Tribal Council - Merge Tribe 3

[clauderainsrm]

Have a seat. 


Let's bring in the Jury... jenwithapen, bittyjane, megatronix, impoetry, n3m3sis43, Minikin25, wolfden, and lawchicky819, voted out last week. bsgsix will be on the Jury once she is cleared from the hospital, but can't be with us today.


 What a difference a week makes. 

The last couple times we were here, the question was "How do we beat bsgsix?"  

Of course, we all wish her well and hope for a continued a speedy recovery, but there is also a game happening and these things have consequences. 

One of those consequences - 

halfshellvenus - You are sitting here with that immunity necklace around your neck for the first time.  What does it feel like knowing, for the first time, that you won't be going home this week? 

alycewilson - You too have immunity.   Is there a distinction in your mind between winning it at a poll challenge or winning it via the Chop challenge?  Or, is it "a challenge is a challenge"?   You expressed that it might be a mixed message, that you received it because you "weren't a threat", but knowing that no one was gunning to take you out, does that just mean that now you are on everyone's radar as being someone everyone wants to keep around? 

eeyore_grrl - You were surprised to be one of the first people of the Chop challenge, but then you come back and put in another strong performance in the immunity challenge.  As one of the dying breed of original Asaga's, are you expecting to see your name written down this week - and if so, what can you say to change people's minds?  Why should they keep you around? 

gunwithoutmusic - You're the other original Asaga member sitting up here without immunity around their neck - and you came really close to winning the poll challenge. Do you think that bsgsix's vocalized strategy of "vote out the lowest" is out the window now that she is gone - and people are going to start looking at taking out threats? How do you keep that target off yourself? 

bleodswean - Your name was the correct answer on "Who is the best writer", "who is playing this the most like LJ Idol",  "Who would you trust with your life" AND "who you most want to hang out with..."  - feeling pretty good about those answers or is it worrisome that you are such a big presence?  You also ended up making it to the end of the Chop challenge, meaning that no one wanted to chop your rope until they had no choice.  Those are all wonderful superlatives, but they are also things you can point to at the end of the game as reasons why you should win.  Is there any part of you that wishes that people didn't think quite some highly of you right now?  ;) 

flipflop_diva - You are in the opposite position.  You won the "most likely to stab you in the back" and "who is playing the most like Survivor" - do you think that your choice of name may have influenced that decision?  ;)   Or is it how you are being perceived in this game?  Is there anything you can do to make people confident that they can trust you and want to keep you around? 

adoptedwriter -  You were one of the correct answers for "who would I trust with my life" - how does that make you feel?  In a game that is about knowing who to trust, did that increase your confidence in "Hey, I might just be able to get to the end and win this thing!"   You switched from Luzon to Asaga for a brief period during the swap, for all of the talk of how it's NOT about the old tribes anymore, coincidentally, since the merge, it's been old Asaga members going home.  You were on a tribe with some of these people - does your heart go out to them? Or is it "it's just a game?" 

swirlofpurple -  How does bsgsix's departure change your approach to this game?   Given her stance on "vote the lowest out", and who has immunity, it would be between you, murielle and adoptedwriter to go home this week.  Which, for someone who was constantly winning immunity, was easy to say "keep voting for whoever is lowest, that way if I DO lose a week - no one will target me because I'm usually doing well"...  it's less sure of how great of a game plan that was for everyone else. Do you think people are going to stick with her game plan, or is this the time when someone is going to come up with their own? 

murielle -  You were selected as the member who does the most for the tribe *and* the Most Honest - so, going with that honesty, who do you think has benefitted the most from bsgsix's sudden departure?  Who do you think has had their game plan shaken up by it? 




swirlsofpurple -  Another world-building piece.  You definitely have the knack for creating these images of not-so distant realities.  The type of experimentation being done, on both of the women, echoes historical real life examples.  I like how you are able to ground your ideas, and relationships, while still exploring.  I like exploring the choices people make - did you come in knowing about the twist and build the situation around it, or was it something you discovered along the way? 


eeyore_grrl -   Going to the heart of the issue might break social protocol, but certainly makes a powerful statement.  It's upsetting to see how many people went almost immediately into spin mode for what happened at the Capitol instead of addressing it as a wake up call.   I like how you called out exactly what would have happened, if not a quick thinking Capitol cop who distracted he terrorists away long enough for the members of the Congress to get to safety.  "i know this because i’ve heard the threats against strong women/against women in power"  - that hit me in the way "your politics are my life" hit other people.    What was it about this particular prompt, and moment to compelled you to speak, and how did you go about crafting the entry itself from a structural standpoint? 


adoptedwriter -  There were definitely points in reading this that I was "Oh no, where is she going?"  But turning it into a discussion of the triggering phrases involved with child who have been adopted was an interesting take on it.  Obviously, I know why you chose the subject matter, what I'm interested in why you decided on the structure for the piece.  Coming at the idea of "triggering" as framework for the specific conversation.  Was the use of "G-d" intentional when discussing words that, if used, might upset someone? (I know why that is used, but it struck me when you used it alongside what you referred to as "the T-word" 


flipflop_diva  -   You focused on how people notice your "lazy eye" in pictures - was this to distract people from the picture that clearly shows your baby has been hit with Avada Kedavra (the killing curse) and survived?  Did you think no one would notice that there are dark wizards after her???  Oh... right, sorry... your actual entry itself.  Writing is personal, and this clearly is something that you live with every day.  I thought the opening sequence worked well to bring people in, as well as set up talking about your eye.  I've seen far too many people over the years bungle their openings, but you really did it well here. What was it about the prompt that made you immediately say "I want to reveal this part of myself?" 


bleodswean - As always, it's beautifully written. Your use of language is always quite a treat, as is your take on the retelling. I'm familiar with the myth, although it didn't come straight to mind until the end and had to go back and reread. It makes me wonder what you cut out. This needed more room to breathe, to keep it from being too dense. Which makes me curious if it had that before you cut half of it. How does your self-editing process work?

murielle - Your food obsession continues! :) I agree with your self-assessment that it was too short.  Deadlines get the better of us all sometimes and we make due with what we can get out there.  But it makes me wonder - what do you think this particular entry could have been with a day or two more?  You managed to get to another cliffhanger - would the story have stopped at the same place with just more details? Would the arc have progressed further?  You've had a few extra days to think of the "might have been"s - in an ideal scenario, how would this be different?


gunwithoutmusic -  Stop thinking that.  No, I'm not talking about what you wrote this week. I'm referring to that thought you just had 5 minutes ago. I'm in your head. I know.  And you really need to stop thinking that.   Seriously though, another week of emotional scab picking poetry where you rend pieces of your being until they become words. Being able to work real pain into something so raw and present it for public consumption is a true gift.  I've been excited to see you delve more into the intimacy of poetry to express what you are going through right now.  How do you think you would approach this if you had gone with non-fiction instead?  How would the narrative expand, from snapshots to atmosphere? 

halfshellvenus  - I saved you and alycewilson for last, since both of you are currently sitting comfortably with those necklaces around your neck.  Given your entry I thought you might appreciate that I separated the two of you from all the "non immunity winners."  :)   John Hodgman often says "specificity is the soul of narrative" and I think that important here in understanding why there was such a great response to this piece.  What was it about the prompt that made you start thinking about your sensitivities?  Why did you decide to break back into non-fiction for this particular piece? 

alycewilson - I'm going to speak my own honesty here for a moment - this may be my favorite piece from you in a long time.  (I always enjoy them, but this one was special) I think that if you hadn't already won immunity, there would be a good chance that you would have it now anyway.  I hope that anyone who missed it - because they "didn't need to read it" goes back and checks it out.  It's very timely, and important.  What was it about this particular prompt that made you want to tell this particular story? 

General question for everyone - Someone is about to go home.  If this is your last entry, how do you feel about that?  Are you satisfied with what you were able to come up with? 

There's been a lot of talk about personal relationships and their impact on the game  - Who is the one person left in the game that you, personally, would never vote against? 

alycewilson , halfshellvenus  - you both have immunity.  You can, if you wish, give it to someone else.  Or, do you want to keep it? 

(Voting information coming tomorrow) 

Comments

[alycewilson]

You too have immunity. Is there a distinction in your mind between winning it at a poll challenge or winning it via the Chop challenge? Or, is it "a challenge is a challenge"? You expressed that it might be a mixed message, that you received it because you "weren't a threat", but knowing that no one was gunning to take you out, does that just mean that now you are on everyone's radar as being someone everyone wants to keep around?

I'm actually really proud of winning immunity the way that I did, because I hope that it means that I've made a positive impression upon people. Of course, as you said, it could also simply mean that I'm not seen as a threat. Does that mean I'm not viewed as someone who can win? That's certainly possible.

This week's entry was a personal triumph for me, even if it wouldn't have won me immunity in the poll (though it's possible I would have achieved more votes if people didn't already know I was safe). I shared it with my friends on Facebook and got a lot of positive responses from my high school classmates, as well as my high school journalism teacher. I guess the lesson is much of the same: I may view myself as an outsider, someone who doesn't necessarily belong, but both with the chop challenge and with my classmates' response, I'm hearing affirmation that whatever I may be, I'm worth knowing. And that, to me, is winning.

[bleodswean]

THAT is lovely, A.

[gunwithoutmusic]

That's awesome! And you are absolutely worth knowing :) I have really enjoyed getting to know you more through your work this season and in Season 11 of regular Idol.

[flipflop_diva]

Awww, you are definitely worth knowing <3 And all your entries are worth reading too!

[murielle]

Your entry was fantastic, but I think all of your entries are fantastic, you know that. I'm delighted you got immunity, and as you said, the way you got it means so much.

Are you a threat? Of course. You're a fantastic writer. You're a threat. <3

[adoptedwriter]

It was a great entry. Very relatable.

[gunwithoutmusic]

You're the other original Asaga member sitting up here without immunity around their neck - and you came really close to winning the poll challenge. Do you think that bsgsix's vocalized strategy of "vote out the lowest" is out the window now that she is gone - and people are going to start looking at taking out threats? How do you keep that target off yourself?

Well, I'm nothing if not honest, so I'll go ahead and lay my cards on the table here: I feel like I'm stuck in a self-fulfilling prophecy here. I was the one to first talk about the possibility of a Pagonging and wanting to avoid that, but here we are. Every loss we've had since the merge has been an original Asaga member. We started at 6-6 and now we're at 6-3.

I've also been pretty adamant in Tribal Councils that I don't think old Tribal lines are really holding because most people seem intent on voting "fairly" (using whatever criteria they decide to be the "most fair," whether that be immediate poll results, past performance, personal opinion on the entries, etc.). I'm not so sure about that now, but I will say that wolfden's elimination was fair based on some of the above criteria. lawchicky's elimination was not fair based on the above criteria, but it was close enough to fair (she didn't have the absolute lowest voting average, but she was close), and I understand the reasoning of those that voted her out enough, that I would consider it a fair elimination. bsgsix is a completely different story and I can't really speak to whether or not she would have been eliminated this week had she not been medevaced (and somehow lost the immunity challenge).

So here's where I stand: I keep an eye on the polls and I keep track of past performances (I have a spreadsheet calculating averages and such for me, and I sort of feel like at least some of the other players do as well; it helps with deciding who I think I should vote for at Tribal Councils). If we're talking "fair" voting, there's no two ways about it - swirlsofpurple is on the chopping block tonight. She has the lowest voting average in the game and received the least amount of votes in the most recent poll (alycewilson notwithstanding, but she has immunity so can't be factored in). I think that people were willing to cut her a break on having a low average because she did, after all, miss three challenges. But at a certain point, people are going to need to decide how much of a break to cut there.

Note that this has nothing to do with the quality of swirlsofpurple's writing; I personally love the universe she is creating and I love her storytelling ability. I do not think that she necessarily deserves to have the lowest voting average in the game. But the fact remains that she does. And the fact also remains that, if we're going to "play fair," the next four players in line for elimination are from the original Luzon tribe.

But there has been talk about criteria for "what's fair" changing as soon as the dominant tribe realizes that they have a member up for elimination. Will we suddenly start deciding that the "fairest" way to do things is to make sure that the people we originally started with stick around? I think this Tribal Council is going to be a big one and will let us know who is being honest with both themselves and with the other players, and who is going to do whatever it takes to win.

I honestly don't know what to expect from this Tribal Council, and I'm feeling a little scared and definitely envious of both alycewilson and halfshellvenus right now. From an outsider's perspective (and from mine), it looks like it will be eeyore_grrl or me going at this Tribal Council. I will say that if/when my time comes to depart the game, I've had a lot of fun and I know that it's a game we're all playing so there will definitely be no hard feelings. That said, every single person here needs to be looking at Jury management, and how the Jury will vote in the end.

Your actions in the game, how you play, what you say and what you do all affect the ultimate win in this game. I'd like to think that I've played an honest game, and I plan to continue to do so. Whether that will be my ultimate undoing or not is yet to be seen, but at least if I go out I'll be able to feel good about the actions I've taken and the words that I've said here in Tribal Council.

[bleodswean]

I find the strategizing so fascinating! I didn't realize that some are sticking to their original tribes. I wonder why they would be inclined to do that, other than just friendship allegiance? I also don't understand, at all, the strategy to vote out the lowest vote tally writer. Now.I did understand that strategy during tribes! But I don't at this point. Other than wanting to have a duke fest with the consistently highest vote tallyers ala regular Idol?

I think all of us still very much want to be here. So, there's that. I do get upset when I hear about backstabbing or pot-stirring going on behind the scenes, and I have heard about it. LOL.

[murielle]

"You were selected as the member who does the most for the tribe *and* the Most Honest - so, going with that honesty, who do you think has benefitted the most from bsgsix's sudden departure? Who do you think has had their game plan shaken up by it?"

Good morning, Gary.

I am deeply touched by these votes. They mean a great deal to me. Thank you so much, fellow survivors. <3 <3 <3

Bsgsix's sudden departure was a terrible shock, and we all miss her so much and wish her the very best possible, but it has allowed Halfshellvenus to win immunity and that is enormous in this game. In fact, it allowed immunity to be up for grabs for the first time since we started playing Survivor, so in the saddest way imaginable it benefitted us all. As for shaken up by it, that would be our poor girl bsgsix. Not only was immunity lost to her, but she's now on the jury instead of here writing with us.

We're a tight little group of friends here, Gary. There is a lot of love in this place. The chopping questions were the absolute hardest questions you've ever asked, and if you ever do that to us again (shakes fist at you) I'm going to roll dice, or draw cards, or pull names out of a hat. Just so you know. ;-)

(Wonders off to look for dice, or cards, or a hat.)

[gunwithoutmusic]

You know, I love the rope chop challenge when they do it on the Survivor TV show, so I was initially excited to do it, but once we were actually doing it, I was thinking, "Gosh, this is almost harder than Tribal Council!" This game can certainly be brutal sometimes.

[flipflop_diva]

You are in the opposite position. You won the "most likely to stab you in the back" and "who is playing the most like Survivor" - do you think that your choice of name may have influenced that decision? ;) Or is it how you are being perceived in this game? Is there anything you can do to make people confident that they can trust you and want to keep you around?

Hahahaha. I admit I did not even think about my username :) Probably because I've had it for so long now lol.

In all honesty, though, I will say that "winning" these two kind of hurt. Not so much the Survivor one, but the backstabber one hurts a lot. I know people had to name someone, but it still stings and makes me really sad that people think that.

The Survivor question, at first, I was like '???' but then I realized that when we were in tribes, I was definitely leading the 'This is how we should vote!' pack and I was always talking strategy to people, and since most of the people left in the game are my former Luzon tribemates, I'm thinking/hoping that was part of the reason. And I'm cool with that. I own that. We are playing Survivor, and it's honestly silly to think right now that anyone here is strictly playing Idol. We saw everyone's chop lists in that challenge!

The backstab one, though, just hurts. I know I've jokingly said I would backstab like crazy in real Survivor, but honestly, I probably wouldn't. One because that's not in my nature. For any Harry Potter fans, I am as Hufflepuff as they come. But also, I watch Survivor. And I know that backstabbing might get you to the end if you're lucky but it doesn't usually win you the game. It's certainly fun to watch, but it's always a risky strategy. And I think if I ever did play real Survivor, I'd actually be really careful of that.

And this game isn't real Survivor. This is a game with people who aren't strangers and we aren't trying to win money that would change our lives. I would love to win, don't get me wrong, but I'm not going to hurt people to do that. That's not who I am.

So all I can say is I've never lied in this game. I've definitely never backstabbed anyone. And I don't plan to start now.

[murielle]

I can't imagine how bad that made you feel, and I'm so sorry about that. But I think it was just down to the perception that you're playing Survivor over, Idol, and not a personal thing at all.

*Gentle hugs*

*Cookies, or wine and cheese, or everything?*

[adoptedwriter]

adoptedwriter -  You were one of the correct answers for "who would I trust with my life" - how does that make you feel?  In a game that is about knowing who to trust, did that increase your confidence in "Hey, I might just be able to get to the end and win this thing!"   You switched from Luzon to Asaga for a brief period during the swap, for all of the talk of how it's NOT about the old tribes anymore, coincidentally, since the merge, it's been old Asaga members going home.  You were on a tribe with some of these people - does your heart go out to them? Or is it "it's just a game?" 

Question #1: Wow! That’s kind of an honor. While it is no indicator of me winning the whole contest, it’s very nice to be thought of in this way.
Question #2: My heart does go out to the former Asaga mates as well as others who have left the game in one way or another. Being voted off, having to drop due to life getting in the way, getting super sick...It all sucks when you can’t be in the writing part anymore. I mean, it is just a game in that if your personal livelihood and you and your family’s safety & well-being is in tact, then you need to keep that perspective. Still, especially now, when so many people are craving connections virtually because in-person experiences are few to non-existent, the Idol community becomes more meaningful than ever, and this event becomes more than just a game in that way. For me, COVID-19 aside, it’s always more than just a game in that this has been one way to grow as a writer, be challenged and build connections with others.

[murielle]

A well-deserved honor! <3

[swirlsofpurple]

How does bsgsix's departure change your approach to this game? Given her stance on "vote the lowest out", and who has immunity, it would be between you, murielle and adoptedwriter to go home this week. Which, for someone who was constantly winning immunity, was easy to say "keep voting for whoever is lowest, that way if I DO lose a week - no one will target me because I'm usually doing well"... it's less sure of how great of a game plan that was for everyone else. Do you think people are going to stick with her game plan, or is this the time when someone is going to come up with their own?

It doesn't change my approach. I'm going to be honest here. Sitting at the bottom of the poll- I still think the fairest way to do this is to vote out the person with the lowest votes. And looking at the poll results, I was wondering if I should bow out gracefully. Because if this was a typical Idol season, I'd be out. And I suppose it's by virtue of the magic spark that is Survivor that there's a chance that I might stay in the game. And I do really, really, want to stay, so I'm here.

And as I do want to stay, I hope people do change their game plans. But I don't know if they will. If anything- this proves I'm not a threat. I don't have any illusions, I know I don't really stand a chance at winning this thing, but I'd like to keep writing a little longer.

If I get voted out, so be it. But I'll try to make it worth everyone's while if I'm allowed to stay.

[murielle]

I feel the same way.

And I too would love to stay and write another week for as long as possible. I have never subscribed to voting the lowest out, if I do, it's generally because of another reason.

The voting has always baffled me, here and in Idol, and I've said this a lot. But the game is what the game is and we're all here to play the game and write our hearts out. I think you're doing those things admirably.

<3

[bleodswean]

Your name was the correct answer on "Who is the best writer", "who is playing this the most like LJ Idol", "Who would you trust with your life" AND "who you most want to hang out with..." - feeling pretty good about those answers or is it worrisome that you are such a big presence? You also ended up making it to the end of the Chop challenge, meaning that no one wanted to chop your rope until they had no choice. Those are all wonderful superlatives, but they are also things you can point to at the end of the game as reasons why you should win. Is there any part of you that wishes that people didn't think quite some highly of you right now? ;)

It's taken me hours to respond to this, because....it's beyond humbling. It's the type of responsibility that does weigh heavily. I want to be able to BE this person that I'm perceived as. Even if it's just ONE person, there's a responsibility there.

Lol, I am playing this like Idol. However, that being said, I'm also beginning to enjoy what Survivor IS! And I think we have a brilliant collection of folx here and I would welcome being stranded on an island with them anytime. All are great people and really great writers! For me, it is about the writing and I've enjoyed reading all of these players every prompt.

I understand the nature of this beast is elimination/immunity. I know we all want to stay and I know we are all struggling with strategy. It seems to me at this point we are more like the finalists in Idol than the top ten...

It's going to be a fight to the finish and I hope that is reflected in the entries!

I'm glad you decided to host this Survivor Idol, G! I'm learning things about myself and my craft and that counts far more than a stolen coconut!

[murielle]

Okay, I'm just going to say it...

*HuuuuuugggggZZZZZ!

[eeyore_grrl]

"You were surprised to be one of the first people of the Chop challenge, but then you come back and put in another strong performance in the immunity challenge. As one of the dying breed of original Asaga's, are you expecting to see your name written down this week - and if so, what can you say to change people's minds? Why should they keep you around?"


Yes, I think I have a target on me between my early leads (that always get passed by others) in immunity challenges and the fact that there are only a couple of original Asaga left.

To change your mind? How far can JUST poetry go? I would really like to see how far my poetry can go on its own merits and style. There are a LOT of strong writers... aka all of you... left.

I know that my first Idol I made it to the top ten I believe. And I have again, then I fizzle. I feel I am writing, and recording, but writing is the important part, strong (mostly) personal poetry even if I send in my first drafts. Almost, if not actually, ALL of you have commented on the strength of my writing. So let's make this about the writing... (I get it if you don't, but I'll be sad for a little bit.) I don't write much without the deadline and topic these days. Keep me in to see more poetry.

[murielle]

I can SO relate to this: "I don't write much without the deadline and topic these days."

In fact, if it weren't for Idol and the homework I get from some of the online things I'm doing to keep the isolation from driving me crazy, I wouldn't be writing at all. I'm not one of those wonderfully self-motivated people. I have to really work at it, and often, sadly, I don't.

[halfshellvenus]

Re: the immunity necklace, it's a relief because of how differently this version of Idol works. Normally, you only have to worry about not getting the fewest votes! Now, even that won't help you-- it's the inverse, where not getting the MOST votes means you're at risk.

And still, the bigger relief was having bsgsix wake up. What a terrifying week. Her poor family.

[murielle]

Best news ever, wasn't it?

[adoptedwriter]

adoptedwriter -  There were definitely points in reading this that I was "Oh no, where is she going?"  But turning it into a discussion of the triggering phrases involved with child who have been adopted was an interesting take on it.  Obviously, I know why you chose the subject matter, what I'm interested in why you decided on the structure for the piece.  Coming at the idea of "triggering" as framework for the specific conversation.  Was the use of "G-d" intentional when discussing words that, if used, might upset someone? (I know why that is used, but it struck me when you used it alongside what you referred to as "the T-word" 

Actually what I submitted was a piece I was working on for an adoption group I am in. I did some editing and modifying to make it more applicable to non adopted people as well as adoptees since we all have “triggers” regardless.

I could have gone in a zillion directions with this topic because it was so broad. (Not a bad thing) I even made a list of “touchy subjects” to help me narrow it down: death, divorce, sex, money, religion, money, body image, jobs, education levels, infertility, politics just to name a few. I couldn’t pick so I went with triggers.

I’m in the habit of spelling “The Lord’s” name as ‘G-d’ because of something I learned years ago from my best friend since age 10 who is Jewish. It works well for me as a super questioner of spirituality too because I do think there is something out there that may be driving the universal bus of life, but I have no idea who/ what it is. (Besides, the Star Wars people already use “ the Force”, so, well, there you go. 😉) I phrased by using “T-word” because the term “trigger”, while understandable by many, is often over used and abused. My aim was / is to acknowledge that triggers are a real thing and should be respected, but telling everyone “Oh, that triggers me” too often might make some folx feel manipulated and unwilling to communicate anything. I hope that makes sense.

[murielle]

I hardly ever use trigger-warnings, not because I don't believe in them, or because I don't care. I just forget. (Shakes head.) Maybe it's a generational thing? Just not something I grew up with, so it doesn't stick. You know what I mean?

I used to write G-d all the time too because of something I saw on TV once that really touched me, but I got out of the habit a while back and never got back to it. Personally, I think it's beautiful. :-)

[eeyore_grrl]

"eeyore_grrl - Going to the heart of the issue might break social protocol, but certainly makes a powerful statement. It's upsetting to see how many people went almost immediately into spin mode for what happened at the Capitol instead of addressing it as a wake up call. I like how you called out exactly what would have happened, if not a quick thinking Capitol cop who distracted he terrorists away long enough for the members of the Congress to get to safety. "i know this because i’ve heard the threats against strong women/against women in power" - that hit me in the way "your politics are my life" hit other people. What was it about this particular prompt, and moment to compelled you to speak, and how did you go about crafting the entry itself from a structural standpoint?"

------------------------------------------------------

I've never been afraid to go for the political or sociopolitical topics in my writing; That part wasn't hard. The attempted coup was so astounding, even if not shocking, that almost any topic probably would have gotten the coup-treatment from me. And what is more of a touchy subject these days than the political arena?

Several women I know had been posting about what would have happened to the women, particularly the very liberal women like AOC, and the answer is always violence and rape when men want to control women. I have no doubt that it would have come to pass. And the more power a woman has the more death and rape threats they get.

As far as how I wrote this poem in a structural form... I hear the lines of the poem in my head they way I read them in my videos. I use line breaks and spacing, both in the lines and separating lines, in the way I hear the poem -- I just do my best to write it in a way so that others can hear/read it close to the same way I mean it to be read and heard. I've written this way since I found my OWN poet's voice in middle school or so. And I address these topics because someone has to do so. I can be part of the chorus that tries to explain, to understand, to share the world around me.

[murielle]

You have a very distinct and consistent style. It's interesting to learn that you've had it since such a young age. I think it's wonderful to have that.

[swirlsofpurple]

Question 2 answer:

The twist was something I discovered along the way, I had a lot of different ideas for what could happen, but that one won in the end.

[murielle]

Good twist! :-)

[bleodswean]

bleodswean - As always, it's beautifully written. Your use of language is always quite a treat, as is your take on the retelling. I'm familiar with the myth, although it didn't come straight to mind until the end and had to go back and reread. It makes me wonder what you cut out. This needed more room to breathe, to keep it from being too dense. Which makes me curious if it had that before you cut half of it. How does your self-editing process work?

Thank you, G.

You definitely hit on the problem with this entry. I really struggled this week. I wrote a very long bit of dirty realism about a very real situation and just could not stand the story. I've got it on a back burner while I try to figure out what's happening there for me. Touchy indeed! And that is one thing about Idol that I think is important - I try to not abuse the captive audience too much with experimentation. I want to post small, complete pieces. Something that has worth. But some weeks it doesn't go that way. I would love to start an off-season writers workshop where experimentation and editing and storyboarding and mind mapping and cut up method and everything to do with craft could be explored!

Anyway, I had to move away from all the words and work of the first piece and delve into something else. I messed up the deadline. So I began with my fave couple and went into a very dark place with dead babies. I was inspired by a line out of Nathaniel Hawthorne's Young Goodman Brown but when it was all written out I decided it really was too dark and personal for Idol. I'm not saying Idolars can't handle stuff, they can! But I wasn't sure I was in the right frame of mind this past week and a half to deal with it myself. At that point I realized I did not have the correct deadline, so I patched things up as best I could and posted.

In retrospect, I should have broken it up into stanzas.

[murielle]

I think this week was a challenge for all of us. Like you, I messed up the deadline. But this piece you wrote this week was exquisite torture, for me, as a reader. Exquisite because it was so very, very beautifully drawn, torture because the characters were in so much pain and the end was heartwrenching.

But your work? It is pure poetry. Always and always words like the finest silk, pure and perfect honey.

*Hugs*

[murielle]

"Your food obsession continues! :) I agree with your self-assessment that it was too short. Deadlines get the better of us all sometimes and we make due with what we can get out there. But it makes me wonder - what do you think this particular entry could have been with a day or two more? You managed to get to another cliffhanger - would the story have stopped at the same place with just more details? Would the arc have progressed further? You've had a few extra days to think of the "might have been"s - in an ideal scenario, how would this be different?"

Food obsession?! Food obsession?! Well, okay. One of my favorite fun fanfics I posted was called Pancake Porn. What can I say? I enjoy writing about food. Like right now, I've got a little shepherd's pie thawing on the counter for later...YUM!

Oh, I had such plans for that piece! But I had less than an hour and a half to pull it together and post. It hurt. There was so much more I wanted to do, like delve into her mother's touchy subjects, more on her relationship with both her mother and her great aunt, and the stuff. Oh Gary, with more time, I could have drawn you such pretty "stuff" pictures.

It hurt my heart to post it, but it would have hurt my heart so much more to have missed the deadline so I'm so, so grateful for the heads-up I received. Because even a quarter of a story is better than no story at all.

(Love the pun, hon.)

:-)

[alycewilson]

Good thing you got the heads up about the deadline!

[gunwithoutmusic]

Stop thinking that. No, I'm not talking about what you wrote this week. I'm referring to that thought you just had 5 minutes ago. I'm in your head. I know. And you really need to stop thinking that. Seriously though, another week of emotional scab picking poetry where you rend pieces of your being until they become words. Being able to work real pain into something so raw and present it for public consumption is a true gift. I've been excited to see you delve more into the intimacy of poetry to express what you are going through right now. How do you think you would approach this if you had gone with non-fiction instead? How would the narrative expand, from snapshots to atmosphere?

Something I mentioned to alycewilson is that I have a difficult time knowing exactly how I feel at any given time about things that are going on in my life. I generally take several days to process and then (at least when I'm playing Idol, though I hope to continue the habit) I sit down and write stuff out and feel better about things. Poetry is a good medium for writing out the sort of feelings I've been having lately, and I honestly don't think I could have written those feelings out as a non-fiction prose entry. Things come out the way they come out. I wanted to really convey what was going through my mind and the signs I was receiving from the universe and I think I accomplished that.

Regarding your general question, if it's my week to go (God I hope not), I'd feel good about going out on this piece. I really love being able to share more intimate parts of myself with anyone who's willing to read. It feels like such a great way to connect and I do my best to cherish every connection I make.

[murielle]

You are such a strong writer, everything you've posted has been brilliant and moving. It's a gift. And opening up like that is not easy, but I have often said, and firmly believe, that the more personal we make our work, the more universally relatable it is.

You take it to the stars, S. You really, do.

Third and General Question

[murielle]

"General question for everyone - Someone is about to go home. If this is your last entry, how do you feel about that? Are you satisfied with what you were able to come up with?"

I'm going binary on you.

No Yes.

No, because it was supposed to be bigger and more involved and detailed and twisty and ... MORE!

Yes, because I was able to get it done, get it in, and on time. It answered the cliff-hanger from the previous challenge and it led to another, and I touched on everything I wanted to put into it, just without all the detail I'd planned on.

If this is my last entry my heart will break a little...a lot. I didn't think I would feel this way when we started out, but I've really come to love playing Survivor. It is a huge part of my life right now.

Big smiles and Huge Hugs!

Re: Third and General Question

[alycewilson]

Absolutely! It's like you tell students learning how to take a test. If you have any inkling, out it down. It may be wrong, but at least you tried. Not that I felt your piece was lacking, but as you said, you wish you could have done more.

[alycewilson]

alycewilson - I'm going to speak my own honesty here for a moment - this may be my favorite piece from you in a long time. (I always enjoy them, but this one was special) I think that if you hadn't already won immunity, there would be a good chance that you would have it now anyway. I hope that anyone who missed it - because they "didn't need to read it" goes back and checks it out. It's very timely, and important. What was it about this particular prompt that made you want to tell this particular story?

I'm so happy to hear that! I have been thinking about that topic for a while, because I've noticed that, as adults, getting to know my high school classmates better, how much we were all sort of stuck in our own stunted roles in school, afraid to speak our truth. And even after publishing that, I was nervous every time I saw that one of them had commented on the link on Facebook, wondering what they would say. And yet, it was all positive. What's more, a lot of them confessed to having many of the same anxieties.

I think it's so important today, maybe more than ever before, to be honest about what hurts you, and to speak out for others. It wont solve everything, but the more we see each other as feeling human beings, capable of hurt and also of compassion, the more we might be able to get past division and find true unity.

[murielle]

Yes. Absolutely. Well, said.

[adoptedwriter]

General question for everyone - Someone is about to go home. If this is your last entry, how do you feel about that? Are you satisfied with what you were able to come up with?

There's been a lot of talk about personal relationships and their impact on the game - Who is the one person left in the game that you, personally, would never vote against?

Someone is about to go home, and this sux. It always sux because loss in nearly every way ( except when you diet and lose 10 lbs) sucks. I will miss the contestant and I will miss the Idol life if it happens to me. I did my best for this week. That’s all I know to say about that. As far as who would I never vote against... That’s personal. I don’t think in terms of voting AGAINST people in this game anyway.

I wish I had something more insightful to add but I don’t at the moment except congrats to anyone who has been rooting for Tampa Bay. Also, totally unrelated but as I type this I’m hearing a way cool and very loud owl hoo-hooing in my back yard. I wish I could see him/her but the sound is wonderful. 🦉

[murielle]

Oh! Owl! How cool!

I agree with you, it is almost impossible at this stage to vote someone off because we're all friends, and we've come through so much together. But we know from Idols past that it just gets harder and harder and there is no avoiding the hard.

Your piece this week was wonderful and as someone who is not adopted you really helped me to be much more sensitive and respectful in the future.

*Hugs*

[flipflop_diva]

I know voting is already ongoing, but I wanted to answer my question still. Sorry I didn't get to it this weekend. You would think by 14 weeks that morning sickness would disappear, not get worse, but you would be wrong ....

You focused on how people notice your "lazy eye" in pictures - was this to distract people from the picture that clearly shows your baby has been hit with Avada Kedavra (the killing curse) and survived? Did you think no one would notice that there are dark wizards after her??? Oh... right, sorry... your actual entry itself. Writing is personal, and this clearly is something that you live with every day. I thought the opening sequence worked well to bring people in, as well as set up talking about your eye. I've seen far too many people over the years bungle their openings, but you really did it well here. What was it about the prompt that made you immediately say "I want to reveal this part of myself?"

Yes, I admit. I have been keeping a HUGE secret. My daughter is really The Girl Who Lived. But you can understand that to protect her, we try not to spread that info around too much. It's hard enough fending off the dark wizards who do already know!

(ahahaha Gary, I love you)

For your actual question, I actually wasn't sure at first that this is what I wanted to write about. I thought about other ideas that are more typical 'touchy subjects', but in the end, I thought it was better to go with something that was more personal because I feel like those pieces usually end up being my stronger ones. And I've been trying as a whole this season to reveal more about myself and who I am, and this is a huge part of that.

It was really hard to write — a lot harder than I thought it would be — and I did second-guess it a few times while I was writing, but I pushed through, and I'm glad I did. I'm glad of how it turned out.

Which leads into that last question:
Someone is about to go home. If this is your last entry, how do you feel about that? Are you satisfied with what you were able to come up with?

I hope this is not my last entry, but if it is, I'm happy with it. I wrote something that was really hard for me and got it out there, and people seemed to relate to it and understand it. So if this is how I go out, then at least it's on a piece I'm proud of and I did my best on, and that's all I can ask (at least when it comes to the writing part!).

[murielle]

It was a really strong piece, hon. I hope everyone saw that and reflects it in their vote.

*Hugs*

[halfshellvenus]

My super-late response to Gary's second question...

Given your entry I thought you might appreciate that I separated the two of you from all the "non immunity winners."
Hahahaha! Very fitting!

I never know when the mood will strike me to write non-fiction. I do it much less often than fiction, and I've told many (or most?) of the stories about dramatic things that I might ever have intended to.

But for this week's prompt, the fact that it literally applied to me in terms of physical "touch" struck me right away. And because I knew that most or all of the other entries were likely to be quite serious, I wanted to offer some humor as relief.

An entry solely on actual touch would have been pretty brief and not very satisfying, but then it occurred to me that ALL my senses are "touchy" in an abstract way. I never expected the resulting story to get such a great response, but it seems that almost everyone has had experiences similar to one or two of these situations, and they can relate to how it might feel to be bombarded with all of them.

And finding out their own specifics in the comments was a lot of fun. :D

[murielle]

And you wrote your experiences and truth so well! So, so relateable as you saw from our comments. To be so sensitive to the world around you presents a serious challenge.

*Hugs*