioned other lines, so I'll skip those and go right for " as steadfast as her love for us, born in that splashy decade", there's so much captured here of a time remembered, and lost.   A memory you can enter whenever you want, but where your current self does not belong.  The connections are obvious, as is why you went with this particular image. So instead I'll ask you why you decided to go with poetry?  What was it to said this should be told in that format, rather than prose?

swirlsofpurple - The idea of a funeral set in the future was as interesting in itself as the character studies were. It's a simple idea, but I can't recall having read, or even thought too much about it before. I kept going back and forth on it as I read.  But then that ending hit. My jaw literally dropped and Cynthia had to ask what was going on because I just started chuckling.  Setting it in the future was one of those things that could have caused more problems than it solved, by having to explain too much and distract for the narrative - I think you managed to strike a decent balance, but why was that important to you? 

gunwithoutmusic - I'm really glad to have seen the update in the comments. I hope that things continue to head in a good direction.  It was a gut punch to read, and I'm sure even more of one to actually live.  The emotional strain on mental states, and relationships, during the pandemic is something I'm sure is going to be studied for years to come.  Which doesn't make it any better to know that other people are also going through it, but I hope it makes you feel a *little* less alone.  Last week you said you were taking a break from your "walk in the woods" stories, but even though you never left your house, this was very much in the same spirit of introspection.  What was it like to find the narrative beats - not in an old memory, which a lot of people do - but in something you are experiencing in real time? 

lawchicky819 -   That story.  Wow.  That story.  :D    I'm always interested in seeing the thought process to why someone picked a particular tale to tell.  Was this the first thing you want about when you saw the prompt or did you have to narrow down your choices?   Given your answer to the last question asked though, and this entry,  how does "I'm done enabling people who don't want to be helped in a real way."  come into play?  


flipflop_diva - So you're saying that I've wasted the last couple of decades?  What are I am supposed to do now with this giant hole in my backyard?  The mole men I've befriended are going to be very disappointed to learn that we can't get to China...  This was a charming look into that moment in time when everything was possible. Unless adults distracted you with candy to sabotage your dreams!   I've noticed that when people post non-fiction, they always include pictures.  What do you think works better - including them at the end or interspersed throughout the story? 

murielle - I started reading this and went "Wait.. it's going there????" before realizing that it was a nightmare.  The heart of this seems to be the moments in between actually digging into what her Aunt Bev left behind, the every day human interactions as she prepares to dig into the past.  They are framed between the fear of what can be and the promise of what it is come.  What is it about those moments, those chatting with people, and taking the time out to eat McDonalds, that speak to you?  Why are they important to include between the digging scenes? 


bleodswean - Sometimes I worry about you. ;)   Your dark imagery continues to delight: "Those you buried beneath the rotting oak leaves... wrap yourself around their empty bones", but maybe that says more about your readers than it does you.  ;)    The scream of an old life ending, to wrapping yourself around death, it's quite the cycle.  You stated the this started as something else, but morphed into something else, like someone transforming into a dark creature.  I'm curious where that starting point was and when you started to realize that the idea was changing shape.  

adoptedwriter  -  I loved the rhythm of this, how the structure was broken up into different repeating beats.  Just glancing at it before the first read I thought it was going to be poetry, but quickly realized my mistake.  I like how you played with it.  There's some really good moments in this.  I liked that the main "dig" (her digging in) was something that I missed the first read through.  Which sounds like a weird compliment, but I like that I missed that you had used the word, but knew that was where the prompt had come in.  It was only when I reread that I noticed you had put the word in there... the last sentence's use on the other hand was a little too "on the nose" for me with the usage.   The first two lines though really nail where you are going with this though and it carries through the piece really well.   I'm curious, did you think of the incident first as "digging in" or were you thinking of the "groovy buttons" book and worked your way back from there? 

eeyore_grrl  - Other people have already mentioned both of the lines that I was originally going to mention. So I'll go with something different and mention the impact of "and gifted it to me with her own self."  It was found, worked, loved and made into something much greater than just glass.  It became part of the protections from her, keeping those spirits at bay.  Your work is always great, and listening to it just makes it better.    Your Mother liked it - which, of course she did, it was great.  But since this is question time - what would you have done if she hadn't?  Or, if her reaction had been more "It's OK" 



NOTE - I'm getting an error message when I try to add more questions here.  So I added the last two from the second round in the comments)


Third round - I'm just going to throw a question out there and whoever wants to answer them can do so: 

You've seen lawchicky's pitch for why she should stay.   Does seeing someone clearly want to stay in the game have any impact on you at all?  As opposed to seeing people say "I'm over this format" or "this is a strain on me"... this is someone who wants to keep going.   Does that make you go "We need to keep her?" OR "Anyone who wants to play this game needs to go?" 

Does anyone else want to make a pitch about why THEY should stay? 

***

"[personal profile] bsgsix  - Do you want to give your immunity to someone else, or are you keeping it? "
"
No, I’m going to hold onto my immunity again. It’s a safe move at the moment. If it’s time to vote - I’m ready!"

***

Alright then.   Unless anyone has anything else.  *looks around, no one says anything*
 

Ok.  It's time to vote.  Head on up to the voting urn and write down the name of the person you would like to eliminate from this game (and then send that to me at clauderainsrm@gmail.com by Tuesday, Jan 12th at 5pm ET) 
If you have a hidden immunity idol, or any other special power, and would like to play it, tell me that in your email. 


bleodswean: (Default)

[personal profile] bleodswean 2021-01-09 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)
In a regular season of Idol, and even during the mini seasons over here at DW, vote totals have been a lot higher for most people. Do you think that since no one is eliminated directly due to votes that it impacts the "get out the vote" aspect? Only the person with the most votes benefits with immunity, so anyone else who might otherwise be fighting for every vote doesn't bother? Do you think that will change the closer we get to the end, when people feel less "safe"?

Yes, this is exactly what I think! I don't see any reason for any of us to rally votes at this point in the game. And since most of us pimp for votes for the entire stable rather than just ourselves, it's even more pointless at this point.

I honestly - and I'm in no way trying to take anything at all away from the current champion writer - see no way to come even close to her consistent vote tallies.

It's a wait and pray game.
flipflop_diva: (Default)

[personal profile] flipflop_diva 2021-01-10 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
I agree on the no way to come close, unless I can snap 30 imaginary friends into existence :) I'm wondering if maybe as the poll shrinks, the gap will close? I feel like in regular Idol the vote counts get higher as it moves toward the end, though I could be making that up in my head, and also this season is so different that I don't know if that will hold true.

I guess wait and see is all we can do!

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[personal profile] gunwithoutmusic - 2021-01-10 01:54 (UTC) - Expand
bsgsix: (Default)

[personal profile] bsgsix 2021-01-09 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Your first question is something I know a lot of people want to see addressed, and I was actually going to email you in private. Instead, I'll answer honestly here - I've always answered honestly, so, I'll just answer in public - and let people respond if they want to. I also want to talk about where my votes come from - well, the votes I KNOW about...

I'm breaking up your first question into two parts:

Congratulations on your second immunity win.

Thank you! I get the feeling that not everyone is happy about this, but I worked very hard to write an entry as I was in severe hypothermia and psychosis from a myxedema coma state. Nonfiction pieces are my strongest pieces, and deviating from that formula would be silly at this point! (Though if the topic lends to something lighter, I'm going to aim for something lighter next time around - but it will still be nonfic. That's been my go-to since Season 6, when I wrote under a different name!)

There was a lot of talk at the last tribal council about how you could end up running the table with immunity wins and get to the end. Which, is possible. But what I didn't see mentioned is that it doesn't guarantee victory. You could get the voters on your entries but not win over the support of your fellow contestants. Someone else could easily say "I never had immunity. I had to work harder to get here." How do you navigate that aspect? Winning challenges without risking alienating the people who will ultimately be making the decision on who wins this game?

This is my biggest concern, and this is what I want to address. Let's say I win every immunity challenge (I doubt it, but given the past two weeks, let's say I do). I get to the end, most people here are upset/feel as though that was an unfair advantage, no matter how hard I worked (it's a game, so I hope that's not the case, but I already know it is, unfortunately). The Jury sees this upset. If that's the case - no, I'm not going to win overall. My writing could be the strongest here, and I'm not going to win. My writing could be "just okay," and I still won't win. I think that by winning these immunity challenges - something new to all of us, since that didn't happen in Idol - it's hurting me. I don't think it guarantees an OVERALL win. It allows me to keep writing every week, which is why I came here in the first place, but it doesn't guarantee the Jury will choose me to win in the end.

And I'm not saying that I don't work hard. I do. I write very emotional, hard-hitting pieces that often leave me wrecked for the rest of the night/next day. I read them out loud. I search for photos that go with them. I sometimes add voice recordings. I do everything I can to create a piece that touches upon survival (a nod to our game) and that embraces the topic. I've written in coma states (twice - I didn't talk about the first one, but that was a month ago), I've written at 4 a.m. while I had COVID in November, I've written while teaching my son during the middle of this pandemic (since our school system has sent all the kids back even though we have active cases in our town - I was one of them), and I just - keep writing. If I stop writing, I'm honestly afraid my brain will go to a dark place. Winter is an awful season for me, mentally and physically. The meds I take for my conditions, mentally and physically, aren't working as well as I (or my docs) would like. So I write, I create, and I will always do my best, because I DO need it to survive.

So I'm honestly VERY worried that I'm alienating people. I have, for now, stopped asking for people to vote for me on DW (I didn't bother this week because I've been ill), and the one time I tried to ask for votes on Twitter, people said, "I'm not creating a DW account just to vote once." So - yeah. I have no social media outreach for Survivor besides DW. And I don't know everyone who has an account on DW (though imagine that omnipotence, lol).

Now - to address where votes come from.

I know of five to six people who do vote for me every week. But those five to six people sometimes vote for other players here - not every SINGLE player, but sometimes, other players than just myself. Those people are my parents - yes, they created accounts to read Survivor during the week I wrote about my dad and our boating incident - as well as my brother and the only person I've met/made friends with since I moved to St. Michaels this past July (he's a pet-sitter/house-sitter in the area and spends time with my brother and parents, house-sitting for them). We all live in the same neighborhood down here half the year (I live here year-round; my brother is down because he's a teacher who works online during COVID; my parents, who are retired, live down here mostly from October-April, and then visit in the summer; my friend J, who is a house-sitter, is staying with them during COVID). So that's four people who vote for me (and, again, read and vote for others - but I do not ask who). Toby, my husband, also has an account here, and he votes for me. That's five votes. I vote for myself - that's six votes.

And from there? I don't know. I honestly do not know.

I'm quite sure that 3-4 people in the game vote for me weekly, based on comments I've received. So that would take my total number of votes from 6 to 9-10. I have a few friends on DW who don't play Idol/Survivor, so they may vote for me when I post a voting link. I didn't do that this week, so I'm not certain they voted this week. I don't email or DM those people to ask for votes, because if they aren't seeing my post, then it seems unfair to ask them to vote blindly. So I can't rely on that. And since I don't ask for votes/even talk about Survivor on Twitter or Instagram, no one knows to come vote here.

So I know where I'm getting 9-10 votes - from verified DW accounts that actually read my work and have also voted for other players here. That's not enough for me to win immunity every week. Where do the other votes come from? If I know about 9-10, where did the other 17 votes come from this week? Am I being set up to look like a "threat" so that the Jury decides I shouldn't win at the end? Maybe - that suggestion was brought up to me several weeks ago. But I don't want to be paranoid, either. Am I receiving votes from EVERY single person who knows I have a DW account? No, because I have 48 mutual friends here, and I received 27 votes this week, so that doesn't add up. Are people finding my account based on mutual interests and then, they're voting? Maybe, but I didn't provide a link to vote this week, unless those random people scrolled through my entire journal, saw the Survivor link in a previous entry, and figured out how to vote for me. So possible, but it seems - unlikely?

So that's the answer. I know of 9-10 (and some weeks, like last week, I didn't ask my family to read. I brought up my mother being a terrible person for allowing my rapist to my grandfather's funeral, and then into my house. I didn't want them reading that, so, I never once brought up Survivor that week). Will that help me in the end? Not if we have 40-50 votes per round. Will that help me with the Jury? I hope my honesty does, but I truly hope it comes down to the fact that people think I'm a good writer, not just good at somehow procuring votes. I want my *writing* to speak for me. That's why I'm here.

Gary, if something is amiss, I know you'd call me out. If something IS amiss, please do. I'm as confused as everyone else about the vote spread. If most people have between 9-16, and I have 27, what's going on with that?

Anyhow, I just wrote a full entry here, lol. But it answers the question.

tl;dr: Thank you for the congrats. And while winning immunity is nice, that doesn't mean I'll win the game. I work hard, I love to write, and I know I have SOME support, but I have no idea what's going to happen in the end. I don't think I'll win the game, but I've had to drop other seasons due to surgery, cancer, and illness. So I'd love to keep writing for as long as everyone - Jury included - will have me. <3

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gunwithoutmusic: (Default)

[personal profile] gunwithoutmusic 2021-01-09 08:56 pm (UTC)(link)
gunwithoutmusic - Back in Borneo, Dr Sean had his "alphabetic strategy" where he would vote for people in alphabetical order. Part of that is that he wanted to be seen as "a good guy" and it kept him from alienating anyone. But "coincidentally" everyone from the original Pagong tribe had names in at the front of the alphabet. Do you think the "vote for the lowest" might change once the person with the lowest number of votes is a member of the original Luzon tribe?

To answer this question accurately, you have to really know the answer to whether or not tribal lines are holding steady. From an outside standpoint, it certainly looks like the Pagonging that I was afraid of happening at the very beginning of the game is indeed happening. We lost an original Asaga member last round, putting us down one and giving the original Luzon the majority. With bsgsix having the immunity necklace, that leaves only a few Asaga members to choose from if Luzon is indeed still working together, and me being one of them, well, it makes me nervous this time around.

But I think that the last Tribal Council gave me a good idea of how people are voting. It seems like most people are actually trying to vote "fairly," but everyone's criteria of "fair" may not actually be the same. This format affords all of us as contestants a luxury that a standard round of Idol doesn't: the ability to decide if someone is worth saving. In standard Idol, the person with the lowest votes goes home, period. And I think that's what the people that voted for wolfden were thinking was the fairest way to decide the vote. But here, we all have the ability to say, "Maybe this person was the lowest in the polls, but they just had a bad week, and in taking overall performance into the equation, it's more fair to eliminate this other person that has been consistently on the low end of the polls."

So to answer your direct question: is there a chance that, as soon as we see a Luzon member on the bottom of the polls, people will change their criteria for what is fair? Of course, and it's something that I have to keep in mind when casting my own votes at Tribal Council. I'd love to avoid a Pagonging if I possibly could, but at this point, it's also important to read the room as it were and just hope that people aren't really playing along tribal lines anymore.
bsgsix: (Default)

[personal profile] bsgsix 2021-01-09 09:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so glad I figured out what "Pagonging" is, because I was SO confused, lol.

I can honestly say that I've voted for Asaga and Luzon members, and I'm the only one who was on both tribes (oops, one exception - Adoptedwriter came to Asaga, I went to Luzon, and then, there was La Mina for those 1-2 weeks, too!). So I don't know if people are conspiring along party lines, but I know I'm not because, well, I don't think it matters. I'm aiming for "fair." Some weeks, "fair" may be the lowest number of votes, or someone who doesn't reply to things, or someone who is being antagonistic, but some weeks, "fair" may be "let's not eliminate someone with the lowest number of votes, but the lowest consistent average" or "let's not eliminate someone with the lowest number of votes, but someone who just outwardly was rude to someone else, and who may not take all players into consideration at the Jury." "Fair" is SO difficult, but I think the end point of what you said is spot-on: it's important to read the room, and hope people don't have a need to play along tribal lines (especially since some of us have been on myriad tribes)! <3
adoptedwriter: (Default)

[personal profile] adoptedwriter 2021-01-09 09:02 pm (UTC)(link)

“adoptedwriter - There was talk last week about "wanting to keep the entertaining people around" to keep things interesting as the game progresses. Is that something you think about when you are responding to these questions?”

As we all know ‘entertaining’ is in the eye of the beholder. What do you find entertaining? Comedy? Fantasy? Personal essays? Poetry? Videos or voice presentations? Drama? Drama outside of the game here? The actual writing entries themselves?

All I can do is the best I can do each week with an entry and each time I respond to Tribal Council questions. Oh, if cookies are entertaining I have some to share. They are ‘virtual’ which means they comply with any dietary need or restriction out there. They come in all flavors, iced or non- iced, large, medium or small, cream-filled or not, sweet, sour, nutty or what have you.
Enjoy! (Hopes this image will post properly)
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.floristseabrooknh.com%2Fproduct%2F4f26bc2fa8b1c%2Fassorted-cookie-basket&psig=AOvVaw1cQQQCm8WSwd3jv1DM9jbC&ust=1610312481057000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCIiBzs_fj-4CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD
gunwithoutmusic: (Default)

[personal profile] gunwithoutmusic 2021-01-09 09:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel like bribery is against the rules, but I'll keep quiet for cookies!

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[personal profile] lawchicky819 2021-01-09 10:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, if the trend stands, I will go home. The last time I looked at the votes I was middle of the pack and at the end of the day I was far behind. So I know people are playing with their votes adding and subtracting as they see fit. I have no issue with the vote adding but subtracting is a bit crummy as far as I am concerned.

There are several people who really will not benefit by my going home. They SHOULD know who they are. To them I say- do you want to be next or is there room for some strategy here?

Brutal honesty- I haven’t voted for Six since the merge. She doesn’t need my vote even if I liked her piece. And regardless of her entries, I will say. If she wins immunity every week and this group just continues to vote out the lowest vote getters— Six will get my jury vote. Because some of you are bungling the game.

If anyone wants to talk strategy, DM me. My box is open. If you want to vote me out because I have the fewest votes (downright foolish strategy for anyone who wants to win this thing), then let me circle the drain until the end.
bsgsix: (Default)

[personal profile] bsgsix 2021-01-09 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for this honesty. I'd rather see honesty and decisiveness than people pretending to be nice, only to stab me (or anyone else, including you) in the back later.

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murielle: Me (Default)

[personal profile] murielle 2021-01-09 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
"You've said several times that you don't want to "pick off the weak". The original Asaga tribe has gone from being dominant to now being down in numbers. Does that mean you aren't going to be sending one of them home this week? Can an original Luzon be expecting to see their name on your parchment? Or is that decision going to be based on week to week, regardless of other bonds in the game?"

I don't believe in picking off the weak. But I am finding this part of the game very difficult. This morning I thought I knew what I was going to do, this afternoon/evening, I'm not sure. I'm very confused. I can tell you one thing, it's not about picking off the "other team" for me either.

This week is particularly difficult because I thought all of the entries were strong. So, I need to think, because if my vote isn't based on the writing, then it has to be based on something else. What else? What?

Maybe I need to get all vindictive and start voting off people who never bother to comment on my work...Nah. Not me either.

Sorry, Gary. Probably not the answer you were looking for, but it is an honest answer.
bleodswean: (Default)

[personal profile] bleodswean 2021-01-10 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
What a thoughtful response, M! And I feel so similar! And yes, I thought the outings this week were STELLAR!

I don't know how those who are feeling strong about their potential "name" are getting to that place of assurance!

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Hope and Rainbows

[personal profile] eeyore_grrl 2021-01-10 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
"Last week the vote ended up being split between the two people with the fewest number of votes, with some scattered among random members of the tribe. If that ends up happening again - that means you are a target. How do you shift the target off yourself, knowing that you are also in their sights?"

Hope and rainbows... Seriously though, I hope that people either don't think I am a threat and leave me in... or like my writing enough they want to keep reading it. I mean I only write poetry... At the same time, I tend to ride the middle of the pack and, well, I guess we shall see if I do have a giant target on my back right now.

I don't feel my writing poetry is the "Kiss of Death" it was before my time that I heard so much about when I arrived in the games. However, it can be really difficult to read a crowd via a contest like this.

Yes, I am worried, but I have hope and rainbows.
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Re: Hope and Rainbows

[personal profile] gunwithoutmusic 2021-01-10 01:32 am (UTC)(link)
For what it's worth, I don't think that poetry is as much of a "kiss of death" as it used to be. It's that writing good poetry isn't always easy. I generally find your work to be relatable and easy to digest while still having something deeper underneath the surface.

I'm not sure that the challenge results really reflect the quality of writing in every case, which makes it a lot more difficult to say, "Well, Idol rules, the person with the lowest votes goes." And since, if you think about it, the challenge results mean nothing - you're either the winner or you're not; every one of us that didn't win immunity are on even ground right now - maybe it is time to start looking at other things when casting our Tribal Council votes.

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[personal profile] flipflop_diva 2021-01-10 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
What were your biggest takeaways from the last tribal council?

Wow, what a short and open-ended question lol. *looks at everyone else's questions in comparison*

Well, I will say, that for as much information as people gave out in Tribal Council, I was still surprised by the votes. Not as much for the wolfden and lawchicky ones (mainly because there was a lot of talk about fairness and the challenge polls and how to determine that), though I was surprised by how close it was. But I was surprised by the three other votes. Not that I think voting for who you want to vote for isn't fair — it's a game and people need to vote by whatever reasons they want to vote by — but except for lawchicky last week, no one really fessed up to wanting to "play the game" so to speak, but there are definitely people playing the game. Which is to be expected, of course, but it was surprising but also nice to have it confirmed.

Of course, I have no idea who those people were who voted that way so that part doesn't really help me :)

Going along with that, it also just confirmed how hard this game is. Regular Idol you just write your entry and then hope you wrote well enough that people will vote for you to make it to the next round. It's scary as heck, but you have one main job! This is a whoooooole other thing. Tribal and voting is (for me at least!) way harder than writing an entry every week. First, it's figuring out your own personal strategy and what feels right to you. But then it's also trying to figure out everyone else and how much of the truth they're telling all while hoping everyone else isn't voting for you.

It's hard. I love it. But it is hard.
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[personal profile] swirlsofpurple 2021-01-10 09:02 am (UTC)(link)
To be honest I mainly just consider people's entries. And I suppose I'm not really 'playing the game' in that respect, I'm just trying to put out the best entry I can.
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[personal profile] halfshellvenus 2021-01-10 09:14 am (UTC)(link)
Question #1: It was a surprise to see my name last week, but I guess it shouldn't have been?

I think you chose it as the first vote just to be evil. ;)

But I don't even know what the first vote means in this context. First received via email? For the TV show, it's probably the first one pulled out, so possibly more random. \o?
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[personal profile] flipflop_diva 2021-01-10 02:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, the tv show isn’t random so much as set up for maximum suspense. So I’d say Gary is doing the same since the three rogue votes were first.

But he probably did put you first cuz you voted last! The first Tribal we went to for Luzon, I voted last and my name came up first :) (And Tribal started so soon after I voted that I figure he was waiting for me!!)

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[personal profile] alycewilson 2021-01-10 07:22 pm (UTC)(link)
In the conversation of "fairness" vs "threat" - if you end up going home would you rather it be because people thought it was "fair" to vote you out, or would you rather them get rid of you because they saw you as a threat to their plans to win to the game?

That's a difficult question, because ultimately, I don't want to be gotten rid of at all! Each way has pluses and negatives, as far as what you tell yourself. If I felt that it was fair, that I had underperformed that week, it would probably sit better with me, even though it's a backhanded compliment if they got rid of me as a threat.
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[personal profile] swirlsofpurple 2021-01-10 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
As soon as I saw the prompt I knew I wanted the 'dig' to refer to digging a grave. But that's a very me thing to write. I wanted the body being buried to be the centerpiece of the story but wanted it to be extraordinary in some way. So it needed to be set somewhere where burials would be considered odd. At first I thought of aliens. But as soon as I thought of setting it in the future everything clicked into place.
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[personal profile] alycewilson 2021-01-10 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
That was such a brilliant setting for this sort of story. The idea of burials being wasteful, which makes perfect sense. And yet, in our time, we value the idea of having a place to go to honor the dead. I'd imagine in their time, that's no longer a consideration.

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[personal profile] murielle 2021-01-10 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
"I started reading this and went "Wait.. it's going there????" before realizing that it was a nightmare. The heart of this seems to be the moments in between actually digging into what her Aunt Bev left behind, the every day human interactions as she prepares to dig into the past. They are framed between the fear of what can be and the promise of what it is come. What is it about those moments, those chatting with people, and taking the time out to eat McDonalds, that speak to you? Why are they important to include between the digging scenes?"

For me, they address her attempts to control the uncontrollable. Isn't that what life is about? Isn't that what you do, here, with a group of writerly-types who don't want to be wrangled? It's also about digging in and make a normal life in the midst of a very abnormal event in her life. Lining up services and collecting gear she will need to do the job ahead when she really has no idea what that job will entail.

How do we approach the unknown? By doing everything we think we know to prepare for it. Even spoiling ourselves with two big macs, fries and milkshakes. ;-)

I wonder...do I have time to call Skip-the-Dishes? ;-)
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[personal profile] alycewilson 2021-01-10 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
And I said this when I commented on your piece, your details are spot on. I don't know if this is something you have experienced first hand, or if it comes from research, but I was impressed with how accurate the specifics were for what someone in that situation faces.

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[personal profile] alycewilson 2021-01-10 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
alycewilson - I'm so glad to see you writing poetry again. It feels like there is an entire "class" of Idol participants who don't know this side of you. I was wondering who would go with this take for the prompt, and in retrospect, I probably should have put money on it being you.

Thank you, Gary! "Can you dig it?" was the first thought in my head, probably because I'm a child of the '70s. Of course, in my mind, it would also be in a funky font, surrounded by a couple psychedelic flowers.

Other people have mentioned other lines, so I'll skip those and go right for " as steadfast as her love for us, born in that splashy decade", there's so much captured here of a time remembered, and lost. A memory you can enter whenever you want, but where your current self does not belong. The connections are obvious, as is why you went with this particular image. So instead I'll ask you why you decided to go with poetry? What was it to said this should be told in that format, rather than prose?

I went with poetry because when I thought about the topic, it was more of a mood or a picture that I wanted to convey and less of a story. The most '70s image that popped into my head was my mother's kitchen, which she had designed when we moved into the house in 1975, and which she later revised and updated over later decades. But never that immovable yellow counter! It was designed especially for her and was perfect for food prep, family meals, etc. Still, the color did not age as well as she would have wanted.

Poetry allows you to take the smallest moment and, by concentrating on it in detail, expand out the meaning into a much broader universe. In addition, poetry is really my wheelhouse, and as bad as I was feeling that day, I needed to go with something I could write with confidence while my stomach was still doing flip-flops.
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[personal profile] murielle 2021-01-10 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
It was such a wonderful poem and reminded me of all the "homes" I would love to wander through again, enjoying the memories. I love that you talked about wanting to go, be there, but knowing you don't belong there anymore. The past, is just not ours anymore.

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[personal profile] adoptedwriter 2021-01-11 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
adoptedwriter - I loved the rhythm of this, how the structure was broken up into different repeating beats. Just glancing at it before the first read I thought it was going to be poetry, but quickly realized my mistake. I like how you played with it. There's some really good moments in this. I liked that the main "dig" (her digging in) was something that I missed the first read through. Which sounds like a weird compliment, but I like that I missed that you had used the word, but knew that was where the prompt had come in. It was only when I reread that I noticed you had put the word in there... the last sentence's use on the other hand was a little too "on the nose" for me with the usage. The first two lines though really nail where you are going with this though and it carries through the piece really well. I'm curious, did you think of the incident first as "digging in" or were you thinking of the "groovy buttons" book and worked your way back from there?

Definitely digging in 1st.
Thanks for the “Weird complements”. Lol.
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[personal profile] murielle 2021-01-11 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
<3

Weird is gooooood! :-)

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[personal profile] bleodswean 2021-01-11 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
Sometimes I worry about you. ;) Your dark imagery continues to delight: "Those you buried beneath the rotting oak leaves... wrap yourself around their empty bones", but maybe that says more about your readers than it does you. ;) The scream of an old life ending, to wrapping yourself around death, it's quite the cycle. You stated the this started as something else, but morphed into something else, like someone transforming into a dark creature. I'm curious where that starting point was and when you started to realize that the idea was changing shape.

I loved this prompt! It's utterly archetypal once I wrestled it away from the earwormy "Can you dig it? Yes, I can!"

I did start out more as keyboard-musing about family, tribe, where you belong, how you realize who your family really is and how you fit in with those you identify as holding your heart. I've got a big wolfdog here and he's so packed up with us, that the analogy/metaphor flowed out of the idea of den, pack, tribe, family, skin pretty quickly. Trying to imagine becoming more canine than human and thinking of a more primitive way of burying and mourning and remembering our loved ones.

I like your take on it and I've enjoyed reading how others interpret it. It seems to me that it's really a ponderation on transition, shedding a false skin and donning a real pelt.
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[personal profile] murielle 2021-01-11 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
Zoltan! (Sorry, weird woof moment.)

Over and over your work blows me away. This piece struck me as so primal it touched the wild in me. That part of me that rises to the scent of wet earth and soaked leaves. Yeah.

Okay back to boring me.

*Hugs*

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[personal profile] gunwithoutmusic 2021-01-11 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
I'm really glad to have seen the update in the comments. I hope that things continue to head in a good direction. It was a gut punch to read, and I'm sure even more of one to actually live. The emotional strain on mental states, and relationships, during the pandemic is something I'm sure is going to be studied for years to come. Which doesn't make it any better to know that other people are also going through it, but I hope it makes you feel a *little* less alone. Last week you said you were taking a break from your "walk in the woods" stories, but even though you never left your house, this was very much in the same spirit of introspection. What was it like to find the narrative beats - not in an old memory, which a lot of people do - but in something you are experiencing in real time?

I do tend to get out a lot of my inner thoughts on myself and my situation through my writing. I'm often "writing" in my head as I experience things, to try and put another spin on my thoughts or to just appreciate what I have in the moment. While I wouldn't have submitted the piece I did if I could have come up with something different and I'm not 100% happy with it from a "writing contest" perspective, I'm glad I did.

That said, my situation with my husband has taken a bit of a downturn again and I'm not really sure when it's going to get better or if it is, so while this game is a good distraction for me, I'm probably going to be mostly quiet for the time being and just focus on listening.
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[personal profile] murielle 2021-01-11 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry that on top of everything else that's going "off" in the world right now, you're going through this too. I hope for better times for both of you--very, very soon.

*Hugs*

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Re: MORE QUESTIONS

[personal profile] halfshellvenus 2021-01-11 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
:D Patches was a real kitty, not a dream, though that IS a good question. She was Willard's most recent cat, and while possibly a little more fun than most, definitely a regular cat. I like to think of the horse as being Willard's only true manifested dream, his wish for someone strong to take up the responsibility of his farm. It just happened along at a very lucky time for him, regarding the deadly nightmare.

His mother's dream, and perhaps her father's as well, was for a child--with all the special qualities any parent wants for a child, and some that might have been particular to the wishers.

I'm sorry that probably seems a disappointing answer, and the next one will be too. NOT a "Once and Future King" reference, simply an example of the extent and complexity of what a dream could be.

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[personal profile] bsgsix 2021-01-11 09:14 am (UTC)(link)
Answering my second question that Gary posted in this thread (since DW is acting up):

bsgsix - I'll admit it, when I started reading your entry and saw the word "portals" there was a brief moment when I thought "Oh, she's doing fiction!" and then I saw familiar names and went, "real life mixed with fiction?" before realizing what was actually going on. I wish, for your sake, that it HAD been fiction where you just used your own name!

I think that, for people who don't know me, it probably did read a LOT like fiction until the first section break. After all, how many people claw at the floor, looking to find dead relatives? But that was the reason I had to write what I did (well, one reason; the other was that I was scared I wouldn't make it through that coma state this time and I wanted to leave something written for the game) - that truth is stranger than fiction, and while I wish it HAD been fictional, no part of it was.

I was recently reminded of an old Idol conversation, way back in Season 2. Most people know the old "fiction vs non-fiction" debate, but unless you were one of the people who was around back then, you don't know this part of the history. Bear with me, I'm getting to a question. :)

Nah, you're stringing me along, but it's cool, because I like you, G. ;)

(Haha, I'm kidding. But no, I wasn't around until Season 6, in 2009. That was a VERY popular season - 250+ writers, some drama, but best of all, when I met most of these amazing people I'm currently writing with! I think I made it to the top 20 when I had to drop due to a major surgery.)

Back then it was almost ALL non-fiction, people talking about their lives. But, because of that, there were a lot of people talking about really bad things that had happened/were happening to them. The backlash to that (and the reason you started seeing fiction start to appear) was that there were people who didn't understand why someone would put something *that* personal out there, in public. (Even as "public" as LJ was back in the day.)

I think that this is going to sound harsh, but I don't really care if people wonder why I talk about the things I do talk about. Yes, I know there was backlash back in the day - I've heard about it - regarding writers telling "life stories" or "personal stories." More fiction cropped up as the result. And I love fiction. I love poetry. I love creative non-fiction. But for myself? I tell my best stories and write my best work in a non-fiction format. I'm not going to change that even if people think it feels too "personal" - I've had a weird life, and documenting it helps not only me, but also others who have potentially been through similar things/faced similar demons. So I'm speaking out. I have literally nothing to hide at this point, and the court of public opinion can judge me how they'd like.

It occurred to me that I have you here - writing what you write, sharing what you share. What is it about sharing your story, and your struggle, that is so important to you?

Again, it's important to me because someone has to tell my story. This is my legacy, and who is going to tell it more accurately than I can? I may die tomorrow - sure, that sounds dramatic as hell, but it's been true since August 2014. I have incurable cancer. I am going to die. And so, I'm going to share everything - from the deep and dramatic (which the prompts have worked for these past weeks) to the fun and lighthearted (if a prompt lends itself to something that can veer in that direction). It's all personal, based on the very definition of the word. But my goal is to be honest; part of that is sharing myself here. And overall? I KNOW people can relate. I've received DMs from people who have mentioned being in similar situations (different circumstances, but things I've said have really hit home). Knowing that other people are reaching out and coming to terms with their own pasts? That's awesome. I LIKE knowing that my darkness can bring about light. It not only shows the survivor in ME, but the survivor in others. How awesome is that - and where else can I do that, and do that so openly, than here?

So I'm going to stick to what works best: honest, hard-hitting nonfic pieces that get to the heart of who we are, who we become, and where we are going in this one, short life. I'm the one who gets to tell my story; I'm the one who writes the narrative. My life may be a twisted, dramatic, stranger-than-fiction opera sometimes, but I'll be here to sing every last note of it until I gasp for breath and can no longer sing again.
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[personal profile] alycewilson 2021-01-11 10:35 am (UTC)(link)
Do you actually sleep or do you keep hours like mine? (I go to bed between 9 and 10 p.m. when KFP does, and I wake up about 2 or 3 a.m. to do my transcription work. And yes, I do try to schedule an afternoon nap, too.)

Also, it's hard to remember to call you Lex, but I'll try. :)

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[personal profile] bleodswean 2021-01-11 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Does anyone else want to make a pitch about why THEY should stay?

In spite of or despite what players are or are not saying, I think everyone here wants to stay to fight/write another day!

If anyone really feels done, it seems the TC is the place to let us know so we can help you into the jury.
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[personal profile] flipflop_diva 2021-01-11 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
This. Obviously some people are enjoying the 'game' portion more than other people, but I don't think there is anyone who doesn't want to keep playing or who wants to just go to jury now.

That would sure make this easier if there was, but I feel like everyone left are fighters who are still ready to do this thing.

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My second question :)

[personal profile] flipflop_diva 2021-01-11 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
So you're saying that I've wasted the last couple of decades? What are I am supposed to do now with this giant hole in my backyard? The mole men I've befriended are going to be very disappointed to learn that we can't get to China... This was a charming look into that moment in time when everything was possible. Unless adults distracted you with candy to sabotage your dreams! I've noticed that when people post non-fiction, they always include pictures. What do you think works better - including them at the end or interspersed throughout the story?

Well, Gary, my mom was a nurse and she was very smart, and she said it was possible, so I don't think you should give up on your dream so easily :) It just might take a little longer than I was thinking when I was 7.

As for your question, I actually write a lot of non-fiction (this season especially so far!) and I think the only times I've included photos were when I wrote about my dogs (for the last regular Idol season, I think). But this time, as I was writing it, I suddenly remembered this photo I had of all of us kids on the beach with our buckets and shovels. I couldn't find that particular photo some photo albums may or may not still be in boxes in the garage that have yet to be unpacked from when we moved more than a year ago, but I did find the ones I posted that I thought would at least help show who these kids were who were digging to China.

As for where to post them, I think that's a personal preference. I personally like them at the end of stories. I like to read the entries and get absorbed in them and "see" them in my head, and so it's fun for me to see them at the end and see how different they (usually) are from my imagination. But again, that's just a personal preference and I'm sure some people like them better in the middle. Or not at all. Hopefully no one is basing their votes on where someone puts the photos that go with their entries!

[personal profile] eeyore_grrl 2021-01-11 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
"Other people have already mentioned both of the lines that I was originally going to mention. So I'll go with something different and mention the impact of "and gifted it to me with her own self." It was found, worked, loved and made into something much greater than just glass. It became part of the protections from her, keeping those spirits at bay. Your work is always great, and listening to it just makes it better. Your Mother liked it - which, of course she did, it was great. But since this is question time - what would you have done if she hadn't? Or, if her reaction had been more "It's OK" "

I've written... less kinds poetry about her in the past. I wouldn't have posted that in such a public forum. The fact that she liked it helps; But I was pretty sure that she would like it; She is one of my biggest fans. :-). And, to be honest, if I was somehow wrong in my assumption that she would like it, I would address it in therapy.
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[personal profile] flipflop_diva 2021-01-11 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
You've seen lawchicky's pitch for why she should stay. Does seeing someone clearly want to stay in the game have any impact on you at all? As opposed to seeing people say "I'm over this format" or "this is a strain on me"... this is someone who wants to keep going. Does that make you go "We need to keep her?" OR "Anyone who wants to play this game needs to go?"

Does anyone else want to make a pitch about why THEY should stay?


The hardest part of this game is casting a vote for someone that you like (and are quite possibly friends with) to take them out of the game. In regular Idol, we vote for who we want to stay, and even if there's someone you don't vote for, you're not actively voting them out. This is so different than that. And of course, seeing people fighting to stay and wanting to stay makes it even harder, because you're taking away something from someone that they really want to do.

I do personally want people here who want to be here and want to give it their all in all aspects. But I don't know that there is anyone who doesn't? Not liking doing it is different than not wanting to do it (people on real Survivor don't always like it either, but they do it because they want to win. I'm not sure this is that much different in that respect).

As for me, in case anyone was wondering, I do really want to be here, and I'm trying my best in all aspects. I work hard on my entries and I try to always read and comment to others, and I try to contribute as much as I can to Tribal. I hope that's enough for people to want to keep me, but I don't know. But all I can do is try my best and hope it's enough!
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Hypothetical Question for Survivor

[personal profile] murielle 2021-01-11 07:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Gary? You there? Come in, Gary.

If someone on the jury wanted to "homegame" could they?

(Just a question, don't go reading anything into it voters. I'm doin' just fine. ;-))
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[personal profile] adoptedwriter 2021-01-11 08:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Has Gary put up all of the round 3 Qs and I missed something or has he not? Just checking. Big work week with the end of the semester here. I’m trying to keep up. Thanks!
murielle: Me (Default)

[personal profile] murielle 2021-01-11 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I think he just finished off the second round.

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